COMMUNITY IS EVERYTHING!
Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook groups:
Live and Love with Joyful Courage
Joyful Courage for Parents of Teens
::::
SUPER FAM
Take that community vibe next level by joining the Joyful Courage Patreon community! For as little as $5/month you can support the podcast, and enjoy weekly FB lives from me every Monday - answering questions from the community and offering direct support and coaching, and every other week there is also a Podcast Recap discussion. --> www.patreon.com/joyfulcourage
::::
Thank you BETTER HELP!
This podcast is sponsored by Better Help - online counseling anytime, anywhere. → www.betterhelp.com/joyfulcourage
::::
Today is a solo show from me… And I am sharing some personal thoughts and plans for Joyful Courage and what to expect through the summer and into the fall.
What a wild first half of 2020
I am taking a break from the podcast
Hard to step away
AND
:::
The Book, The Coaching
Joyful Courage is so much more than a podcast! I know that you love listening in every week AND I want to encourage you to dig deeper into the learning with me, INVEST in you parenting journey.
READ THE BOOK - Joyful Courage, Calming the Drama and Taking Control of Your Parenting Journey is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access to the tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child. Available both in book and audio book form → http://www.joyfulcourage.com/book
CONSIDER ONE ON ONE COACHING - The most POWERFUL of investments offered by Joyful Courage, one on one coaching allows for parents to really tease apart the current issues they are having with their child, while also developing a clear compass for guiding them in the direction they want to be going in. Coaching happens every other week, and is open for parents with kids 4 years old through the teen years. Go to my coaching page to book a free exploratory call and see if we are the right fit. → http://www.joyfulcourage.com/jccoaching
:::::
Be a Subscriber
Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!! AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!
CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!
COMMUNITY IS EVERYTHING!
Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook groups:
Live and Love with Joyful Courage
Joyful Courage for Parents of Teens
::::
Today’s guest is Vivek Patel. Vivek is a conscious parenting educator who works with families to help create more harmony and connection in their homes. He has dedicated his life to spreading awareness and supporting change in schools. He's worked with youth organizations teaching conflict resolution anti bullying and leadership through movement martial arts and dance. As a conscious parenting educator, he has written hundreds of articles and has 60 parenting videos, you can find his writing on Facebook, the meaningful ideas website and YouTube. We are discussing how to take current events and bring the learning into the home. Join us!
" Being anti-racist...It's a mindset that we look at the world through that we analyze the systems that we engage in with, that we listen to language with, and, and everything from media and advertising to government systems to educational systems, the correction system, the legal system, the financial system, the housing system, everything.”
“ From the micro to the macro, being willing to look at those things and see look for look at and look for the inequities, to be willing to see them inside yourself and and other people and the systems and the anti racist part of it is to be doing something to actively change it.”
“When we lift up the people that are oppressed, all of us benefit from it.”
“Conscious parenting is cycle breaking”
What you’ll hear in this episode:
What does Joyful Courage mean to you?
You know, activism contains both joy and pain. I've been doing activism for 30 years, like I said, and I think that it's the ability to embrace both of those things that makes it brings our power. A friend of mine recently asked "Vivek, how do I do all this self examination without being completely exhausted and in pain." and I said, "You can't really, we have to accept that part of this growth is part of the pain and then Can we find joy in embracing our pain? Can we find joy in embracing the whole of who we are? The pain of who we are the errors that we have, the mistakes that we make, you know, even you noticing that about the picture you had about the grandma, can you find joy in noticing that racist lens?” Maybe I'll say racial lens to soften a little bit.
And so that's what I feel about, about joy. I think joy, one of my sayings is, I use the word happiness, but I think it applies the same one of my sayings is, "Happiness is not an emotion, it's a foundation. It's deeper, it's something deeper than the dualities that we experienced, the variety that we experienced. The connection with joy is something that's a connection with my deep self. It's what I call the "ocean self", you know, we're all waves on the ocean. And there's a Casey wave and a Vivek wave.
I see all the different waves around. And I think that each of us as waves really are just different forms of the same ocean and so when I'm in touch with my ocean self, that's when I feel the most joy. And the ocean self can hold my pain and can hold the transitory type of joy.
And then courage. I think courage is an inward journey and an outward journey simultaneously. I think courage is the inward journey of really knowing myself, of being able to face myself, love myself, and also be very, very honest with myself. And the outward journey is the choices I make in the world, what I choose to say, what I choose to think, what I choose to learn, how it's used to treat people. And what I choose to stand up for and who I choose to protect.
I think that it's that kind of combining of the inward and outward journey simultaneously from the experience of knowing our ocean self and our wave self. So put all of that together and you have joyful courage.
Resources:
FB Page – Meaningful Ideas, Gentle Parents Unite
Meaningfulideas.com – writing
You tube – Meaningful Ideas
Weekly podcast – Gentle parents Unite Podcast
Gentle Parenting Patreon – coaching, meditation for parents, social justice education, live on Thursdays
::::
Thank you BETTER HELP!
This podcast is sponsored by Better Help - online counseling anytime, anywhere. → www.betterhelp.com/joyfulcourage
:::
SUPER FAM
Take that community vibe next level by joining the Joyful Courage Patreon community! For as little as $5/month you can support the podcast, and enjoy weekly FB lives from me every Monday - answering questions from the community and offering direct support and coaching, and every other week there is also a Podcast Recap discussion. --> www.patreon.com/joyfulcourage
:::
The Book, The Coaching
Joyful Courage is so much more than a podcast! I know that you love listening in every week AND I want to encourage you to dig deeper into the learning with me, INVEST in you parenting journey.
READ THE BOOK - Joyful Courage, Calming the Drama and Taking Control of Your Parenting Journey is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access to the tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child. Available both in book and audio book form → http://www.joyfulcourage.com/book
CONSIDER ONE ON ONE COACHING - The most POWERFUL of investments offered by Joyful Courage, one on one coaching allows for parents to really tease apart the current issues they are having with their child, while also developing a clear compass for guiding them in the direction they want to be going in. Coaching happens every other week, and is open for parents with kids 4 years old through the teen years. Go to my coaching page to book a free exploratory call and see if we are the right fit. → http://www.joyfulcourage.com/jccoaching
:::::
Be a Subscriber
Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!! AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!
CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!
COMMUNITY IS EVERYTHING!
Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook groups:
Live and Love with Joyful Courage
Joyful Courage for Parents of Teens
:::
Solo show – last minute decision to wait on the conversation that I was going to air today….
Before we start, reminding you all that I have a PD Class on zoom beginning next Monday
Today I am going to talk about chores and allowance
There was a post from a mom in on of the Joyful Courage FB groups a few weeks ago reflecting on how it was time for her 11 and 5 year old to begin chores and allowance. The comments were a range of advice, with many parents speaking into separating chores from allowance. I promised the group that I would speak into this on the podcast.
Before I do though, I want to say that you get to take this information and make it your own, right? You get to decide what is best for YOUR family when it comes to chores and allowance. I also acknowledge that being able to give our children and allowance isn’t something that everyone can do. Please listen for the underlying spirit instead of listening thinking there is a “right” way to do this.
Also, I want you to notice if you are listening though the filter of “my kids won/t…” or “what happens if they don’t…” or you will miss the message.
There is a level of significance and mattering that shows up when our kids are expected to be in contribution. Trust that. Trust them.
So chores – contributions/family work
We started when our kids were young and we have been through MANY different routines for family work. They have always been expected to take care of the kitchen after dinner, and help out around the house.
I have lived through the same pushback that everyone else gets, and I hold that “we all live here, we all take care of our home.” This is just what we do. When the kids moan or complain, I work hard not to get sucked in, instead say, “I know – there are other things I want to do right now too” or “what would help you in getting this done?”
Some kids more easy going than others
Have a plan, be explicit
Co-creating routines
Inside the plan be explicit about what is a “completed job” and when it needs to be done by
Take time to train:
Fold this into the fabric of your family
Don’t be rigid
Ask for their ideas
Allowance – we don’t pay for chores…. Story about rowan and ian
“yeah but” – typically don’t need to threat or reward – and will be explicit “your jobs need to be done before you leave the house/jump on a screen/lunchtime/etc”
We don’t pay for chores.
We started giving the kids a small allowance when they were young so that they had money to learn to manage.
As they got older, their allowance increased and what we would pay for decreased
Not so much allowance that they could do whatever they wanted, just enough so that they would feel the tension and learn to “manage” their money.
There are bigger jobs around the house that we pay for – car washing/lawn mowing – but other than that, allowance is separate from chores.
Resources:
Amy McCreedy on Joyful Courage Eps 62 – Teaching our Kids Money Sense
The opposite of spoiled by Ron Lieber
Montessori guide to age appropriate chores (handout online)
Because I know you are thinking…. But what about when they don’t help out…??
Build relationship.
Build relationship.
Build relationship.
Create an agreement around chores:
“I have a problem and I need your help”
You’ve got this friend! Let me now what you put into practice and any questions or feedback that you have.
::::
Thank you BETTER HELP!
This podcast is sponsored by Better Help - online counseling anytime, anywhere. → www.betterhelp.com/joyfulcourage
:::
SUPER FAM
Take that community vibe next level by joining the Joyful Courage Patreon community! For as little as $5/month you can support the podcast, and enjoy weekly FB lives from me every Monday - answering questions from the community and offering direct support and coaching, and every other week there is also a Podcast Recap discussion. --> www.patreon.com/joyfulcourage
:::
The Book, The Coaching
Joyful Courage is so much more than a podcast! I know that you love listening in every week AND I want to encourage you to dig deeper into the learning with me, INVEST in you parenting journey.
READ THE BOOK - Joyful Courage, Calming the Drama and Taking Control of Your Parenting Journey is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access to the tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child. Available both in book and audio book form → http://www.joyfulcourage.com/book
CONSIDER ONE ON ONE COACHING - The most POWERFUL of investments offered by Joyful Courage, one on one coaching allows for parents to really tease apart the current issues they are having with their child, while also developing a clear compass for guiding them in the direction they want to be going in. Coaching happens every other week, and is open for parents with kids 4 years old through the teen years. Go to my coaching page to book a free exploratory call and see if we are the right fit. → http://www.joyfulcourage.com/jccoaching
:::::
Be a Subscriber
Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!! AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!
CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!
COMMUNITY IS EVERYTHING!
Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook groups:
Live and Love with Joyful Courage
Joyful Courage for Parents of Teens
:::
Today I am solo.
I have a heavy heart this week, and a short show. I know I promised something on chores and allowance but you will have to wait a few weeks for that.
This week I want to highlight a few shows that I have done in the past and offer up some resources to keep learning and growing as humans – because that is what my work si about – Joyful Courage is about embracing opportunities to grow, even when it’s messy and wobbly.
As someone with an audience that is largely white women, I am going to step into THIS opportunity to share some thoughts and steps to be better. I am heartsick over here as I reach out to my friends who are also people of color, letting thme know that I see them and I stand with them. I am heartsick all the time when I think about the conversations that they need to have with their children that I will never need to have with mine, because of the color of their skin. I am heartsick when I consider the fear they hold every time their partner or child leaves the house.
Enough.
And white women… we have power. We have so much power. My intention here is to invite you in to your own learning about your power, about your implicit bias, about the conditioning that continues to lead us all through a system that is designed to lift only some of us.
And I get it, where do we start? What do we do? It is uncomfortable, we don’t want to say the wrong thing, we don’t want to add to the hurt and the micro aggressions with our unintentional ignorance. But doing nothing and continuing to say nothing is not ok.
Time to speak up. To stand up. To learn, to be corrected when we get it wrong and take it with humility. To be uncomfortable. Because guess what? The black people in this country have been uncomfortable since the beginning. They have been beaten down, silenced, abused, ridiculed, traumatized and more – since the beginning. We can be in the growing pain of learning to be better.
Here are a few places to start.
I shared these podcasts on my social media this week – be sure to check them out:
The first conversation is with Jason Frelot from Kids and Race. He and I discuss the role of parenting in dismantling racism, understanding whit privilege and so much more. Jason is an activity in Seattle and has created programs for parents AND kids that cultivate “socially responsible and culturally aware children.” Listen: http://www.joyfulcourage.com/podcast/78
I would also like to share my conversation with Danielle Slaughter from Mamademics. Danielle is the mom of two boys and an academic. She writes a brutally honest blog called Mamademics and also offers powerful courses through her site, Raising and Advocate. Follow her, learn from her, support her work. Listen: http://www.joyfulcourage.com/podcast/151 ⠀
And more recently I invited my friend, Yolanda Williams onto the podcast to discuss her work with the Parenting Decolonized Podcast and her powerful group for black families working towards conscious parenting, Conscious Parenting Time. Yolanda is a powerhouse in the intersection of race and parenting in America. Follow her, listen to her. Listen: http://www.joyfulcourage.com/podcast/223
IF you love consuming content through audio, here are the two books that I am working through:
White Fragility: Why It's So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism by Robin Diangelo
So You Want to Talk About Race by Ijeoma Oluo (Ijoma Aloo)
There are so many others out there as well – do your research and consume to learn.
Other podcasts that I would encourage you to subscribe to are:
Parenting Decolonized
Parenting and Politics
Codeswitch
SEEK OUT people to follow and learn from on SM – a few that I appreciate are:
Austin Channing Brown
Rachel Elizabeth Cargle
The Conscious Kid
And of course the people highlighted in the shows above.
Donate:
Here are 7 organizations to consider donating to AND I would find out what groups are active in your local area and show your support there as well -
Know Your Rights Camp
Showing Up For Racial Justice
Blackout Collective
NAACP
Black Lives Matter
Minnesota Freedom Fund
ACLU
We can do better people.
And if you want, join me every day for the first 10 days of June at 8amish on the Joyful Courage FB page for a short video supporting us all with living joyful courage in the context of current events.
Love you
::::
Thank you BETTER HELP!
This podcast is sponsored by Better Help - online counseling anytime, anywhere. → www.betterhelp.com/joyfulcourage
:::
SUPER FAM
Take that community vibe next level by joining the Joyful Courage Patreon community! For as little as $5/month you can support the podcast, and enjoy weekly FB lives from me every Monday - answering questions from the community and offering direct support and coaching, and every other week there is also a Podcast Recap discussion. --> www.patreon.com/joyfulcourage
:::
The Book, The Coaching
Joyful Courage is so much more than a podcast! I know that you love listening in every week AND I want to encourage you to dig deeper into the learning with me, INVEST in you parenting journey.
READ THE BOOK - Joyful Courage, Calming the Drama and Taking Control of Your Parenting Journey is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access to the tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child. Available both in book and audio book form → http://www.joyfulcourage.com/book
CONSIDER ONE ON ONE COACHING - The most POWERFUL of investments offered by Joyful Courage, one on one coaching allows for parents to really tease apart the current issues they are having with their child, while also developing a clear compass for guiding them in the direction they want to be going in. Coaching happens every other week, and is open for parents with kids 4 years old through the teen years. Go to my coaching page to book a free exploratory call and see if we are the right fit. → http://www.joyfulcourage.com/jccoaching
:::::
Be a Subscriber
Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!! AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!
CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!