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Joyful Courage - A Conscious Parenting Podcast

Joyful Courage is a Conscious Parenting Podcast. Be inspired, entertained and educated as we navigate the challenges and celebrations of choosing to be a conscious parent. Interviews and solo shows will provide listeners with tools, strategies and inspiration that can be directly applied to their parenting journey.
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Now displaying: May, 2020
May 27, 2020

COMMUNITY IS EVERYTHING!

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook groups:

Live and Love with Joyful Courage
Joyful Courage for Parents of Teens

::::

SUPER FAM

Take that community vibe next level by joining the Joyful Courage Patreon community! For as little as $5/month you can support the podcast, and enjoy weekly FB lives from me every Monday - answering questions from the community and offering direct support and coaching, and every other week there is also a Podcast Recap discussion. --> www.patreon.com/joyfulcourage

::::

Thank you BETTER HELP!

This podcast is sponsored by Better Help - online counseling anytime, anywhere. → www.betterhelp.com/joyfulcourage

::::

Today’s guest is Leah Carrie, a sex and intimacy coach who helps women shed shame about their sexuality and communicate about what they really want in the bedroom rather than just tolerating what they're given. Her clients learn to embrace their sexuality no matter what it looks like. She is the host of the podcast Good Girls Talk About Sex. 

 

Sexual freedom is a subject that is deeply personal to Leah because she spent most of her life being a very good girl. Most of the sex she had was either boring or painful, but she endured it because she didn't know she was allowed to ask for anything different. Having taken her own journey to sexual freedom, she is now passionate about breaking the silence, fear and shame around women's sexuality and pleasure and redefining what it means to be a good girl. Join us!

" I discovered, not only is it okay to be as interested in sex as I've always been, but it's okay for sex to be pleasurable. And it's really, really okay for me to ask for what I want.”

“I had spent my whole life thinking that I was giving consent for all of the sex I had been having, because I wasn't saying no. It turns out that's not what consent means at all. Consent is active and enthusiastic.” 

“We're all so afraid of being judged.”

What you’ll hear in this episode:

  • The role of tantric massage
  • The meaning of consent
  • Sexual healing and sex work 
  • The criminalization of sex work 
  • How sex ed is approached in other countries
  • How to say and accept “no” 
  • Postpartum sex and expectations
  • Sex positive parenting
  • Quarantine touch deprivation

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

To me, it means figuring out what we really really want and asking for it. Courage is, I think, figuring out what we want. And being willing to admit that maybe somebody else is interested in giving to us and the joyful part of that is sharing it and believing that maybe we could get it. And I really don't want people to be walking around like I was for the first 42 years of my life, believing that I was just supposed to accept whatever I was given and I wasn't allowed to ask for anything more. And since I have learned a new way of being, my life has changed dramatically in the best possible ways. And so I want that for everyone.

Resources: 

Good Girls Talk About Sex
The Three Minute Game

Where to find:

Youtube@goodgirlstalk on FB | @goodgirlstalk on InstaFB GroupWebsiteTwitter

::::

The Book, The Coaching

Joyful Courage is so much more than a podcast! I know that you love listening in every week AND I want to encourage you to dig deeper into the learning with me, INVEST in you parenting journey.

READ THE BOOK - Joyful Courage, Calming the Drama and Taking Control of Your Parenting Journey is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access to the tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child. Available both in book and audio book form → http://www.joyfulcourage.com/book

CONSIDER ONE ON ONE COACHING - The most POWERFUL of investments offered by Joyful Courage, one on one coaching allows for parents to really tease apart the current issues they are having with their child, while also developing a clear compass for guiding them in the direction they want to be going in. Coaching happens every other week, and is open for parents with kids 4 years old through the teen years. Go to my coaching page to book a free exploratory call and see if we are the right fit. → http://www.joyfulcourage.com/jccoaching

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

 

May 20, 2020

COMMUNITY IS EVERYTHING!

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook groups:

Live and Love with Joyful Courage
Joyful Courage for Parents of Teens

::::

SUPER FAM

Take that community vibe next level by joining the Joyful Courage Patreon community! For as little as $5/month you can support the podcast, and enjoy weekly FB lives from me every Monday - answering questions from the community and offering direct support and coaching, and every other week there is also a Podcast Recap discussion. --> www.patreon.com/joyfulcourage

::::

Thank you BETTER HELP!

This podcast is sponsored by Better Help - online counseling anytime, anywhere. → www.betterhelp.com/joyfulcourage

::::

Ahhh, hello.

It’s been a couple weeks and I am so glad to be here with you, just the two of us. Life keeps lifing….  If you are in the US, quarantine keeps quarantining….  I have personally been in the practice of riding the waves of all the things over here…

Before I get into content over here… I want to shout out to my daughter Rowan! She is learning about coding and social media management and will be doing more of my Instagram posts in the future – be sure to head over there and show her a little love.

I also want to highlight my VERY FIRST REVIEW on itunes!!! A little over FIVE YEARS AGO I started this show (can you believe it’s been that long??) And my very first review came from a fellow podcaster – Lauren Fire. She wrote:

Lauren Fire, 05/29/2015
Passionate and inspiring podcast!

I love your passion for this topic, thanks for creating such great content and helping out parents! Welcome to the podcasting world! -Lauren Fire, Inspiring Mama Podcast

I am sharing this because I remember reading this review and it meant the world to me. Singe Lauren chimed in, over 100 of you have let me know what you think about the show through rating and reviewing on iTunes. I am really hoping that more of you write in. Reviews support the show in triggering iTunes to make it visible to ever more people looking for parenting support and inspiration. If you aren’t sure HOW to leave a review, head over to www.joyfulcourage.com/itunesreview and see a tutorial there to help you out.

Also, we have moved to Wednesday for release day!! Woohoo! Those of you on my email list were informed last week about this change. With all going on with my husbands health, this was a move I needed to make, thank you for understanding.

The last time I was solo with you all, I spoke into respect, and lid flipping, and striving for  doing what is effective, rather than thinking there is a right and wrong way….

Today I want to talk about beat up.

There tend to be two extreme ends of the spectrum…. THre are those of us who have a crazy ideal that we are trying to live up to – typically one where we don’t make any mistakes and show up perfect in all the roles we play. None of us can ever really get there, but we are striving for it. The self talk may sound like:

“I have to be more present with the kids.”

“I need to make more homecooked meals.”

“I’ve got to catch up on housecleaning/laundry/yardwork….”

“I’ve GOT to loose some weight…”

We are AWARE that there are steps we can take to move in the direction of the life we want to create, AND, when we aren’t taking the steps, or aren’t creating this perfect life, we collapse into defeat. Awareness is high, beat up is high. It’s a tough place to find ourselves.

Or there is the opposite extreme. There are those of us that are shooting from the hip all the time and if everyone else can’t get with the program, that is there problem. We don’t see why anyone needs to be in a parenting class, or read a book, or doing any of the self help stuff, because we see the world clearly through our lens and know what to do in any given situation.

We are the people who don’t take any ownership of our kids behavior. The question when our kids get into mischief is often “what do I have to do to you to get you to behave?”

Personal awareness is low. Beat up is low, unless you count the beat up we do to others who make life hard for us.

Now, I don’t imagine that there are a lot of people in the second group listening to my podcast, because you all know how invested I am in personal growth and how passionately I believe in the ways parents influence the behavior they see from their kids. But I think it is valuable to consider those two extremes.

I think MOST of us fall in the middle.

We might have an ideal when it comes to parenting and how we shoe up in the world, but it is more of a compass for the direction we want to be headed, not necessarily a destination that we can ever arrive at.

We get that life is uncertain and unpredictable, and how we respond to what shows up matters and influences the unfolding.

We see our kids as their own separate entities, yes, and when things start going sideways we take a step back to consider what we may be doing to contribute to how they are behaving. We try to remember that our children are on their own journey, that they belong to themselves, first and foremost, and we get to caretake for the first part.

We do the best we can, AND, we get that the house isn’t going to always be clean (and oh man it is so nice when it is), meals aren’t always perfect (yeah for take-out and meal kits), AND it is impossible to be present for our family 24/7.

We do the best we can.

Awareness is high, most of the time, and beat up?  Beat up is something that lives inside of awareness, meaning, when we go there, WE WORK TOWARDS RECOGNIZING THAT IT ISN’T USEFUL OR TRUE. We let go of the beat up. We move on. We make it right. We try something new next time.

I am going to give you an example of this….  Last night I became aware of something my husband did that sent me right into judgement and a feeling of loss of control. My experience first was surprise, then disappointment, then fear. My tummy was tight, my jaw was clenched, my shoulders became rigid, and I did what I always do when I feel that way. I went on attack.

What I wanted from my husband, if I am honest, was for him to tell me I was right. I was looking for some groveling, the kind of apology that sounds like, “babe, I am so sorry…” And if I am totally honest, I just wanted that so that I would know that he felt BAD and I still would have been angry.

The family was getting ready to take an evening walk, something that has only JUST started happening and I love it – love being together exploring the neighborhood – but I was too busy wanting to make my husband feel bad so I said, “I’m not going.”

For real. I had my own little teenage tantrum.

I was aware of what was happening. I was even aware that if I took the walk I would probably shift how I felt and get over it, but gosh darn it, I didn’t want to get over it. I needed him to KNOW the seriousness of his “mistake” and feel the pain.

So lame, I know, but I just couldn’t let it go. My ego mind was in control, egging me on, encouraging me to hold out ---- for what??? I don’t know, for someone to tell me I was right and he was wrong.

They got home and I was still in my room. I barely spoke to my husband, wouldn’t look at him, yelled at my son….  GAH. It was embarrassing, and yet I was totally swept up.

And when I look at it now, I wonder if holding on to the anger kept me from feeling the embarrassment of how I was acting? Maybe? By the time I woke up this morning I was totally over it. I thought about how I had behaved and I gave myself a huge eye roll.  I got up and made a warm drink and wrote in my journal on the patio. I wrote all about the experience of last night. And what I noticed was there was no beat up.

I was not beating myself up for letting my human-ness fly. Instead, I am aware that I could nave done better. I could have made a different choice. I could have let my anger go, joined my family on the walk, and released the grip my ego had on me. And I didn’t. And I now have the chance to make things right with my peeps. In fact, I already started.

My point is that we can have ideals to move towards, but the process of heading in their direction is messy. We are spiritual beings having a human experience and we will make lots of mistakes. Lets just settle into that reality. We will make lots of mistakes. Not because we are bad or worthless – but because we are HUMAN.

And what a gift to model this healthy messiness to our kids. They get to witness and learn from how we own and navigate our mistakes.

Lets keep our awareness high, friends, and the beat up low. Lets strive to be better, and embrace our imperfection. Let’s be ok with two steps forward, one step back – this is the dance of life. <3::::

The Book, The Coaching

Joyful Courage is so much more than a podcast! I know that you love listening in every week AND I want to encourage you to dig deeper into the learning with me, INVEST in you parenting journey.

READ THE BOOK - Joyful Courage, Calming the Drama and Taking Control of Your Parenting Journey is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access to the tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child. Available both in book and audio book form → http://www.joyfulcourage.com/book

CONSIDER ONE ON ONE COACHING - The most POWERFUL of investments offered by Joyful Courage, one on one coaching allows for parents to really tease apart the current issues they are having with their child, while also developing a clear compass for guiding them in the direction they want to be going in. Coaching happens every other week, and is open for parents with kids 4 years old through the teen years. Go to my coaching page to book a free exploratory call and see if we are the right fit. → http://www.joyfulcourage.com/jccoaching

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

 

May 13, 2020

COMMUNITY IS EVERYTHING!

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook groups:

Live and Love with Joyful CourageJoyful Courage for Parents of Teens

::::

SUPER FAM

Take that community vibe next level by joining the Joyful Courage Patreon community! For as little as $5/month you can support the podcast, and enjoy weekly FB lives from me every Monday - answering questions from the community and offering direct support and coaching, and every other week there is also a Podcast Recap discussion. --> www.patreon.com/joyfulcourage

::::

Thank you BETTER HELP!

This podcast is sponsored by Better Help - online counseling anytime, anywhere. → www.betterhelp.com/joyfulcourage

::::

I am so excited to welcome my guest, Dr. Habib Sadeghi.

Dr. Habib Sadeghi is the founder of Be Hive of Healing, an integrative medical center based in Los Angeles. He specializes in multi-disciplinary treatment for chronic illnesses that include osteopathic, anthroposophical, environmental, psychosomatic, family, and German new medicine, as well as clinical pharmacology.

He served as an attending Physician and Clinical Facilitator at UCLA-Santa Monica Medical Center and is currently a Clinical Instructor of Family Medicine at Western University of Health Sciences. Dr. Sadeghi is a regular contributor to Goop, CNN, BBC News and the Huffington Post, and is the publisher of the health and well-being journal, MegaZEN.

Dr. Sadeghi believes that most problems between parents and children (or indeed, between any two people) are a problem of CONNECTION. By building stronger connections with our children, we are able to move beyond the fighting, yelling, nagging, or other struggles, and into a place of mutual respect and understanding, where real problem-solving can occur. In turn, when we care for our own and our children's mental and emotional health and healing, we drastically reduce the potential for physical diseases, as the mind-body connection is so deep.

::::

The Book, The Coaching

Joyful Courage is so much more than a podcast! I know that you love listening in every week AND I want to encourage you to dig deeper into the learning with me, INVEST in you parenting journey.

READ THE BOOK - Joyful Courage, Calming the Drama and Taking Control of Your Parenting Journey is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access to the tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child. Available both in book and audio book form → http://www.joyfulcourage.com/book

CONSIDER ONE ON ONE COACHING - The most POWERFUL of investments offered by Joyful Courage, one on one coaching allows for parents to really tease apart the current issues they are having with their child, while also developing a clear compass for guiding them in the direction they want to be going in. Coaching happens every other week, and is open for parents with kids 4 years old through the teen years. Go to my coaching page to book a free exploratory call and see if we are the right fit. → http://www.joyfulcourage.com/jccoaching

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

 

May 5, 2020

COMMUNITY IS EVERYTHING!

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook groups:

Live and Love with Joyful Courage
Joyful Courage for Parents of Teens

::::

SUPER FAM

Take that community vibe next level by joining the Joyful Courage Patreon community! For as little as $5/month you can support the podcast, and enjoy weekly FB lives from me every Monday - answering questions from the community and offering direct support and coaching, and every other week there is also a Podcast Recap discussion. --> www.patreon.com/joyfulcourage

::::

Thank you BETTER HELP!

This podcast is sponsored by Better Help - online counseling anytime, anywhere. → www.betterhelp.com/joyfulcourage

:::

Hi! Welcome back…. Those of you that are new to the podcast I want to give you a warm welcome, I am so glad you are here. As the longtime listeners know, this show is part informative and educational, part deeply personal, and always authentic and, I hope, relatable. That is always my goal.

 

We are on a collective journey.

 

Good/ bad, right/wrong, winning/failing à how about effective/ ineffective?

  • Takes the judgment out
  • Allows us to know be in this role where we SHOULD know exactly what to do
  • Shifts us out of the idea that there IS a right thing to do

 

It’s all a grand experiment.

 

Shout out to my new group of parents who are doing PD with me through zoom. So excited to be in service…

 

What I notice:

  • I always encourage people to speak up
  • I prompt when I feel the energy shift
  • Common
    • Won’t work for my kid
    • I’m not her
    • It’s too late
    • Kids have to pay for their behavior

 

This last one is a big one. None of us want spoiled kids AND we all want to feel respected. So, letting go of their mischief when they are flipped is really challenging because this is when they are at their worst.

 

Let’s review the brain science

  • Brain in the palm of the hand review
  • THIS MEANS, they aren’t consciously aware of what they are doing/saying when the brain stem of the amygdala is in charge – NONE OF US ARE
  • YET, we get really worked up about how our kids treat us when they are flipped – I GET IT – I live here too, I have teenagers that are normal teens and they flip and get nasty to me – just as when I flip I tend to get nasty too.
  • We are taking it TOO DAMN PERSONAL when they behavior IS NOT ABOUT US – their behavior is their level of emotional response coupled with the tools they have at their disposal – and when we are flipped, we’ve pretty much lost the tool box that is so accessible when we are in our rational brain.
  • Imagine…… you’ve had a really tough day. You’ve really worked hard to get all that needs to be done complete, you’ve cooked for everyone AND taken care of paying the bills, your kids have been a pain, but you’ve kept it together. And then, you see your oldest picking on your youngest. You lose it. You come completely unglued on your oldest. Blah blah blah, you slide into your flipped lid and you shame and blame and basically let your emotions run the show – the emotional freight train has pulled in and picked you up….
    • Some time passes and you get yourself together. You realize that maybe you don’t know the whole story of what was happening with your kids and maybe your oldest didn’t need the wrath that you delivered. You acknowledge your mistake and the way you treated her. You reconnect and work to repair the relationship. You may even do some reflecting on how you can set yourself up for success the next time you are caught up in this type of challenge. You work on your own practice for learning more tools to stay peaceful and present even when it’s hard to do.
    • Do you need a punishment? A consequence so that you won’t act like that next time? NO, that never would occur to you as helpful, and yet, how often do we impose this on our children???
  • Most of us who get stuck here have childhood stories of parents who ruled with an iron fist, who “wouldn’t tolerate” back talk, disrespect, sassiness. That modeling became ingrained into us and now we are finding ourselves confronted by a child who is falling apart and it feels personal. Our experience gets wrapped up in the childhood experience of having to follow the demands of our parents or else, the unresolved hurts from that time are triggered and that’s deeply painful and we grasp for control which looks like yelling, intimidation and punishment….
  • If this sounds familiar to you – please go see a therapist, because this is going to keep coming up inside your relationships until you get it healed. And if you don’t you will be passing on these same triggers to your kids and THEY will need to go to therapy. Free them from your issues, PLEASE.
  • They are doing the best they can with the tools they have in the moment, I promise.
  • So, what TO DO?
    • Talk about how it feels to have a flipped lid
    • Begin to identify the feelings/experiences that take you or them there
    • Brainstorm things that make you feel BETTER when you are noticing your lid flipping
    • Come up with a plan of action the next time the train shows up
    • Practice
    • Have compassion because this is HARD WORK
    • Teach/model/practice repair and reconnection.

 

Circling back….  This is about being effective and helpful. Meltdowns are not a character flaw, they are an indication that something has happened that we, or our kids, don’t have the tools to navigate in the moment.

 

It’s not about you.

 

So, this week, when you have a meltdown and are an asshole to your kids, model what it looks like to own it, “Wow, I really lost it and treated you badly. My emotions got the better of me.” And make it right, “I am so sorry, and I am going to pay more attention to when I am getting close to flipping out, and take care of me when I feel that tightness in my body happening.” Then bring it back to the message of love, “I love you so much.”

 

And when THEY have a meltdown and are assholes to you, show a little grace. The uncertainty of the world is IN OUR FACE right now and they only have so much capacity for keeping it together. Remember that it’s not about you. Support them in calming down, and then LATER, have a conversation about the experience of the meltdown – guiding them to connect to themselves and to you, and ultimately giving them the tools they need to repair.

 

Love you. We’ve got this.

::::

The Book, The Coaching

Joyful Courage is so much more than a podcast! I know that you love listening in every week AND I want to encourage you to dig deeper into the learning with me, INVEST in you parenting journey.

READ THE BOOK - Joyful Courage, Calming the Drama and Taking Control of Your Parenting Journey is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access to the tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child. Available both in book and audio book form → http://www.joyfulcourage.com/book

CONSIDER ONE ON ONE COACHING - The most POWERFUL of investments offered by Joyful Courage, one on one coaching allows for parents to really tease apart the current issues they are having with their child, while also developing a clear compass for guiding them in the direction they want to be going in. Coaching happens every other week, and is open for parents with kids 4 years old through the teen years. Go to my coaching page to book a free exploratory call and see if we are the right fit. → http://www.joyfulcourage.com/jccoaching

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

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