Aly shares about her own tough teen years and how she started working with parents of teens.  Casey & Aly dig into what misguided ideas parents of teens have and what new brain science is showing us, like behavior-based parenting (ie: punishments and rewards) leading to acting-out & defiance and how much brains grow & change during puberty.  Aly explains what a boundary truly is, and why children & teens should not and cannot be responsible for parent’s feelings.  She shares how common co-dependence is for Gen X and Gen Y and how that can lead to controlling or catering to your teen along with a sense of responsibility for others feelings and behaviors.  Casey breaks down being kind & firm at the same time.  Aly defines boundaries and expectations with examples as well as how & why to stay compassionate and curious with your teen.  Aly wraps up by explaining what teens need to show their best effort, including in an antiquated school system.

Takeaways from the show:

• Misguided ideas about the teen years  
• We parent the way we were parented 
• The strategies that worked well with your young child will not work with that same child in the teen years 
• 100% of behavior is driven by emotion; we must learn relationship-skills and how to connect
• Gen X and Gen Y were raised with a heavy responsibility for their parent’s feelings, leading to co-dependence  
• Everyone, including parents and teens, are worthy and deserving of respect
• You are responsible for your own feelings and behaviors and not anyone else’s (including your teens) 
• What really is a boundary?  What’s the difference between a boundary and an expectation? 
• Staying compassionate and curious with your teen 
• Effort = belief in self + belief in a probable success + understanding the risk of failure 
• Parenting is a process that starts with you: be gracious, let it be messy, & it’s never too late to change a relationship

For more information + transcripts go to our website here.

I'm outta here!!

For real. I am on a plane with Julietta Skoog, my partner at Sproutable headed out on a WORLD TOUR!! We land later today in the UAE and will be speaking at the Parenthood Unconference next week, alongside so many amazing speakers.

Listen to this SHORT solo show to hear all about it! 

My guest today is Domari Dickinson. 

Domari shares how she got started on her Conscious Parenting & Positive Discipline journey.  They discuss what Conscious Parenting, Positive Parenting, & Gentle Parenting mean and if those are helpful labels.  Domari shares her tips for those of us who are transitioning to a different parenting style, including identifying & digging into your own triggers, leading with love & grace, and feeling all of your feelings.

Takeaways from the show:

• What does being a conscious parent mean? 
• Doing the work ourselves & focusing on personal growth 
• Unpacking your bags and identifying your triggers 
• Leading with love & grace 
• Get comfortable asking yourself “why?” 
• Being okay with not having “the right answer” 
• Feeling & accepting all of your feelings

Listeners - you are in for a TREAT!! This Thursday the Joyful Courage podcast feed is being taken over by my good friend, Julie Neale, host and brilliance over at Mothers Quest Podcast. 

Julie has powerful conversations with incredible guests and I am honored to be sharing one of those convos here with the Joyful Courage community.

Julie's guest is Jonathan Mooney, father, writer, speaker, activist, and self-described “do-gooder.” He is the author of Normal Sucks, How to Live, Learn and Thrive Outside the Lines.

Jonathan forged his own path to Brown University where he co-founded an organization and co-wrote a book to help neurodivergent students like himself succeed in college.

He has been a champion for neurological and physical diversity for more than two decades, and goes deep and wide with Julie about the pervasive impact of institutionalized and cultural ableism and his quest to help himself and others with differences understand they are not deficient.

You are IN FOR A TREAT MY FRIENDS!! 

You can find shownotes for this episode by clicking this link: http://mothersquest.com/different-is-not-deficient-with-normal-sucks-author-jonathan-mooney/

While you're at it, be sure to check out MothersQuest episode 93 where Julie's son, a freshman at UCLA, interviews Jonathan about neurodivergent activism and more!

Appreciating you all so much!

My guest today is Kimberly Holmes. 

Kimberly and Casey talk about their family backgrounds and what common challenges long-term, committed couples are facing.  They discuss couples therapy and intentionally supporting both spouses & a safe environment during Marriage Helpers workshops.  Casey and Kimberly talk similarities and differences between problem solving, using curiosity questions, and compromising with a teen versus with a spouse.  Kimberly shares advice on how to listen to and take feedback from a partner and tips on how parents can find common ground when it comes to their teens.  Casey and Kimberly wrap up digging into the importance of consistency, relationships ending, and the challenges of co-parenting.

Takeaways:

• How do the teen years affect your partnership with your spouse? 
• Pushing or pulling out of a marriage
• How do you show up in your relationship?
• Genuinely asking your spouse questions with curiosity 
• Receiving feedback from a spouse without getting defensive 
• Finding common ground, empathy, & being teammates with your spouse 
• Do parents need to have the same parenting style? 
• Can every marriage be saved? When is it time to call it quits? 
• Having peace in your decisions  
• Co-parenting challenges, disappointments, & tips

Find full show notes here: http://www.besproutable.com/eps-341-exploring-intimate-partnerships-kimberly-holmes

I am so grateful to be bringing back this show. It was a powerful re-listen for me, and I remembered the tension of the early teen years, the mistakes my daughter was telling me she was making, and how challenging it was to hold it all and still feel like I knew what I was doing. If you are committed to relationship centered parenting AND struggling with your teens risky behavior or less than ideal decision making, this show will help you feel seen, no doubt.

If you are interested in the waitlist for my membership program, head to www.besproutable.com/ljc.

For more complete shownotes for this show go to https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-115-solo-show-exploring-trust-and-surrender-as-i-navigate-all-there-is-to-learn-while-raising-a-teen/

My guest today is Britt Hawthorne.   

Casey and Britt dig into what being anti-biased and anti-racist mean.  Britt shares strategies from her new book, “Raising Anti-Racist Children: A Practical Parenting Guide,” for talking about racism with children and teens including embracing getting uncomfortable & admitting what you don’t know.  Britt shares her wisdom on how to tackle tough topics like police brutality with your kids and family. 

Guest Description 

Britt Hawthorne is a black, bi-racial mama, teacher, author, and anti-bias & anti-racist facilitator.  Britt partners with caregivers, educators, and families to raise the next generation of anti-racist children.  Together with her beloved partner, they are raising their kids to be empathetic, critical thinkers embracing justice and activism.  Her days are filled with coffee, teaching, and joy.  You can find out more about Britt at www.britthawthorne.com.

See full show notes here:

http://www.besproutable.com/raising-anti-racist-children-with-britt-hawthorne/

Raising teenagers is HARD. This solo show explores the dynamic we create when we work to hold on to control and what come alive when we are willing to let go and give our kids the space they need to develop the skills that will serve them in the long term.

Get the full show notes at: 

www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-339-solo-having-the-courage-to-let-go

My guest today is Amy Lang.

Amy and Casey discuss the importance of and how to talk about sex and sexuality with your tweens and teens.  This conversation covers sex, sexuality, consent, sex positivity, pornography, safe spaces for sex, gender.  They also share resources and tips for these sometimes-awkward conversations with growing kids. 

Amy Lang has been a sexual health educator for over 25 years.  In 2006, she started Birds & Bees & Kids. With her lively, engaging, and down-to-earth style she helps parents become comfortable and confident talking with their kids. Amy’s books, online solutions center, and podcast show parents they really can become their kids' go-to birds and bees source. 

Amy is still married to her first husband, and they are getting the hang of parenting their recently launched man-child. She lives in Seattle, WA, and you can learn more about her work at BirdsAndBeesAndKids.com and BBKPros.com.

Find out more here.