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Joyful Courage - A Conscious Parenting Podcast

Joyful Courage is a Conscious Parenting Podcast. Be inspired, entertained and educated as we navigate the challenges and celebrations of choosing to be a conscious parent. Interviews and solo shows will provide listeners with tools, strategies and inspiration that can be directly applied to their parenting journey.
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Now displaying: 2020
Jun 24, 2020

COMMUNITY IS EVERYTHING!

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook groups:

Live and Love with Joyful Courage
Joyful Courage for Parents of Teens

::::

SUPER FAM

Take that community vibe next level by joining the Joyful Courage Patreon community! For as little as $5/month you can support the podcast, and enjoy weekly FB lives from me every Monday - answering questions from the community and offering direct support and coaching, and every other week there is also a Podcast Recap discussion. --> www.patreon.com/joyfulcourage

::::

Thank you BETTER HELP!

This podcast is sponsored by Better Help - online counseling anytime, anywhere. → www.betterhelp.com/joyfulcourage

::::

Today is a solo show from me… And I am sharing some personal thoughts and plans for Joyful Courage and what to expect through the summer and into the fall.

What a wild first half of 2020

  • Covid 19
  • Quarantine
  • School from home
  • Personal struggles
  • Racial uprising….
    • Stay tuned for a way that you can support a powerful black woman owned biz in the coming weeks <3
  • Timid opening up of the country and approaching summer

I am taking a break from the podcast

  • Revisit my mission
    • Yes parenting, but how can it look so that I am also acknowledging/uplifting non-white voices? There are a LOT of white parenting educators – talk about Leslie’s post calling out white parent educators
    • Really get clear on what I want to bring you next fall
    • Tighten up my vision for Joyful Courage
  • Working on the Risky Behavior Mini Summit
    • Recording the interviews – AMAZING
    • Creating the systems
    • Working on the marketing
    • REGITRATION OPENS TODAY! YAY! joyfulcourage.com/rbms
  • Putting together another 6 week class
    • Actually LOVING teaching through zoom, the current class has parents from all over the US
  • Focusing on my clients
    • One on one coaching
    • Find out more at www.joyfulcourage.com/coaching
  • Focusing on my family
    • As you know….
      • Cancer
      • Teenagers

Hard to step away

  • Don’t want to let anyone down
  • Don’t want you to forget about me
  • Don’t want to lose this communication tool….

AND

:::

The Book, The Coaching

Joyful Courage is so much more than a podcast! I know that you love listening in every week AND I want to encourage you to dig deeper into the learning with me, INVEST in you parenting journey.

READ THE BOOK - Joyful Courage, Calming the Drama and Taking Control of Your Parenting Journey is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access to the tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child. Available both in book and audio book form → http://www.joyfulcourage.com/book

CONSIDER ONE ON ONE COACHING - The most POWERFUL of investments offered by Joyful Courage, one on one coaching allows for parents to really tease apart the current issues they are having with their child, while also developing a clear compass for guiding them in the direction they want to be going in. Coaching happens every other week, and is open for parents with kids 4 years old through the teen years. Go to my coaching page to book a free exploratory call and see if we are the right fit. → http://www.joyfulcourage.com/jccoaching

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

 

Jun 17, 2020

COMMUNITY IS EVERYTHING!

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook groups:

Live and Love with Joyful Courage
Joyful Courage for Parents of Teens

::::

Today’s guest is Vivek Patel. Vivek is a conscious parenting educator who works with families to help create more harmony and connection in their homes. He has dedicated his life to spreading awareness and supporting change in schools. He's worked with youth organizations teaching conflict resolution anti bullying and leadership through movement martial arts and dance. As a conscious parenting educator, he has written hundreds of articles and has 60 parenting videos, you can find his writing on Facebook, the meaningful ideas website and YouTube. We are discussing how to take current events and bring the learning into the home. Join us!

 

" Being anti-racist...It's a mindset that we look at the world through that we analyze the systems that we engage in with, that we listen to language with, and, and everything from media and advertising to government systems to educational systems, the correction system, the legal system, the financial system, the housing system, everything.”

“ From the micro to the macro, being willing to look at those things and see look for look at and look for the inequities, to be willing to see them inside yourself and and other people and the systems and the anti racist part of it is to be doing something to actively change it.”

“When we lift up the people that are oppressed, all of us benefit from it.”

 “Conscious parenting is cycle breaking”

 

What you’ll hear in this episode:

  • Why conscious parenting?
  • Vivek’s activism journey
  • What it means to be anti-racist
  • From micro to macro, reflecting on self and systems
  • The role of self-love and compassion
  • The power of coming together
  • Celebrating the discomfort
  • Opening ourselves up for better relationships and interactions
  • Our parenting relationship and our influence around topics of race
  • Moving away from perfectionism and embracing the practice of becoming anti-racist
  • Conscious parenting as cycle breaking
  • Should we shield our kids from the pain of the world?
  • Kids and fairness: leveraging their intuition towards acts of changemaking
  • Why you need to do your own work, face our own fears and where to start
  • Six relationships that drive change
  • Modelling anti-racism for our kids
  • Zooming in, zooming out, and condoning bad behavior
  • Modelling our use of power, how we engage with power and why it’s important
  • Control and consent in parenting

 

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

You know, activism contains both joy and pain. I've been doing activism for 30 years, like I said, and I think that it's the ability to embrace both of those things that makes it brings our power. A friend of mine recently asked "Vivek, how do I do all this self examination without being completely exhausted and in pain." and I said, "You can't really, we have to accept that part of this growth is part of the pain and then Can we find joy in embracing our pain? Can we find joy in embracing the whole of who we are? The pain of who we are the errors that we have, the mistakes that we make, you know, even you noticing that about the picture you had about the grandma, can you find joy in noticing that racist lens?” Maybe I'll say racial lens to soften a little bit.

 

 And so that's what I feel about, about joy. I think joy, one of my sayings is, I use the word happiness, but I think it applies the same one of my sayings is, "Happiness is not an emotion, it's a foundation. It's deeper, it's something deeper than the dualities that we experienced, the variety that we experienced. The connection with joy is something that's a connection with my deep self. It's what I call the "ocean self", you know, we're all waves on the ocean. And there's a Casey wave and a Vivek wave. 

 

I see all the different waves around. And I think that each of us as waves really are just different forms of the same ocean and so when I'm in touch with my ocean self, that's when I feel the most joy. And the ocean self can hold my pain and can hold the transitory type of joy.

 

 And then courage. I think courage is an inward journey and an outward journey simultaneously. I think courage is the inward journey of really knowing myself, of being able to face myself, love myself, and also be very, very honest with myself. And the outward journey is the choices I make in the world, what I choose to say, what I choose to think, what I choose to learn, how it's used to treat people. And what I choose to stand up for and who I choose to protect. 

 

I think that it's that kind of combining of the inward and outward journey simultaneously from the experience of knowing our ocean self and our wave self. So put all of that together and you have joyful courage.

 

Resources: 

You Are Racist video

Schoolclosures.org

FB Page – Meaningful Ideas, Gentle Parents Unite
Meaningfulideas.com – writing
You tube – Meaningful Ideas
Weekly podcast – Gentle parents Unite Podcast
Gentle Parenting Patreon – coaching, meditation for parents, social justice education, live on Thursdays

::::

Thank you BETTER HELP!

This podcast is sponsored by Better Help - online counseling anytime, anywhere. → www.betterhelp.com/joyfulcourage

:::

SUPER FAM

Take that community vibe next level by joining the Joyful Courage Patreon community! For as little as $5/month you can support the podcast, and enjoy weekly FB lives from me every Monday - answering questions from the community and offering direct support and coaching, and every other week there is also a Podcast Recap discussion. --> www.patreon.com/joyfulcourage

:::

The Book, The Coaching

Joyful Courage is so much more than a podcast! I know that you love listening in every week AND I want to encourage you to dig deeper into the learning with me, INVEST in you parenting journey.

READ THE BOOK - Joyful Courage, Calming the Drama and Taking Control of Your Parenting Journey is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access to the tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child. Available both in book and audio book form → http://www.joyfulcourage.com/book

CONSIDER ONE ON ONE COACHING - The most POWERFUL of investments offered by Joyful Courage, one on one coaching allows for parents to really tease apart the current issues they are having with their child, while also developing a clear compass for guiding them in the direction they want to be going in. Coaching happens every other week, and is open for parents with kids 4 years old through the teen years. Go to my coaching page to book a free exploratory call and see if we are the right fit. → http://www.joyfulcourage.com/jccoaching

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

Jun 10, 2020

COMMUNITY IS EVERYTHING!

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook groups:

Live and Love with Joyful Courage
Joyful Courage for Parents of Teens

:::

Solo show – last minute decision to wait on the conversation that I was going to air today….

Before we start, reminding you all that I have a PD Class on zoom beginning next Monday

  • 6 weeks
  • 5-7pm PST
  • Ages 5ish – 12ish
  • $150/household
  • joyfulcourage.com/6week pd
    • REGISTER
    • More info
    • A place to ask questions

Today I am going to talk about chores and allowance

There was a post from a mom in on of the Joyful Courage FB  groups a few weeks ago reflecting on how it was time for her 11 and 5 year old to begin chores and allowance. The comments were a range of advice, with many parents speaking into separating chores from allowance. I promised the group that I would speak into this on the podcast.

Before I do though, I want to say that you get to take this information and make it your own, right? You get to decide what is best for YOUR family when it comes to chores and allowance. I also acknowledge that being able to give our children and allowance isn’t something that everyone can do. Please listen for the underlying spirit instead of listening thinking there is a “right” way to do this.

Also, I want you to notice if you are listening though the filter of “my kids won/t…” or “what happens if they don’t…” or you will miss the message.

There is a level of significance and mattering that shows up when our kids are expected to be in contribution. Trust that. Trust them.

So chores – contributions/family work

  • So much online for age appropriate chores
  • They are enthusiastic when young although it may be a challenge for us
  • Less enthusiastic when older which is also challenging

We started when our kids were young and we have been through MANY different routines for family work. They have always been expected to take care of the kitchen after dinner, and help out around the house.

I have lived through the same pushback that everyone else gets, and I hold that “we all live here, we all take care of our home.” This is just what we do. When the kids moan or complain, I work hard not to get sucked in, instead say, “I know – there are other things I want to do right now too” or “what would help you in getting this done?”

Some kids more easy going than others

Have a plan, be explicit

Co-creating routines

  • Daily
  • Weekly
  • Family house cleaning party
  • Check in on how it’s working (family meeting)
  • Tweak as necessary

Inside the plan be explicit about what is a “completed job” and when it needs to be done by

Take time to train:

  • You do the task while child watches
  • You do the task together
  • Child does task while you watch
  • Child does the task independently

Fold this into the fabric of your family
Don’t be rigid
Ask for their ideas

Allowance – we don’t pay for chores…. Story about rowan and ian

“yeah but” – typically don’t need to threat or reward – and will be explicit “your jobs need to be done before you leave the house/jump on a screen/lunchtime/etc”

We don’t pay for chores.

We started giving the kids a small allowance when they were young so that they had money to learn to manage.

  • Save
  • Give
  • Spend

As they got older, their allowance increased and what we would pay for decreased

  • Time out in the world with friends
  • Haricuts
  • Cosmetics
  • Shoes (Ian is obsessed)

Not so much allowance that they could do whatever they wanted, just enough so that they would feel the tension and learn to “manage” their money.

There are bigger jobs around the house that we pay for – car washing/lawn mowing – but other than that, allowance is separate from chores.

Resources:

Amy McCreedy on Joyful Courage Eps 62 – Teaching our Kids Money Sense
The opposite of spoiled by Ron Lieber
Montessori guide to age appropriate chores (handout online)

Because I know you are thinking…. But what about when they don’t help out…??

Build relationship.
Build relationship.
Build relationship.

Create an agreement around chores:

“I have a problem and I need your help”

  • There is a lot to do and you need ot help out
  • Brainstorm a list of things to do around the house
  • This week, pick one a day
  • Thank you for following through OR I noticed you haven’t followed through, please get that done
  • Tweak as necessary

You’ve got this friend! Let me now what you put into practice and any questions or feedback that you have.

::::

Thank you BETTER HELP!

This podcast is sponsored by Better Help - online counseling anytime, anywhere. → www.betterhelp.com/joyfulcourage

:::

SUPER FAM

Take that community vibe next level by joining the Joyful Courage Patreon community! For as little as $5/month you can support the podcast, and enjoy weekly FB lives from me every Monday - answering questions from the community and offering direct support and coaching, and every other week there is also a Podcast Recap discussion. --> www.patreon.com/joyfulcourage

:::

The Book, The Coaching

Joyful Courage is so much more than a podcast! I know that you love listening in every week AND I want to encourage you to dig deeper into the learning with me, INVEST in you parenting journey.

READ THE BOOK - Joyful Courage, Calming the Drama and Taking Control of Your Parenting Journey is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access to the tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child. Available both in book and audio book form → http://www.joyfulcourage.com/book

CONSIDER ONE ON ONE COACHING - The most POWERFUL of investments offered by Joyful Courage, one on one coaching allows for parents to really tease apart the current issues they are having with their child, while also developing a clear compass for guiding them in the direction they want to be going in. Coaching happens every other week, and is open for parents with kids 4 years old through the teen years. Go to my coaching page to book a free exploratory call and see if we are the right fit. → http://www.joyfulcourage.com/jccoaching

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

Jun 3, 2020

COMMUNITY IS EVERYTHING!

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook groups:

Live and Love with Joyful Courage
Joyful Courage for Parents of Teens

:::

Today I am solo.

I have a heavy heart this week, and a short show. I know I promised something on chores and allowance but you will have to wait a few weeks for that.

This week I want to highlight a few shows that I have done in the past and offer up some resources to keep learning and growing as humans – because that is what my work si about – Joyful Courage is about embracing opportunities to grow, even when it’s messy and wobbly.

As someone with an audience that is largely white women, I am going to step into THIS opportunity to share some thoughts and steps to be better. I am heartsick over here as I reach out to my friends who are also people of color, letting thme know that I see them and I stand with them. I am heartsick all the time when I think about the conversations that they need to have with their children that I will never need to have with mine, because of the color of their skin. I am heartsick when I consider the fear they hold every time their partner or child leaves the house.

Enough.

And white women… we have power. We have so much power. My intention here is to invite you in to your own learning about your power, about your implicit bias, about the conditioning that continues to lead us all through a system that is designed to lift only some of us.

And I get it, where do we start? What do we do? It is uncomfortable, we don’t want to say the wrong thing, we don’t want to add to the hurt and the micro aggressions with our unintentional ignorance. But doing nothing and continuing to say nothing is not ok.

Time to speak up. To stand up. To learn, to be corrected when we get it wrong and take it with humility. To be uncomfortable. Because guess what? The black people in this country have been uncomfortable since the beginning. They have been beaten down, silenced, abused, ridiculed, traumatized and more – since the beginning. We can be in the growing pain of learning to be better.

Here are a few places to start.

I shared these podcasts on my social media this week – be sure to check them out:

 

The first conversation is with Jason Frelot from Kids and Race. He and I discuss the role of parenting in dismantling racism, understanding whit privilege and so much more. Jason is an activity in Seattle and has created programs for parents AND kids that cultivate “socially responsible and culturally aware children.” Listen: http://www.joyfulcourage.com/podcast/78

I would also like to share my conversation with Danielle Slaughter from Mamademics. Danielle is the mom of two boys and an academic. She writes a brutally honest blog called Mamademics and also offers powerful courses through her site, Raising and Advocate. Follow her, learn from her, support her work. Listen: http://www.joyfulcourage.com/podcast/151

And more recently I invited my friend, Yolanda Williams onto the podcast to discuss her work with the Parenting Decolonized Podcast and her powerful group for black families working towards conscious parenting, Conscious Parenting Time. Yolanda is a powerhouse in the intersection of race and parenting in America. Follow her, listen to her. Listen: http://www.joyfulcourage.com/podcast/223

IF you love consuming content through audio, here are the two books that I am working through:

White Fragility: Why It's So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism by Robin Diangelo

So You Want to Talk About Race by Ijeoma Oluo (Ijoma Aloo)

There are so many others out there as well – do your research and consume to learn.

Other podcasts that I would encourage you to subscribe to are:

Parenting Decolonized
Parenting and Politics
Codeswitch

SEEK OUT people to follow and learn from on SM – a few that I appreciate are:

Austin Channing Brown
Rachel Elizabeth Cargle
The Conscious Kid

And of course the people highlighted in the shows above.

Donate:

Here are 7 organizations to consider donating to AND I would find out what groups are active in your local area and show your support there as well -

Know Your Rights Camp
Showing Up For Racial Justice
Blackout Collective
NAACP
Black Lives Matter
Minnesota Freedom Fund
ACLU

We can do better people.

And if you want, join me every day for the first 10 days of June at 8amish on the Joyful Courage FB page for a short video supporting us all with living joyful courage in the context of current events.

Love you

::::

Thank you BETTER HELP!

This podcast is sponsored by Better Help - online counseling anytime, anywhere. → www.betterhelp.com/joyfulcourage

:::

SUPER FAM

Take that community vibe next level by joining the Joyful Courage Patreon community! For as little as $5/month you can support the podcast, and enjoy weekly FB lives from me every Monday - answering questions from the community and offering direct support and coaching, and every other week there is also a Podcast Recap discussion. --> www.patreon.com/joyfulcourage

:::

The Book, The Coaching

Joyful Courage is so much more than a podcast! I know that you love listening in every week AND I want to encourage you to dig deeper into the learning with me, INVEST in you parenting journey.

READ THE BOOK - Joyful Courage, Calming the Drama and Taking Control of Your Parenting Journey is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access to the tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child. Available both in book and audio book form → http://www.joyfulcourage.com/book

CONSIDER ONE ON ONE COACHING - The most POWERFUL of investments offered by Joyful Courage, one on one coaching allows for parents to really tease apart the current issues they are having with their child, while also developing a clear compass for guiding them in the direction they want to be going in. Coaching happens every other week, and is open for parents with kids 4 years old through the teen years. Go to my coaching page to book a free exploratory call and see if we are the right fit. → http://www.joyfulcourage.com/jccoaching

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

May 27, 2020

COMMUNITY IS EVERYTHING!

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook groups:

Live and Love with Joyful Courage
Joyful Courage for Parents of Teens

::::

SUPER FAM

Take that community vibe next level by joining the Joyful Courage Patreon community! For as little as $5/month you can support the podcast, and enjoy weekly FB lives from me every Monday - answering questions from the community and offering direct support and coaching, and every other week there is also a Podcast Recap discussion. --> www.patreon.com/joyfulcourage

::::

Thank you BETTER HELP!

This podcast is sponsored by Better Help - online counseling anytime, anywhere. → www.betterhelp.com/joyfulcourage

::::

Today’s guest is Leah Carrie, a sex and intimacy coach who helps women shed shame about their sexuality and communicate about what they really want in the bedroom rather than just tolerating what they're given. Her clients learn to embrace their sexuality no matter what it looks like. She is the host of the podcast Good Girls Talk About Sex. 

 

Sexual freedom is a subject that is deeply personal to Leah because she spent most of her life being a very good girl. Most of the sex she had was either boring or painful, but she endured it because she didn't know she was allowed to ask for anything different. Having taken her own journey to sexual freedom, she is now passionate about breaking the silence, fear and shame around women's sexuality and pleasure and redefining what it means to be a good girl. Join us!

" I discovered, not only is it okay to be as interested in sex as I've always been, but it's okay for sex to be pleasurable. And it's really, really okay for me to ask for what I want.”

“I had spent my whole life thinking that I was giving consent for all of the sex I had been having, because I wasn't saying no. It turns out that's not what consent means at all. Consent is active and enthusiastic.” 

“We're all so afraid of being judged.”

What you’ll hear in this episode:

  • The role of tantric massage
  • The meaning of consent
  • Sexual healing and sex work 
  • The criminalization of sex work 
  • How sex ed is approached in other countries
  • How to say and accept “no” 
  • Postpartum sex and expectations
  • Sex positive parenting
  • Quarantine touch deprivation

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

To me, it means figuring out what we really really want and asking for it. Courage is, I think, figuring out what we want. And being willing to admit that maybe somebody else is interested in giving to us and the joyful part of that is sharing it and believing that maybe we could get it. And I really don't want people to be walking around like I was for the first 42 years of my life, believing that I was just supposed to accept whatever I was given and I wasn't allowed to ask for anything more. And since I have learned a new way of being, my life has changed dramatically in the best possible ways. And so I want that for everyone.

Resources: 

Good Girls Talk About Sex
The Three Minute Game

Where to find:

Youtube@goodgirlstalk on FB | @goodgirlstalk on InstaFB GroupWebsiteTwitter

::::

The Book, The Coaching

Joyful Courage is so much more than a podcast! I know that you love listening in every week AND I want to encourage you to dig deeper into the learning with me, INVEST in you parenting journey.

READ THE BOOK - Joyful Courage, Calming the Drama and Taking Control of Your Parenting Journey is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access to the tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child. Available both in book and audio book form → http://www.joyfulcourage.com/book

CONSIDER ONE ON ONE COACHING - The most POWERFUL of investments offered by Joyful Courage, one on one coaching allows for parents to really tease apart the current issues they are having with their child, while also developing a clear compass for guiding them in the direction they want to be going in. Coaching happens every other week, and is open for parents with kids 4 years old through the teen years. Go to my coaching page to book a free exploratory call and see if we are the right fit. → http://www.joyfulcourage.com/jccoaching

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

 

May 20, 2020

COMMUNITY IS EVERYTHING!

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook groups:

Live and Love with Joyful Courage
Joyful Courage for Parents of Teens

::::

SUPER FAM

Take that community vibe next level by joining the Joyful Courage Patreon community! For as little as $5/month you can support the podcast, and enjoy weekly FB lives from me every Monday - answering questions from the community and offering direct support and coaching, and every other week there is also a Podcast Recap discussion. --> www.patreon.com/joyfulcourage

::::

Thank you BETTER HELP!

This podcast is sponsored by Better Help - online counseling anytime, anywhere. → www.betterhelp.com/joyfulcourage

::::

Ahhh, hello.

It’s been a couple weeks and I am so glad to be here with you, just the two of us. Life keeps lifing….  If you are in the US, quarantine keeps quarantining….  I have personally been in the practice of riding the waves of all the things over here…

Before I get into content over here… I want to shout out to my daughter Rowan! She is learning about coding and social media management and will be doing more of my Instagram posts in the future – be sure to head over there and show her a little love.

I also want to highlight my VERY FIRST REVIEW on itunes!!! A little over FIVE YEARS AGO I started this show (can you believe it’s been that long??) And my very first review came from a fellow podcaster – Lauren Fire. She wrote:

Lauren Fire, 05/29/2015
Passionate and inspiring podcast!

I love your passion for this topic, thanks for creating such great content and helping out parents! Welcome to the podcasting world! -Lauren Fire, Inspiring Mama Podcast

I am sharing this because I remember reading this review and it meant the world to me. Singe Lauren chimed in, over 100 of you have let me know what you think about the show through rating and reviewing on iTunes. I am really hoping that more of you write in. Reviews support the show in triggering iTunes to make it visible to ever more people looking for parenting support and inspiration. If you aren’t sure HOW to leave a review, head over to www.joyfulcourage.com/itunesreview and see a tutorial there to help you out.

Also, we have moved to Wednesday for release day!! Woohoo! Those of you on my email list were informed last week about this change. With all going on with my husbands health, this was a move I needed to make, thank you for understanding.

The last time I was solo with you all, I spoke into respect, and lid flipping, and striving for  doing what is effective, rather than thinking there is a right and wrong way….

Today I want to talk about beat up.

There tend to be two extreme ends of the spectrum…. THre are those of us who have a crazy ideal that we are trying to live up to – typically one where we don’t make any mistakes and show up perfect in all the roles we play. None of us can ever really get there, but we are striving for it. The self talk may sound like:

“I have to be more present with the kids.”

“I need to make more homecooked meals.”

“I’ve got to catch up on housecleaning/laundry/yardwork….”

“I’ve GOT to loose some weight…”

We are AWARE that there are steps we can take to move in the direction of the life we want to create, AND, when we aren’t taking the steps, or aren’t creating this perfect life, we collapse into defeat. Awareness is high, beat up is high. It’s a tough place to find ourselves.

Or there is the opposite extreme. There are those of us that are shooting from the hip all the time and if everyone else can’t get with the program, that is there problem. We don’t see why anyone needs to be in a parenting class, or read a book, or doing any of the self help stuff, because we see the world clearly through our lens and know what to do in any given situation.

We are the people who don’t take any ownership of our kids behavior. The question when our kids get into mischief is often “what do I have to do to you to get you to behave?”

Personal awareness is low. Beat up is low, unless you count the beat up we do to others who make life hard for us.

Now, I don’t imagine that there are a lot of people in the second group listening to my podcast, because you all know how invested I am in personal growth and how passionately I believe in the ways parents influence the behavior they see from their kids. But I think it is valuable to consider those two extremes.

I think MOST of us fall in the middle.

We might have an ideal when it comes to parenting and how we shoe up in the world, but it is more of a compass for the direction we want to be headed, not necessarily a destination that we can ever arrive at.

We get that life is uncertain and unpredictable, and how we respond to what shows up matters and influences the unfolding.

We see our kids as their own separate entities, yes, and when things start going sideways we take a step back to consider what we may be doing to contribute to how they are behaving. We try to remember that our children are on their own journey, that they belong to themselves, first and foremost, and we get to caretake for the first part.

We do the best we can, AND, we get that the house isn’t going to always be clean (and oh man it is so nice when it is), meals aren’t always perfect (yeah for take-out and meal kits), AND it is impossible to be present for our family 24/7.

We do the best we can.

Awareness is high, most of the time, and beat up?  Beat up is something that lives inside of awareness, meaning, when we go there, WE WORK TOWARDS RECOGNIZING THAT IT ISN’T USEFUL OR TRUE. We let go of the beat up. We move on. We make it right. We try something new next time.

I am going to give you an example of this….  Last night I became aware of something my husband did that sent me right into judgement and a feeling of loss of control. My experience first was surprise, then disappointment, then fear. My tummy was tight, my jaw was clenched, my shoulders became rigid, and I did what I always do when I feel that way. I went on attack.

What I wanted from my husband, if I am honest, was for him to tell me I was right. I was looking for some groveling, the kind of apology that sounds like, “babe, I am so sorry…” And if I am totally honest, I just wanted that so that I would know that he felt BAD and I still would have been angry.

The family was getting ready to take an evening walk, something that has only JUST started happening and I love it – love being together exploring the neighborhood – but I was too busy wanting to make my husband feel bad so I said, “I’m not going.”

For real. I had my own little teenage tantrum.

I was aware of what was happening. I was even aware that if I took the walk I would probably shift how I felt and get over it, but gosh darn it, I didn’t want to get over it. I needed him to KNOW the seriousness of his “mistake” and feel the pain.

So lame, I know, but I just couldn’t let it go. My ego mind was in control, egging me on, encouraging me to hold out ---- for what??? I don’t know, for someone to tell me I was right and he was wrong.

They got home and I was still in my room. I barely spoke to my husband, wouldn’t look at him, yelled at my son….  GAH. It was embarrassing, and yet I was totally swept up.

And when I look at it now, I wonder if holding on to the anger kept me from feeling the embarrassment of how I was acting? Maybe? By the time I woke up this morning I was totally over it. I thought about how I had behaved and I gave myself a huge eye roll.  I got up and made a warm drink and wrote in my journal on the patio. I wrote all about the experience of last night. And what I noticed was there was no beat up.

I was not beating myself up for letting my human-ness fly. Instead, I am aware that I could nave done better. I could have made a different choice. I could have let my anger go, joined my family on the walk, and released the grip my ego had on me. And I didn’t. And I now have the chance to make things right with my peeps. In fact, I already started.

My point is that we can have ideals to move towards, but the process of heading in their direction is messy. We are spiritual beings having a human experience and we will make lots of mistakes. Lets just settle into that reality. We will make lots of mistakes. Not because we are bad or worthless – but because we are HUMAN.

And what a gift to model this healthy messiness to our kids. They get to witness and learn from how we own and navigate our mistakes.

Lets keep our awareness high, friends, and the beat up low. Lets strive to be better, and embrace our imperfection. Let’s be ok with two steps forward, one step back – this is the dance of life. <3::::

The Book, The Coaching

Joyful Courage is so much more than a podcast! I know that you love listening in every week AND I want to encourage you to dig deeper into the learning with me, INVEST in you parenting journey.

READ THE BOOK - Joyful Courage, Calming the Drama and Taking Control of Your Parenting Journey is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access to the tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child. Available both in book and audio book form → http://www.joyfulcourage.com/book

CONSIDER ONE ON ONE COACHING - The most POWERFUL of investments offered by Joyful Courage, one on one coaching allows for parents to really tease apart the current issues they are having with their child, while also developing a clear compass for guiding them in the direction they want to be going in. Coaching happens every other week, and is open for parents with kids 4 years old through the teen years. Go to my coaching page to book a free exploratory call and see if we are the right fit. → http://www.joyfulcourage.com/jccoaching

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

 

May 13, 2020

COMMUNITY IS EVERYTHING!

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook groups:

Live and Love with Joyful CourageJoyful Courage for Parents of Teens

::::

SUPER FAM

Take that community vibe next level by joining the Joyful Courage Patreon community! For as little as $5/month you can support the podcast, and enjoy weekly FB lives from me every Monday - answering questions from the community and offering direct support and coaching, and every other week there is also a Podcast Recap discussion. --> www.patreon.com/joyfulcourage

::::

Thank you BETTER HELP!

This podcast is sponsored by Better Help - online counseling anytime, anywhere. → www.betterhelp.com/joyfulcourage

::::

I am so excited to welcome my guest, Dr. Habib Sadeghi.

Dr. Habib Sadeghi is the founder of Be Hive of Healing, an integrative medical center based in Los Angeles. He specializes in multi-disciplinary treatment for chronic illnesses that include osteopathic, anthroposophical, environmental, psychosomatic, family, and German new medicine, as well as clinical pharmacology.

He served as an attending Physician and Clinical Facilitator at UCLA-Santa Monica Medical Center and is currently a Clinical Instructor of Family Medicine at Western University of Health Sciences. Dr. Sadeghi is a regular contributor to Goop, CNN, BBC News and the Huffington Post, and is the publisher of the health and well-being journal, MegaZEN.

Dr. Sadeghi believes that most problems between parents and children (or indeed, between any two people) are a problem of CONNECTION. By building stronger connections with our children, we are able to move beyond the fighting, yelling, nagging, or other struggles, and into a place of mutual respect and understanding, where real problem-solving can occur. In turn, when we care for our own and our children's mental and emotional health and healing, we drastically reduce the potential for physical diseases, as the mind-body connection is so deep.

::::

The Book, The Coaching

Joyful Courage is so much more than a podcast! I know that you love listening in every week AND I want to encourage you to dig deeper into the learning with me, INVEST in you parenting journey.

READ THE BOOK - Joyful Courage, Calming the Drama and Taking Control of Your Parenting Journey is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access to the tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child. Available both in book and audio book form → http://www.joyfulcourage.com/book

CONSIDER ONE ON ONE COACHING - The most POWERFUL of investments offered by Joyful Courage, one on one coaching allows for parents to really tease apart the current issues they are having with their child, while also developing a clear compass for guiding them in the direction they want to be going in. Coaching happens every other week, and is open for parents with kids 4 years old through the teen years. Go to my coaching page to book a free exploratory call and see if we are the right fit. → http://www.joyfulcourage.com/jccoaching

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

 

May 5, 2020

COMMUNITY IS EVERYTHING!

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook groups:

Live and Love with Joyful Courage
Joyful Courage for Parents of Teens

::::

SUPER FAM

Take that community vibe next level by joining the Joyful Courage Patreon community! For as little as $5/month you can support the podcast, and enjoy weekly FB lives from me every Monday - answering questions from the community and offering direct support and coaching, and every other week there is also a Podcast Recap discussion. --> www.patreon.com/joyfulcourage

::::

Thank you BETTER HELP!

This podcast is sponsored by Better Help - online counseling anytime, anywhere. → www.betterhelp.com/joyfulcourage

:::

Hi! Welcome back…. Those of you that are new to the podcast I want to give you a warm welcome, I am so glad you are here. As the longtime listeners know, this show is part informative and educational, part deeply personal, and always authentic and, I hope, relatable. That is always my goal.

 

We are on a collective journey.

 

Good/ bad, right/wrong, winning/failing à how about effective/ ineffective?

  • Takes the judgment out
  • Allows us to know be in this role where we SHOULD know exactly what to do
  • Shifts us out of the idea that there IS a right thing to do

 

It’s all a grand experiment.

 

Shout out to my new group of parents who are doing PD with me through zoom. So excited to be in service…

 

What I notice:

  • I always encourage people to speak up
  • I prompt when I feel the energy shift
  • Common
    • Won’t work for my kid
    • I’m not her
    • It’s too late
    • Kids have to pay for their behavior

 

This last one is a big one. None of us want spoiled kids AND we all want to feel respected. So, letting go of their mischief when they are flipped is really challenging because this is when they are at their worst.

 

Let’s review the brain science

  • Brain in the palm of the hand review
  • THIS MEANS, they aren’t consciously aware of what they are doing/saying when the brain stem of the amygdala is in charge – NONE OF US ARE
  • YET, we get really worked up about how our kids treat us when they are flipped – I GET IT – I live here too, I have teenagers that are normal teens and they flip and get nasty to me – just as when I flip I tend to get nasty too.
  • We are taking it TOO DAMN PERSONAL when they behavior IS NOT ABOUT US – their behavior is their level of emotional response coupled with the tools they have at their disposal – and when we are flipped, we’ve pretty much lost the tool box that is so accessible when we are in our rational brain.
  • Imagine…… you’ve had a really tough day. You’ve really worked hard to get all that needs to be done complete, you’ve cooked for everyone AND taken care of paying the bills, your kids have been a pain, but you’ve kept it together. And then, you see your oldest picking on your youngest. You lose it. You come completely unglued on your oldest. Blah blah blah, you slide into your flipped lid and you shame and blame and basically let your emotions run the show – the emotional freight train has pulled in and picked you up….
    • Some time passes and you get yourself together. You realize that maybe you don’t know the whole story of what was happening with your kids and maybe your oldest didn’t need the wrath that you delivered. You acknowledge your mistake and the way you treated her. You reconnect and work to repair the relationship. You may even do some reflecting on how you can set yourself up for success the next time you are caught up in this type of challenge. You work on your own practice for learning more tools to stay peaceful and present even when it’s hard to do.
    • Do you need a punishment? A consequence so that you won’t act like that next time? NO, that never would occur to you as helpful, and yet, how often do we impose this on our children???
  • Most of us who get stuck here have childhood stories of parents who ruled with an iron fist, who “wouldn’t tolerate” back talk, disrespect, sassiness. That modeling became ingrained into us and now we are finding ourselves confronted by a child who is falling apart and it feels personal. Our experience gets wrapped up in the childhood experience of having to follow the demands of our parents or else, the unresolved hurts from that time are triggered and that’s deeply painful and we grasp for control which looks like yelling, intimidation and punishment….
  • If this sounds familiar to you – please go see a therapist, because this is going to keep coming up inside your relationships until you get it healed. And if you don’t you will be passing on these same triggers to your kids and THEY will need to go to therapy. Free them from your issues, PLEASE.
  • They are doing the best they can with the tools they have in the moment, I promise.
  • So, what TO DO?
    • Talk about how it feels to have a flipped lid
    • Begin to identify the feelings/experiences that take you or them there
    • Brainstorm things that make you feel BETTER when you are noticing your lid flipping
    • Come up with a plan of action the next time the train shows up
    • Practice
    • Have compassion because this is HARD WORK
    • Teach/model/practice repair and reconnection.

 

Circling back….  This is about being effective and helpful. Meltdowns are not a character flaw, they are an indication that something has happened that we, or our kids, don’t have the tools to navigate in the moment.

 

It’s not about you.

 

So, this week, when you have a meltdown and are an asshole to your kids, model what it looks like to own it, “Wow, I really lost it and treated you badly. My emotions got the better of me.” And make it right, “I am so sorry, and I am going to pay more attention to when I am getting close to flipping out, and take care of me when I feel that tightness in my body happening.” Then bring it back to the message of love, “I love you so much.”

 

And when THEY have a meltdown and are assholes to you, show a little grace. The uncertainty of the world is IN OUR FACE right now and they only have so much capacity for keeping it together. Remember that it’s not about you. Support them in calming down, and then LATER, have a conversation about the experience of the meltdown – guiding them to connect to themselves and to you, and ultimately giving them the tools they need to repair.

 

Love you. We’ve got this.

::::

The Book, The Coaching

Joyful Courage is so much more than a podcast! I know that you love listening in every week AND I want to encourage you to dig deeper into the learning with me, INVEST in you parenting journey.

READ THE BOOK - Joyful Courage, Calming the Drama and Taking Control of Your Parenting Journey is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access to the tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child. Available both in book and audio book form → http://www.joyfulcourage.com/book

CONSIDER ONE ON ONE COACHING - The most POWERFUL of investments offered by Joyful Courage, one on one coaching allows for parents to really tease apart the current issues they are having with their child, while also developing a clear compass for guiding them in the direction they want to be going in. Coaching happens every other week, and is open for parents with kids 4 years old through the teen years. Go to my coaching page to book a free exploratory call and see if we are the right fit. → http://www.joyfulcourage.com/jccoaching

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

Apr 28, 2020

COMMUNITY IS EVERYTHING!

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook groups:

Live and Love with Joyful Courage
Joyful Courage for Parents of Teens

::::

PARENTING WITH POSITIVE DISCIPLINE

Join me THIS THURSDAY for a 6 week parenting class that is designed to expand the dynamics of your home from irritation and disconnection to love and connection. The whole course will be delivered online and I know you will LOVE it.

Check it out – www.joyfulcourage.com/6weekpd

::::

SUPER FAM

Take that community vibe next level by joining the Joyful Courage Patreon community! For as little as $5/month you can support the podcast, and enjoy weekly FB lives from me every Monday - answering questions from the community and offering direct support and coaching, and every other week there is also a Podcast Recap discussion. --> www.patreon.com/joyfulcourage

::::

Thank you BETTER HELP!

This podcast is sponsored by Better Help - online counseling anytime, anywhere. → www.betterhelp.com/joyfulcourage

:::

Today’s guest is Bracha Kopstick . She is a registered dietician specializing in adolescent nutrition. She helps parents feel calm and confident with raising adolescence to have a positive relationship with food and their body. There's a lot of contradictory information about feeding kids but she clarifies and educates parents so that they can raise adolescents with a positive food relationship without the shame and guilt. Join us!

"Kids are starting to gain weight in their journey to adulthood. And not only is it not something to be afraid of, but this is necessary weight gain. And I really wish that parents would recognize that this is something that is so necessary and can accept that weight as not something negative, but as something that’s part of just growing and development.”

“Nourishing ourselves with food that is enjoyable and tastes good is something I think is really important.”

“Kids really thrive on predictability and knowing when they can expect to have food.”

“Food is so much more than just nutrition. It's about relationship.”

What you’ll hear in this episode:

  • Where kids encounter diet culture
  • Weight gain as part of puberty
  • How the concerns of parents can amplify the insecurities of their growing teens
  • What a balanced meal looks like
  • Nourishment and food as more than fuel
  • Balancing structure and freedom in guiding food choices
  • Meal scheduling - why it’s important
  • How often your teen should be eating
  • How to approach snacking
  • Cooking with kids
  • How parental body image impacts kids
  • Breaking through your body image issues
  • Parents’ roles in helping kids find peace with their food

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

It's having that courage to move away from our past, moving away from the mainstream media and culture messages around food and our body and moving towards a more joyful connection with ourselves with our kids and with our bodies and food in general.

Resources: Recipes on her website

Where to find Bracha: Website | Instagram 

::::

The Book, The Coaching

Joyful Courage is so much more than a podcast! I know that you love listening in every week AND I want to encourage you to dig deeper into the learning with me, INVEST in you parenting journey.

READ THE BOOK - Joyful Courage, Calming the Drama and Taking Control of Your Parenting Journey is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access to the tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child. Available both in book and audio book form → http://www.joyfulcourage.com/book

CONSIDER ONE ON ONE COACHING - The most POWERFUL of investments offered by Joyful Courage, one on one coaching allows for parents to really tease apart the current issues they are having with their child, while also developing a clear compass for guiding them in the direction they want to be going in. Coaching happens every other week, and is open for parents with kids 4 years old through the teen years. Go to my coaching page to book a free exploratory call and see if we are the right fit. → http://www.joyfulcourage.com/jccoaching

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

 

Apr 21, 2020

Hello Joyful Courage family – how are you today? I hope that your quarantine isn’t too overwhelming and that you are finding opportunity to choose into peace and connection amidst the chaos and uncertainty….

I wanted to show up here and let you know that I am taking this week off from recoding a podcast. For those of you who have been following, you know that my family is going through a new challenge that continues to unfold. I am choosing to use my energy to hold space for my family and the tasks that come with health challenges. I know you understand…

Many of you continue to reach out and send me love and well wishes – thank you! I have also had a lot of you ask what you can do, how you can help. With my husband out of work, I am looking for more ways to serve you while also supporting my family.

At the end of the month, I am running two 6 week Positive Discipline Parenting classes. They will both run April 30th through June 2nd. I am going to follow the format I use when facilitating a live class, but adapt it for zoom. I have chosen two times with the hope that one of them will work for you. There is an 8-10 PACIFIC class, as well as an 8-10 EASTERN class.

This workshop is for parents with school aged kids – 5-12. We will dig deep into PD theory, tools and strategies, as well as the practice of navigating the triggers that show up for each of us so that the tools and strategies are AVAILABLE to us when we need it the most.

If you are interested in learning more – go to www.joyfulcourage.com/6weekpd - my daughter and I created a funny video there, and you will find some FAQs, as well as buttons for registering. There is limited space, so get your registration in asap. Again, we start April 30th!

Much love to each of you – I will be back next week with an interview for you! Big love <3

Apr 14, 2020

COMMUNITY IS EVERYTHING!

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook groups:

Live and Love with Joyful Courage
Joyful Courage for Parents of Teens

::::

SUPER FAM

Take that community vibe next level by joining the Joyful Courage Patreon community! For as little as $5/month you can support the podcast, and enjoy weekly FB lives from me every Monday - answering questions from the community and offering direct support and coaching, and every other week there is also a Podcast Recap discussion. --> www.patreon.com/joyfulcourage

::::

Thank you BETTER HELP!

This podcast is sponsored by Better Help - online counseling anytime, anywhere. → www.betterhelp.com/joyfulcourage

:::

I am so excited to welcome my guest, Dona Bumgarner!

Dona is a life coach for frustrated moms who are exhausted living in a culture that doesn’t support them well, which can lead to feeling very out of control of their own time and energy. In her work, Dona helps mothers re-engage with their own desires and design a mothering style and family life that feels authentic to their personal values and goals. She believes that when parents have their needs met, they have more energy and patience to engage with their children in healthy and productive ways.

Today we are going to discuss how to recover space for ourselves after our family has weathered a crisis that may have caused us to put everything on hold.

Where to find Dona:

Website | Facebook | Instagram | Pinterest

:::

The Book, The Coaching

Joyful Courage is so much more than a podcast! I know that you love listening in every week AND I want to encourage you to dig deeper into the learning with me, INVEST in you parenting journey.

READ THE BOOK - Joyful Courage, Calming the Drama and Taking Control of Your Parenting Journey is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access to the tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child. Available both in book and audio book form → http://www.joyfulcourage.com/book

CONSIDER ONE ON ONE COACHING - The most POWERFUL of investments offered by Joyful Courage, one on one coaching allows for parents to really tease apart the current issues they are having with their child, while also developing a clear compass for guiding them in the direction they want to be going in. Coaching happens every other week, and is open for parents with kids 4 years old through the teen years. Go to my coaching page to book a free exploratory call and see if we are the right fit. → http://www.joyfulcourage.com/jccoaching

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

 

Apr 7, 2020

COMMUNITY IS EVERYTHING!

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook groups:

Live and Love with Joyful Courage
Joyful Courage for Parents of Teens

::::

SUPER FAM

Take that community vibe next level by joining the Joyful Courage Patreon community! For as little as $5/month you can support the podcast, and enjoy weekly FB lives from me every Monday - answering questions from the community and offering direct support and coaching, and every other week there is also a Podcast Recap discussion. --> www.patreon.com/joyfulcourage

::::

Thank you BETTER HELP!

This podcast is sponsored by Better Help - online counseling anytime, anywhere. → www.betterhelp.com/joyfulcourage

:::

Today is a SOLO SHOW and I am off the cuff – sharing deeply from what is currently alive for me.

Listen in as I tease apart and work towards making sense of living with uncertainly.

:::

SEX ED FOR PARENTS OF TEENS!

Enrollment is STILL OPEN through Sunday. You can still get access to all of the interviews – learn more about this offer and register now:
www.joyfulcourage.com/sems

:::

The Book, The Coaching

Joyful Courage is so much more than a podcast! I know that you love listening in every week AND I want to encourage you to dig deeper into the learning with me, INVEST in you parenting journey.

READ THE BOOK - Joyful Courage, Calming the Drama and Taking Control of Your Parenting Journey is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access to the tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child. Available both in book and audio book form → http://www.joyfulcourage.com/book

CONSIDER ONE ON ONE COACHING - The most POWERFUL of investments offered by Joyful Courage, one on one coaching allows for parents to really tease apart the current issues they are having with their child, while also developing a clear compass for guiding them in the direction they want to be going in. Coaching happens every other week, and is open for parents with kids 4 years old through the teen years. Go to my coaching page to book a free exploratory call and see if we are the right fit. → http://www.joyfulcourage.com/jccoaching

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

 

Mar 31, 2020

COMMUNITY IS EVERYTHING!

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook groups:

Live and Love with Joyful Courage
Joyful Courage for Parents of Teens

::::

SUPER FAM

Take that community vibe next level by joining the Joyful Courage Patreon community! For as little as $5/month you can support the podcast, and enjoy weekly FB lives from me every Monday - answering questions from the community and offering direct support and coaching, and every other week there is also a Podcast Recap discussion. --> www.patreon.com/joyfulcourage

::::

Thank you BETTER HELP!

This podcast is sponsored by Better Help - online counseling anytime, anywhere. → www.betterhelp.com/joyfulcourage

:::

My guest today is Cynthia Klein.

Cynthia is an Educator, Coach, Speaker, and Author. Through her work, Cynthia helped parents of children from age five to 30.

Through a strong desire to create a great relationship with her own child, Cynthia’s journey to developing herself as a parent began early on. By building Bridges 2 Understanding and cooperation rooted in mutual respect, she was able to achieve the connection she longed for with her teenage daughter.

Cynthia understands the challenges of parenting and provides solutions that are unique, effective, individualized, and enduring. You can achieve results that will change the course of your relationship with your children and your family’s dynamic now and for generations to come.

Cynthia’s education includes a B.A. in Psychology, Training and Human Resource Development Certificate, California and New Mexico teaching credentials, numerous parent education certificates, and life lessons gained from raising a successful daughter who values her mom’s opinion.

Her book is titled, Ally Parenting: A Non-Adversarial Approach to Transform Conflict Into Cooperation.

"It's all about still having your authority in your power, doing it in a way that is respectful.”

“What do I feel, think or do differently to get a different response?”

“You can’t control your children. You can only influence.” 

 

What you’ll hear in this episode:

  • The difference between hard and soft power and leadership and control
  • Building a foundation to prepare for challenges ahead.
  • When kids complain about limits
  • Why it starts with changing yourself first
  • Why you need to ask yourself who owns the problem
  • Problem solving roles: director, collaborator, or supporter
  • Building emotional connection first 
  • Some of the ways that parents show up as adversaries in their relationship with their kids
  • The think/feel/do cycle
  • Moving past the victim mindset 
  • What being a collaborator means 
  • Timing your conversations 
  • How to stop blocking communication
  • The power of writing things down 
  • What happens when we make assumptions vs approach with curiosity
  • Helping your kids feel heard 
  • Soliciting ideas in problem solving 
  • Making a plan together and instituting a trial phase 
  • What to do when your plan doesn’t roll out the way you expected 
  • Using empathy to redirect 

 

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

It was interesting with this question, what came up for me is I find parenting especially teens and young adults scary, because my daughter was bullied and because of that she had all these girls turned against her and she was traumatized for many, many, many years, many years. And so she did a lot of challenging risky behavior and so I had to feel a lot of fear. And for me to feel that fear, and to realize that that's fear for now. And then for me to put that fear aside, because to be able to look through my child's current scary behavior, to look at her potential, instead of instead of the actions at that moment what she was doing, because to believe in her that right now she's doing these things because of her lack of belief in herself. And I think having that feeling about her made her always be able to call me when things were really rough and they got pretty darn scary. But because of that, that I see as my courage, to have that courage and still find joy amongst the fear to not make that everything what I was feeling, to still find the joy and love with her, which made it so she could talk to me and connect with me. And at last, starting probably her late 20s, she kind of got it all together.

 

Resources: 

Ally Parenting: A Non Adversarial Approach To Transform Conflict Into Cooperation

 

Where to find Cynthia: 

Bridges2understanding.com

Facebook

LinkedIn

Twitter

Instagram

:::

SEX ED FOR PARENTS OF TEENS!

Enrollment is OPEN NOW – learn more about this offer and register now:
www.joyfulcourage.com/sems

:::

Mental Health Mini Summit Forever Access

If you missed the mini summit OR are just looking to be able to go back to the powerful interviews that happened there, YOU CAN! The mini summit is available for purchase!

Simply go to www.joyfulcourage.com/mhms4evr

:::

The Book, The Coaching

Joyful Courage is so much more than a podcast! I know that you love listening in every week AND I want to encourage you to dig deeper into the learning with me, INVEST in you parenting journey.

READ THE BOOK - Joyful Courage, Calming the Drama and Taking Control of Your Parenting Journey is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access to the tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child. Available both in book and audio book form → http://www.joyfulcourage.com/book

CONSIDER ONE ON ONE COACHING - The most POWERFUL of investments offered by Joyful Courage, one on one coaching allows for parents to really tease apart the current issues they are having with their child, while also developing a clear compass for guiding them in the direction they want to be going in. Coaching happens every other week, and is open for parents with kids 4 years old through the teen years. Go to my coaching page to book a free exploratory call and see if we are the right fit. → http://www.joyfulcourage.com/jccoaching

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

Mar 24, 2020

COMMUNITY IS EVERYTHING!

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook groups:
Live and Love with Joyful CourageJoyful Courage for Parents of Teens

::::

SEX ED FOR PARENTS OF TEENS!

Enrollment is OPEN NOW – learn more about this offer and register now:
www.joyfulcourage.com/sems

::::

Thank you BETTER HELP!

This podcast is sponsored by Better Help - online counseling anytime, anywhere. → www.betterhelp.com/joyfulcourage

::::

Hey listeners!!

I am recording this Sunday, it will go live on Tuesday – and I can’t not talk about Covid 19, the coronavirus – because it is absolutely right here, right now, and the reality for the world right now.

I want to start with whoa. I mean, whoa right? This is a weird and wild time. We are facing something that few of us have ever experienced before – the news, the leadership, the unknown – it is all right there.

Dr. Shefali, author and conscious parenting guru called this time a chiropractic spiritual realignment. I have been listening a lot to Dr. Shefali, she has been live streaming so much goodness through her FB page and her group, “Superpowered: Transform Anxiety into Resilience.”

I love her take on the world because she speaks so much into being with impermanence, being with uncertainty.

Because ---- impermanence and uncertainty aren’t new – you all have been listening to me talk about this for the last six months and beyond as I navigate all the fun with my teens. I know you are in your own practices, because you let me know! I get emails nearly every day from listeners that reach out to let me k now that my story is their story, that they are in the muck with their kids and they feel so good to know they are not alone….

You aren’t alone. ALL OF US live in daily uncertainty. We never know how things are going to turn out, although MANY of us live under the illusion that we do,  under the illusion that we can control the events of our lives…. Now, we have influence, of course, but control? Yeah, no. We ALL have the unexpected show up in our lives – good, bad and ugly – we make plans, we cross our finders, we do our do, and what happens happens, right?

I have been fascinated by listening to people share about how there isn’t any MORE uncertainty because of the corona virus – it just feels that way because we have been under the impression that we know what is going to happen, we had our routines, we had our rhythm, we knew what to expect each day. But this pandemic has yanked that comfy security blanket away and we have no choice but to stare down uncertainty – and oh man, ITS SO FLIPPING UNCOMFORTABLE!!!!

Sigh.

Ok, so I am here to help.

Yes, it’s uncertain, and yes, we have kids to raise and jobs to try and do fro home and bills to pay and oh man they all eat so much!!!

I reached out to the members of my patreon group and asked them what their biggest challenges are in this new normal.

Here is some of what they shared:

Audrey, mama to 4 year old shared:

Challenges: keeping my fear and anxiety under wraps. They can show up as irritability and impatience. Also, never having a break because there’s no adult to relieve me. My 4 year old complaining anytime I take time for myself or the meals I’m making (they’re lacking creativity).

Gratitude: extra time to do art with her. All the outside time with her when the weather allows. The fact that my mom is taking us seriously and being very careful. That I have really awesome neighbors in case I need some thing. That I saved all the old cloth wipes and the wet bag from when I cloth diapered, in case I really can’t get TP.

I love that Audrey mentions how HER fear and anxiety can show up as irritability and impatience, I am ABSOLUTELY noticing this with myself as well. And it’s funny, I am not in a panic and tell myself I’m not anxious, and yet, the anxious energy is still manifesting in my short (ish) temper with my son, sorry Ian.

This is super key:

  • How are we taking care of ourselves?

  • What are we doing to release our fears/worries?

    • Meditation – some of your fave people are offering live streams every day

    • Journaling

  • Yoga – Fightmaster yoga 90 day fix

    • Be in nature – LISTEN TO NATURE

We have no choice – we have to get creative and take care of ourselves. Slow down. Well, we have no choice but to slow down do we, now is the time to create some new habits in taking care of ourselves.

Kristin, mama to 3 boys, 9, 11, 13 shared:

Challenges: school is like medicine for my kid with ADHD and my other child with anxiety.. without it they are really struggling and I'm struggling to stay afloat and healthy in my responses. I'm finding gratitude in that I know this is going to teach us to get back to the basics and to find joy in simple pleasures.

Yes! Love that Kristin brings up “School is like medicine” for her kids – all the more useful to create a rhythm/routine to your days. I am not talking about the color coded routines that have been floating around FB and IG – although if that is working for you great! I am talking about working with your child to CO-CREATE routines for this time together. When are they getting up? What time if breakfast and are they helping to cook it? (yes! They should!) what are you all focused on during the morning between breakfast and lunch? What is happening at lunch, another great time for the kids to contribute!! What is happening between lunch and dinner? Where is there learning time? What is learning time for you? What does that mean? Do your kids have teachers that have sent home work? Online? IF yours are little – how are you PLAYING? Because this is where they learn – through play.  Create a rhythm, try it for a week, tweak it as needed after that first week.

Symone, mama to a 15 and 17 year old wrote:

Challenges: trying to not over analyze ever move my youngest is making - is her lack of interest in most things including doing online school, going to slide into the big depression she was in at the end of last year? Not being able to look forward to going back to Australia in August if flights are still cancelled- will it push her over the edge?

Gratitude- so thankful we still have FaceTime and internet to feel connected with friends and family. Also grateful for every glimmer of interest in doing something with us outside of their rooms!

Yes! I Love the gratitude here. It IS so easy to slide into the what ifs – what if we trust that our kids are going to be just fine, even if they aren’t super motivated to do their online school? What if we remember that one day will will look back at “that one time when there was a global pandemic” and see that while it made an impact in our lives, the disruption to academics was the least of our worries.

This is an amazing time to take some lessons from our homeschooling and unschooling friends…. What do your kids want to learn about? What are they curious about? What can you study – you don’t need to go anywhere when you have the internet. AND acknowledging my privilege in having the internet. But really – let them lead!!

Heidi, mama to an 11 year old and an 8 year old, and long time client and friend wrote:

Some of the things I think about can be viewed as both/and. Grateful to be working from home And it can be a challenge as this is new for many to navigate And I recognize that some people do not even get this as an option. Grateful for time & space for things to slow down, enjoy little things, recognize when kids ask for my attention and when sometimes I have not been as present as I could be. And it can be challenging to try and figure out how one day we were with other people and now we are not.

We do not live in an area/neighborhood so we do not organically see others outside unless we go to people. So far we haven’t even gone to visit grandma & grandpa across the lake and so far the kids haven’t wondered too much about this.. though I know that other little cousins are visiting them today. I try to reframe social distancing with physical distancing.. and still, this is so hard to wrap my heard around for a long period of time. can we eventually go hang out and be firm on that when we do so we will respect each other and stay 6 ft away from each other. This is all new. I am a hugger! :)

For home school, I am grateful that my kids will be able to help navigate this for themselves once they have information from their teachers next week- AND I am not a teacher. My son has had a great year, will this impact him? My daughter struggles in math and this has been a big year with a new math curriculum. How will this impact her? For me, I am grateful for having been practicing Positive Discipline, and my work with you, Casey to have that as a foundation for me & my family- we actively have family meetings, routines.. that this is all practice not perfection. My kids each have a white board and are in creation of helping to make their own routine. - which I thought was cool to see. as often when I make a routine it is like, ugh and an eye roll. The word of encouragement I try to lean into is to allow space for Flexibility.

Yes, yes, yes to FLEXIBILITY!!! And I love how Heidi speaks into the things she already has in place that are supporting the whole family during this time – routines and family meetings.

And speaking of family meetings….  I have recently revamped my Family Meeting Ecourse, which is 6 emails over 6 weeks that support families in creating this new, and super powerful routine. I am making it available FOR FREE for families that are ready to go next level with it. I have also added some other resources to a webpage to support you due to the context we currently find ourselves in.

If you are interested, go to www.joyfulcourage.com/corona

Family meetings, routines, self care. THIS is the foundation we NEED to be present and flexible during this time – to be WITH the uncertainty that we are staring down.

Finally, Melissa, mama of three wrote:

Challenges: similar to others, I have struggled with not having space/time away from my kids! I'm trying to juggling homeschooling all 3 because they thrive when learning in a structured way.

Gratitudes: my neighborhood that has really risen to the occasion by offering each other support. Also I am taking this as an opportunity to reassess our priorities. For instance, if none of us miss swimming lessons, why were we ever doing them?! Why don't we always go for walks / play games etc ?

YES – love this message of simplifying our lives!!! Reassessing what is important. You know who is loving this pandemic – MOTHER EARTH. She can breathe again. Her waters in many places are running clear. We humans have been on this crazy consumer roller coaster and this whole thing is forcing us to STOP.

And the opportunities that exist when we are forced to stop and slow down? Time together. Time to soothe, to tend, to BE. Slow down.

Big thanks for my patrons for all their contributions to this particular show – I made the ask this morning and so many jumped in to share about their experiences….

If you are interested in becoming a patron, it’s super easy! Just go to www.patreon.com/joyfulcourage and sign up to be a part of the Super Fam. You’ll get to join our FB group where I do weekly lives on Mondays and Podcast recaps on Fridays. And starting this month (tomorrow, yesterday J ) I am going to do a monthly “office hours” on zoom where parents can show up and get some coaching from me. Check it out – www.patreon.com/joyfulcourage

AND, to get your hands on the FREE resources I have available for you all right now – go to www.joyfulcourage.com/corona -

Don’t forget – the Sex Ed for Parents of Teens is happening April 6th – 10th. Cost is $29 until the day we start, then it will jump to $49 – enroll now – you don’t want to miss it. The guests are fantastic, the conversations are relevant and useful, you’ll get a gorgeous ezine with all of the content from the interviews inside…. So good. Sign up now at www.joyfulcourage.com/sems -

All the links I’ve mentioned are in the show notes.

I love you all – stay healthy! Stay home! Wash your hands!!!

I will be back next week with an interview for you all <3

::::

SUPER FAM

Take that community vibe next level by joining the Joyful Courage Patreon community! For as little as $5/month you can support the podcast, and enjoy weekly FB lives from me every Monday - answering questions from the community and offering direct support and coaching, and every other week there is also a Podcast Recap discussion. --> www.patreon.com/joyfulcourage

:::

The Book, The Coaching

Joyful Courage is so much more than a podcast! I know that you love listening in every week AND I want to encourage you to dig deeper into the learning with me, INVEST in you parenting journey.

READ THE BOOK - Joyful Courage, Calming the Drama and Taking Control of Your Parenting Journey is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access to the tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child. Available both in book and audio book form → http://www.joyfulcourage.com/book

CONSIDER ONE ON ONE COACHING - The most POWERFUL of investments offered by Joyful Courage, one on one coaching allows for parents to really tease apart the current issues they are having with their child, while also developing a clear compass for guiding them in the direction they want to be going in. Coaching happens every other week, and is open for parents with kids 4 years old through the teen years. Go to my coaching page to book a free exploratory call and see if we are the right fit. → http://www.joyfulcourage.com/jccoaching

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

Mar 17, 2020

COMMUNITY IS EVERYTHING!

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook groups:

Live and Love with Joyful Courage
Joyful Courage for Parents of Teens

::::

SUPER FAM

Take that community vibe next level by joining the Joyful Courage Patreon community! For as little as $5/month you can support the podcast, and enjoy weekly FB lives from me every Monday - answering questions from the community and offering direct support and coaching, and every other week there is also a Podcast Recap discussion. --> www.patreon.com/joyfulcourage

::::

"Don't be passive Don't be apathetic, don't hold still, keep moving forward and get feisty and proactive.”

“Even on bad days there are good things. But don't hold still, don't wait for this or that to happen before you start living your life.”

“You're just gonna die waiting. Stop waiting and just do what you can now.”

“It's amazing how life can change when you do get proactive.”

“What's familiar to us is criticizing ourselves and not giving ourselves enough credit and focusing on the things we did wrong or didn't accomplish.”

“One thing that's helped me is just realizing in the moment when they're really struggling, is that the only thing harder than raising a teenager is being a teenager.”

 

What you’ll hear in this episode:

  • Why you shouldn’t wait
  • How Oprah discovered Kristina
  • Why we need to get uncomfortable with self-criticism
  • Why you need to write Ta-da lists instead of To Do lists
  • Maintaining perspective about things that didn’t get done
  • Making a habit of personal growth
  • Empowering our kids to do things for themselves without taking over
  • Having compassion for our kids
  • Creating space for sharing and connection in your relationship with your kids
  • Searching for love in your marriage
  • Love as a daily choice
  • Why asking for help is important

 

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

It means being willing to be uncomfortable. We kind of touched on it earlier and just dipping your toe and maybe even jumping in to something that seems so scary but you're doing it because you know it will lead to something better so often you know where we're waiting for somebody to send us joy, waiting for someone to knock on our door and give us joy and really to reach joy. I think it does take courage. So I love the name of your podcast because to me, courage leads to joy. 

 

Resources: 

“Hold On, But Don't Hold Still: Hope And Humor From My Seriously Flawed Life.”

 

Where to find Kristina: 

KristinaKuzmic.com

Kristina Kuzmic on Facebook

Kristina Kuzmic on Instagram

Kristina Kuzmic on Twitter

Kristina Kuzmic on Youtube

:::::

Thank you BETTER HELP!

This podcast is sponsored by Better Help - online counseling anytime, anywhere. → www.betterhelp.com/joyfulcourage

:::

My guest today is Kristina Kuzmic.

Thirteen years ago, Kristina was a broke and defeated mother of two; recently divorced; juggling jobs and sleeping on the floor next to her kids. She never imagined that a lo-fi cooking show she pieced together to reach other moms in the trenches would get Oprah’s attention.

Today, she speaks directly to her 2.8 million Facebook followers in honest, funny parenting videos on topics from “Mind your own Motherhood” to a satirical PSA “4 Reasons women should NEVER breastfeed in public.” Her star is rapidly rising, and she recently took her message of acceptance and resilience on the road to 22 sold-out cities.

Her witty, knowing, and sympathetic voice is captured on the page in her first book HOLD ON, BUT DON’T HOLD STILL: Hope and Humor from My Seriously Flawed Life.

:::

SEX ED FOR PARENTS OF TEENS!

Enrollment is OPEN NOW – learn more about this offer and register now:
www.joyfulcourage.com/sems

:::

Mental Health Mini Summit Forever Access

If you missed the mini summit OR are just looking to be able to go back to the powerful interviews that happened there, YOU CAN! The mini summit is available for purchase!

Simply go to www.joyfulcourage.com/mhms4evr

:::

The Book, The Coaching

Joyful Courage is so much more than a podcast! I know that you love listening in every week AND I want to encourage you to dig deeper into the learning with me, INVEST in you parenting journey.

READ THE BOOK - Joyful Courage, Calming the Drama and Taking Control of Your Parenting Journey is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access to the tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child. Available both in book and audio book form → http://www.joyfulcourage.com/book

CONSIDER ONE ON ONE COACHING - The most POWERFUL of investments offered by Joyful Courage, one on one coaching allows for parents to really tease apart the current issues they are having with their child, while also developing a clear compass for guiding them in the direction they want to be going in. Coaching happens every other week, and is open for parents with kids 4 years old through the teen years. Go to my coaching page to book a free exploratory call and see if we are the right fit. → http://www.joyfulcourage.com/jccoaching

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

Mar 10, 2020

COMMUNITY IS EVERYTHING!

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook groups:

Live and Love with Joyful Courage
Joyful Courage for Parents of Teens

::::

SEX ED FOR PARENTS OF TEENS!

Enrollment is OPEN NOW – learn more about this offer and register now:
www.joyfulcourage.com/sems

::::

Thank you BETTER HELP!

This podcast is sponsored by Better Help - online counseling anytime, anywhere. → www.betterhelp.com/joyfulcourage

::::

Today is a solo show – woop woop!

Being in a mindful relationship…

  • What is mindfulness?
  • Why is it important on the parenting journey?
  • Why is this important in life?

I went to a mindful couples workshop with my husband this weekend

  • Why did we go?

Morning of…

  • How I did my work when it was hard to do

Modeling setting intention

Letting go of being attached to the experience of my husband

  • Why this is relevant to our kids and parenting and life

Setting the context with how I showed up and what I was willing to own

Offering lots of loving support, acknowledgement, options

  • While also leaning in and inviting vulnerability – speaking into the elephants in the room, making things explicit

Learning processes for deeper listening and communication

  • SO MUCH like PD
    • Connect before correct/redirect
    • Positive Intent
    • Looking for solutions not blame
    • The iceberg
    • Process over product –
      • Relationship is everything!!!
      • Took the trainer aside to share….

One of the processes reminded me so much of the Family Meeting, but instead of using the model for the family, you use it as a couple.

  • Safe space for venting about a few things that rubbed you wrong
  • A useful place for problem solving
    • I would add time to celebrate each other before getting into it….
  • One of our “issues” is talking about money – ben makes most of it, I budget and try to save it. This is a hard one for us to discuss without having clear goals that are the boss.
  • Come together to have a vision
  • What is this going to take
  • Weekly check ins on how we are doing

I also have some amazing clients that are such an inspiration to me.

  • Super intentional with checking in on relationship
  • Super articulate in how they are celebrating each other

20 years later…. It takes work

  • Awareness that we are in an ebb
  • Willingness to do something about it

Kristen Bell – “I will be with Dax on the porch at 80” – we can get through anything

So yeah, tend to your relationships – we talk so much about our relationship with our teens and younger kids here – equally if not more important is our relationship with our partners.

Hope you are feeling inspired!!

::::

SUPER FAM

Take that community vibe next level by joining the Joyful Courage Patreon community! For as little as $5/month you can support the podcast, and enjoy weekly FB lives from me every Monday - answering questions from the community and offering direct support and coaching, and every other week there is also a Podcast Recap discussion. --> www.patreon.com/joyfulcourage

:::

The Book, The Coaching

Joyful Courage is so much more than a podcast! I know that you love listening in every week AND I want to encourage you to dig deeper into the learning with me, INVEST in you parenting journey.

READ THE BOOK - Joyful Courage, Calming the Drama and Taking Control of Your Parenting Journey is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access to the tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child. Available both in book and audio book form → http://www.joyfulcourage.com/book

CONSIDER ONE ON ONE COACHING - The most POWERFUL of investments offered by Joyful Courage, one on one coaching allows for parents to really tease apart the current issues they are having with their child, while also developing a clear compass for guiding them in the direction they want to be going in. Coaching happens every other week, and is open for parents with kids 4 years old through the teen years. Go to my coaching page to book a free exploratory call and see if we are the right fit. → http://www.joyfulcourage.com/jccoaching

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

Mar 3, 2020

COMMUNITY IS EVERYTHING!

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook groups:

Live and Love with Joyful Courage
Joyful Courage for Parents of Teens

::::

Thank you BETTER HELP!

This podcast is sponsored by Better Help - online counseling anytime, anywhere. → www.betterhelp.com/joyfulcourage

::::

Today’s guest is Yolanda Williams. Conscious parenting is really close to her heart, and she knows what it feels like to grow up without a voice and with violence as a consequence. Raising a black child in a world filled with white supremacy can seem insurmountable at times but she firmly believes that conscious parenting is activism against racism. Yolanda is raising a carefree child to be her authentic self, unafraid to use her voice to stand up to oppression with unshakable confidence and self love. Yolanda wants to help teach other parents to do the same. She's the co founder of Conscious Parenting Time, whose mission it is to decolonize minds by teaching the art of conscious parenting to raise intellectually spiritually and socially free black children. She's also the host of Parenting Decolonized, a podcast on a mission to shine the light on how colonization has impacted the black family structure and what to do about it. Join us!

 

"I'm not here to make anybody else feel comfortable with the truth of racism, but it's supposed to make you uncomfortable.”

“If I feel like you are genuinely asking a question and I don't feel like you're trying to center yourself when you ask this question, I will politely answer it. But my job is not to educate white people on racism. That's not the job of any person of color.“

“Being White and Whiteness are two separate things. I don't think people really realize that because whiteness is a construct, just like race is.”

“Our culture does judge black parents more harshly. Period.”

“Our kids may already be targeted just because of their race, nothing that you can do is going to stop a bad police officer or a bad teacher or someone who is just a racist from being that person.”

“I'm not going to change who I am to make white people comfortable.”

What you’ll hear in this episode:

  • The difference between being White and Whiteness
  • How the Black parenting experience is different
  • The subtle and not so subtle ways that parenting has been colonized
  • Post-Traumatic Slave Syndrome
  • The risks and challenges that come with parenting from a place of fear
  • Parenting a Black child as a Black person vs as a White person
  • Authoritarian parenting attitudes and dignity double-binds
  • Belonging and significance in the face of racism
  • Internalized racism - what it is and what it looks like
  • How early unconscious biases show up in education
  • Cultural pride as a way to insulate against racism 
  • Curating an environment that centres cultural pride
  • The importance of Black history
  • Being intentional about decolonization
  • The Black Panther and their policy 

 

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

You know, when I think of joyful courage it makes me think of this quote by Audrey Lord and it's like the basis for everything I do. She said, "Raising black children, female and male in the mouth of a racist, sexist suicidal dragon is perilous and chancy. If they cannot love and resist at the same time, they will probably not survive." So that's like love and resistance. Yes, what joyful courage is for me. I mean, I have to have courage to change the status quo. And I have to model what joy and unconditional love looks like inside my home. Because home is where security and safety is and love. And as scary as being a black parent is sometimes I can't tell you how much joy it gives me to be raising my daughter in this revolutionary way and to watch her grow into an amazing black woman. Like, it gives me a lot of joy. I love that.

 

Resources: 

Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome 

Amazon Prime documentaries by Henry Louis Gates, Jr.

 

Where to find Yolanda: 

Parenting Decolonized Podcast 

Parenting Decolonized Facebook Page

Conscious Parenting Time Facebook Page

@cptime Instagram

::::

SUPER FAM

Take that community vibe next level by joining the Joyful Courage Patreon community! For as little as $5/month you can support the podcast, and enjoy weekly FB lives from me every Monday - answering questions from the community and offering direct support and coaching, and every other week there is also a Podcast Recap discussion. --> www.patreon.com/joyfulcourage

:::

The Book, The Coaching

Joyful Courage is so much more than a podcast! I know that you love listening in every week AND I want to encourage you to dig deeper into the learning with me, INVEST in you parenting journey.

READ THE BOOK - Joyful Courage, Calming the Drama and Taking Control of Your Parenting Journey is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access to the tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child. Available both in book and audio book form → http://www.joyfulcourage.com/book

CONSIDER ONE ON ONE COACHING - The most POWERFUL of investments offered by Joyful Courage, one on one coaching allows for parents to really tease apart the current issues they are having with their child, while also developing a clear compass for guiding them in the direction they want to be going in. Coaching happens every other week, and is open for parents with kids 4 years old through the teen years. Go to my coaching page to book a free exploratory call and see if we are the right fit. → http://www.joyfulcourage.com/jccoaching

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

Feb 25, 2020

COMMUNITY IS EVERYTHING!

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook groups:

Live and Love with Joyful Courage
Joyful Courage for Parents of Teens

::::

Thank you BETTER HELP!

This podcast is sponsored by Better Help - online counseling anytime, anywhere. → www.betterhelp.com/joyfulcourage

::::

Hey all!

Today is a solo show… I am so honored to be here with you.

Today is all about connection and relationship (again, I know, but really, it’s what’s up).

  • Broken record in the conversations I am having in the teen group as well as the super fam
  • Relationship relationship relationship
  • Not as a “strategy”
  • When relationship is offer, disconnection si present, its like we are on unstable ground
  • Belonging and significance
  • Being seen and heard
  • Feeling valued/ Feeling safe– routines/agreements/family meetings
    • At their heart they are a connection activity

::::

SUPER FAM

Take that community vibe next level by joining the Joyful Courage Patreon community! For as little as $5/month you can support the podcast, and enjoy weekly FB lives from me every Monday - answering questions from the community and offering direct support and coaching, and every other week there is also a Podcast Recap discussion. --> www.patreon.com/joyfulcourage

:::

Mental Health Mini Summit Forever Access

If you missed the mini summit OR are just looking to be able to go back to the powerful interviews that happened there, YOU CAN! The mini summit is available for purchase!

Simply go to www.joyfulcourage.com/mhms4evr

:::

The Book, The Academy, The Coaching

Joyful Courage is so much more than a podcast! I know that you love listening in every week AND I want to encourage you to dig deeper into the learning with me, INVEST in you parenting journey.

READ THE BOOK - Joyful Courage, Calming the Drama and Taking Control of Your Parenting Journey is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access to the tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child. Available both in book and audio book form → http://www.joyfulcourage.com/book

CHECK OUT THE ACADEMY - The Joyful Courage Academy is a five week online program for parents of teens who are ready to nurture a deeper, stronger relationship with their child. Emphasis is on developing/strengthening your parenting foundation, increasing connection,  communication and boundaries, and creating sustainability along the way. Registration for the Winter Academy is open from February 12 - March 1st. Space is limited. → http://www.joyfulcourage.com/jcapt

CONSIDER ONE ON ONE COACHING - The most POWERFUL of investments offered by Joyful Courage, one on one coaching allows for parents to really tease apart the current issues they are having with their child, while also developing a clear compass for guiding them in the direction they want to be going in. Coaching happens every other week, and is open for parents with kids 4 years old through the teen years. Go to my coaching page to book a free exploratory call and see if we are the right fit. → http://www.joyfulcourage.com/jccoaching

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

Feb 18, 2020

COMMUNITY IS EVERYTHING!

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook groups:

Live and Love with Joyful Courage
Joyful Courage for Parents of Teens

SUPER FAM

Take that community vibe next level by joining the Joyful Courage Patreon community! For as little as $5/month you can support the podcast, and enjoy weekly FB lives from me every Monday - answering questions from the community and offering direct support and coaching, and every other week there is also a Podcast Recap discussion. --> www.patreon.com/joyfulcourage

::::

Thank you BETTER HELP!

This podcast is sponsored by Better Help - online counseling anytime, anywhere → www.betterhelp.com/joyfulcourage

:::

My guest today is Sarah Rosensweet.

Sarah is a Peaceful Parenting leader and coach. Peaceful parenting is an approach that uses kind, firm limits with lots of empathy. Parents are in charge but give their kids the support they need to meet their expectations. She emphasizes connection and supports parents in prioritizing relationship with our kids.

Sarah knows that our relationship is the most effective way we can influence our kids.

Sarah and I spend time today discussing some of the biggest take-aways from The Self Driven Child – a powerful resource written by William Stixrud and Ned Johnson.

What you’ll here on this episode:

  • What has changed for Sarah as a coach as her kids have entered the teen years
  • The Self Driven Child
    • There can only be one driver on the train – that is your child
    • We need to manage our own parental anxiety
    • We get to trust that our children know what they need
    • Sarah shares a personal story about her son and his report card and how she used what she learned from the Self Driven Child
  • Our response matters
  • Allowing our kids to make decisions about their own life
  • Letting our own limited yet intense beliefs about all the possibilities get in the way
  • “We care so much that they don’t have to.”
  • We have to trust our kids to learn from all of their choices
  • It’s hard to give up the drivers seat
  • Resiliency comes from surviving difficult things
  • Our teens are moving with a limited bank of experiences
  • Using curiosity is powerful and ask our teens if they want to hear our opinion
  • We can be involved, without controlling their every move
  • The sweet spot
  • Middle ground for encouraging teens to nurture relationship
  • Stay Connected to Your Teenager by Michael Riera
  • Loosening up the limits
  • “It’s your call…”
  • Casey shares her story about her teen daughter dropping out of school
  • The number one thing teens need from their parents….

Where to find Sarah:

Website | Facebook | Peaceful Parenting with Teenagers

:::

Mental Health Mini Summit Forever Access

If you missed the mini summit OR are just looking to be able to go back to the powerful interviews that happened there, YOU CAN! The mini summit is available for purchase!

Simply go to www.joyfulcourage.com/mhms4evr

:::

The Book, The Academy, The Coaching

Joyful Courage is so much more than a podcast! I know that you love listening in every week AND I want to encourage you to dig deeper into the learning with me, INVEST in you parenting journey:

READ THE BOOK - Joyful Courage, Calming the Drama and Taking Control of Your Parenting Journey is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access to the tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child. Available both in book and audio book form → http://www.joyfulcourage.com/book

CHECK OUT THE ACADEMY - The Joyful Courage Academy is a five week online program for parents of teens who are ready to nurture a deeper, stronger relationship with their child. Emphasis is on developing/strengthening your parenting foundation, increasing connection,  communication and boundaries, and creating sustainability along the way. REgistration for the Winter Acadmy is open from February 12 - March 1st. Space is limited. → http://www.joyfulcourage.com/jcapt

CONSIDER ONE ON ONE COACHING - The most POWERFUL of investments offered by Joyful Courage, one on one coaching allows for parents to really tease apart the current issues they are having with their child, while also developing a clear compass for guiding them in the direction they want to be going in. Coaching happens every other week, and is open for parents with kids 4 years old through the teen years. Go to my coaching page to book a free exploratory call and see if we are the right fit. → http://www.joyfulcourage.com/jccoaching

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

 

 

Feb 11, 2020

COMMUNITY IS EVERYTHING!

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook groups:

Live and Love with Joyful Courage
Joyful Courage for Parents of Teens

SUPER FAM

Take that community vibe next level by joining the Joyful Courage Patreon community! For as little as $5/month you can support the podcast, and enjoy weekly FB lives from me every Monday - answering questions from the community and offering direct support and coaching, and every other week there is also a Podcast Recap discussion. --> www.patreon.com/joyfulcourage

::::

Thank you BETTER HELP!

This podcast is sponsored by Better Help - online counseling anytime, anywhere. → www.betterhelp.com/joyfulcourage

:::

Today is a solos show - YAY!

Coming off of the mental health mini summit… I am reminded time and time again about the importance of creating an environment that support our kids-teens in being who they are. A space that feels emotionally safe.

We hold the container, we set the tone, right?

Before we can do that we really need to decide what it is that we want to create? 

Speaking with clients about this, before a big conversation or event, I will aks them, well, what is it you want to create? What is most important for you that your child receives?

Strategies for creating a home environment that nurtures safety

  • Routines/Consistency/dependable structure 
  • Asking permission/Being curious
  • Being available/Non judgmental
  • Validate their experience
  • Own your stuff
  • Trust that your kids ARE thinking about what is best for them
  • Power of perspective - 3 bs and the outside observer, remembering the iceberg

Therapy - 

One of the things that has been really useful for me lately that I am digging into through therapy is identifying key times in my life where I felt lost, isolated, and really pulled away from my parents…. And if I could go back that that girl to tell her what she needs to hear….  Some of what has come up has been:

This must be really hard, it must feel really confusing
You are ok just as you are, you are enough and worthy of love
I am here for you

:::

Mental Health Mini Summit Forever Access

If you missed the mini summit OR are just looking to be able to go back to the powerful interviews that happened there, YOU CAN! The mini summit is available for purchase!

Simply go to www.joyfulcourage.com/mhms4evr

:::

The Book, The Academy, The Coaching

Joyful Courage is so much more than a podcast! I know that you love listening in every week AND I want to encourage you to dig deeper into the learning with me, INVEST in you parenting journey:

READ THE BOOK - Joyful Courage, Calming the Drama and Taking Control of Your Parenting Journey is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access to the tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child. Available both in book and audio book form → http://www.joyfulcourage.com/book

CHECK OUT THE ACADEMY - The Joyful Courage Academy is a five week online program for parents of teens who are ready to nurture a deeper, stronger relationship with their child. Emphasis is on developing/strengthening your parenting foundation, increasing connection,  communication and boundaries, and creating sustainability along the way. REgistration for the Winter Acadmy is open from February 12 - March 1st. Space is limited. → http://www.joyfulcourage.com/jcapt

CONSIDER ONE ON ONE COACHING - The most POWERFUL of investments offered by Joyful Courage, one on one coaching allows for parents to really tease apart the current issues they are having with their child, while also developing a clear compass for guiding them in the direction they want to be going in. Coaching happens every other week, and is open for parents with kids 4 years old through the teen years. Go to my coaching page to book a free exploratory call and see if we are the right fit. → http://www.joyfulcourage.com/jccoaching

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

 

Feb 4, 2020

Joyful Courage: Calming the drama and taking control of your parenting journey AUDIOBOOK is available!! I am confident that the Joyful Courage audiobook will be a supportive companion as you ride it out with your kids – full of stories and tools that will connect you with self and others, the audiobook will be something you can listen to over and over and over again. Follow Joyful Courage on FB and IG, and sign up for my weekly newsletter at www.joyfulcourage.com/join

::::

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook groups:
Live and Love with Joyful Courage
Joyful Courage for Parents of Teens

::::

I am so excited to welcome Sara Dean to the Joyful Courage Podcast. Sara is the creator and host of the Shameless Mom Academy Podcast, a top rated podcast with over 2 million downloads. Her biggest passion is helping women own their space.  After enduring a long infertility journey, and then a full blown identity crises following the birth of her son, Sara took her background in psychology/health/ wellness and rebuilt her identity – one step at a time. Today, Sara motivates and inspires women to stop shrinking and start growing in every aspect of their lives.  She is on a mission to inspire women and moms, in particular, to live bigger, bolder, braver #everydamnday.

"I realized over time that I wanted to be having conversations about helping women take up space, rather than always trying to shrink in the space they existed in.”

“Perfect is paralyzing.”

“If you're in perfectionism, there's no momentum.”

“We need to give ourselves permission to feel in big ways and to be vulnerable with those feelings.”

“It's okay to cry, but suffering in silence is the most surefire way to destroy yourself.”

 

What you’ll hear in this episode:

  • The role of mindset 
  • Outcome versus process goals 
  • Moms and worthiness
  • Why perfect sucks
  • Perfectionism, procrastination and high achieving women
  • How perfectionism robs you of momentum
  • Doing B- work
  • The role of routine and structure
  • Creating mental freedom
  • Giving ourselves permission to feel
  • Intuition and finding the lessons in the chaos
  • Learning to sit in discomfort
  • Finding gratitude in hard moments and hard phases
  • The universality of challenges and trauma 
  • Why women suffer in silence

 

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

So for me, joyful courage means finding joy in being uncomfortable. So I think about courage around, like, embracing discomfort and intentionally doing uncomfortable things. That, for me, is how I frame courage for myself. And last year, I made myself pickup skiing even though I'm terrified of heights and chairlifts, and speed and I think that chair lifts are like death traps. But I made myself take up skiing because we wanted my son to ski. And so I learned how to ski. And it took a ton of courage, pretty much didn't want to do it at all, ever, every time I went up to the mountain, but I also got up there every week and was like, “Oh my gosh, look how beautiful it is up here.” There were so many rewards from it. And I also had not pushed my body, as someone who's been in fitness for many years, I hadn't pushed my body in a new physical endeavor in a really long time. And I forgot how rewarding that was to find strength in something physical, something new that was physical. And so there was just all of these rewards that came out of it that I did not expect that had nothing to do with like, actually skiing down the mountain that became kind of like “Oh, cool. And I also get to ski down the mountain on top of all these other things.” So yeah, so I would say, finding the rewards in discomfort and then seeking that and then moving forward seeking more discomfort, which I'm, like, stubbornly seeking discomfort.

Resources: 

Tenacious Mamas Mastermind

The Life Coach School Podcast

The Miracle Morning

Where to find Sarah: 

Shameless Mom Academy Podcast

Shameless Mom Academy

Shameless Mom Conference

Shameless Mom Facebook Group

:::

Adolescent Mental Health Mini Summit

 February 3rd – February 7th – 5 interviews over 5 days to deep dive into some of the mental health challenges that are showing up with teens.

There is a lot happening right now for teens, and it can feel scary. When mental health challenges show up in our family, we tend to isolate ourselves, adding to the stress of what we are going through.

I created this mini summit for parents with teens who are having a hard time, AND for their friends, family and supporters. Lifting the understanding of the entire VILLAGE makes a huge impact on the individual. Get yourself registered now!

www.joyfulcourage.com/mhminisummit

:::

PATREON – Joyful Courage Super FAM

For $5/month Joyful Courage Super FAM patrons get to be a part of a sweet little private FB community where I show up every Monday for a Q and A, and beginning in January 2020, I will be showing up every FRIDAY to tease apart the weekly podcast episode. You want to be a part of this – it is a fabulous way to give back.

Go to www.patreon.com/joyfulcourage

:::::

GET THE BOOK!

Joyful Courage: Calming the drama and taking control of your parenting journey

This book is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access to the tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child.

 

THE BOOK IS READY FOR YOU TO BUY– Go to www.joyfulcourage.com/book

 

Thank you to everyone that has been so encouraging on this journey!!!  I appreciate you!!!!

 

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

Jan 28, 2020

Joyful Courage: Calming the drama and taking control of your parenting journey AUDIOBOOK is available!! I am confident that the Joyful Courage audiobook will be a supportive companion as you ride it out with your kids – full of stories and tools that will connect you with self and others, the audiobook will be something you can listen to over and over and over again. Follow Joyful Courage on FB and IG, and sign up for my weekly newsletter at www.joyfulcourage.com/join

::::

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook groups:
Live and Love with Joyful Courage
Joyful Courage for Parents of Teens

::::

SOLo SHOW

Interviewed for the positive parenting conference by Sumitha Bhandarkar from afineparent.com and she wanted to interview me about my book – fun to remember that I wrote a book!

Deep dove into the three Bs.

Then last night I had my first of 6 live parenting classes here in Bellingham.

Being vs doing

Theory, belonging and significance

Power of perceptions

Humans are social beings – everything in the context of relationship

Iceberg

  • why is it important to keep in mind?
    • HALT
    • Problem we see is a solution/response to a problem we don’t know about
    • Mistaken beliefs about self/others/world
  • Why is it hard to remember to consider the iceberg?
    • BECAUSE WE ARE USUALLY PISSED ABOUT WHAT IS HAPPENING AT THE TIP!!

WE HAVE OUR OWN ICEBERGS!!

At the tip of our iceberg is our emotional/instinctive response to the behavior we are seeing right?

And what is under the surface?????

  • HALT!!
  • Feelings of defeat and beat up about mistakes we made…
  • Conditioning/baggage from our own experiences

Ahhhhh – so many icebergs!!

So we are wired to connect….  And remember what Dan and Tina shared in EPS 215 --- the four s’s – seen, safe, soothed, secure. THIS IS WHAT OUR KIDS NEED, and isn’t it what we need too?

  • We get to learn to offer this up to ourselves

Back to the three Bs – this is one tool to support us in creating the four S’s for ourselves, so that we can then offer them up for our kids – show up better, attuned, connected, loving.

Lets play with the 3 Bs…. I am going to guide you through them, while also explaining deeper the purpose and power of each B….

Breath

The breath is an tool that directly effects the nervous system – and when we are in fight or flight, you can bet our nervous system is working overtime -rapid heart beat, tension, we are full of adrenaline…

Attending to breath allows for a settling in…. a slowing down… an opening….

Body

Riding the breath into the body in search of any leftover tension….  Allow the breath to soften the body, the small muscles in the face, the neck, the shoulders….

We want to soften the body, open the body so that we can soften and open the mind….

Balcony

Once you feel yourself soften, find your balcony seat, imagine that you can lift up and out of your body and look down at your experience, as if you are watching a show from a balcony seat – you are accessing your outside observer. The part of yourself that is separate from your experience, knowing that you are having an experience…

From this place, this outside observer place, look at yourself through the lens of compassion, through the lens of love….  What is happening under your iceberg? Can you be a nonjudgmental observer? What happens when you get curious about your experience….?

Breath body balcony – the 3 Bs.

This is a practice. One that becomes useful when we choose into it over and over again. It becomes useful when we become familiar with it.

We have to practice.

This is a tool that is useful in the heat of the moment, if we’ve practiced.

So here is your homework – and shout out to any of my BTC parents who are listening in, this is their homework this week too:

Set some alarms/reminders on your phone.

  • 3/day
  • Do the practice when you are prompted
    • Work, grocery store, bedtime…..
  • Do the practice intentionally

:::

Adolescent Mental Health Mini Summit

February 3rd – February 7th – 5 interviews over 5 days to deep dive into some of the mental health challenges that are showing up with teens.

There is a lot happening right now for teens, and it can feel scary. When mental health challenges show up in our family, we tend to isolate ourselves, adding to the stress of what we are going through.

I created this mini summit for parents with teens who are having a hard time, AND for their friends, family and supporters. Lifting the understanding of the entire VILLAGE makes a huge impact on the individual. Get yourself registered now!

www.joyfulcourage.com/mhminisummit

:::

PATREON – Joyful Courage Super FAM

For $5/month Joyful Courage Super FAM patrons get to be a part of a sweet little private FB community where I show up every Monday for a Q and A, and beginning in January 2020, I will be showing up every FRIDAY to tease apart the weekly podcast episode. You want to be a part of this – it is a fabulous way to give back.

Go to www.patreon.com/joyfulcourage

:::::

GET THE BOOK!

Joyful Courage: Calming the drama and taking control of your parenting journey

This book is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access to the tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child.

THE BOOK IS READY FOR YOU TO BUY– Go to www.joyfulcourage.com/book

Thank you to everyone that has been so encouraging on this journey!!!  I appreciate you!!!!

 

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

Jan 21, 2020

Joyful Courage: Calming the drama and taking control of your parenting journey AUDIOBOOK is available!! I am confident that the Joyful Courage audiobook will be a supportive companion as you ride it out with your kids – full of stories and tools that will connect you with self and others, the audiobook will be something you can listen to over and over and over again. Follow Joyful Courage on FB and IG, and sign up for my weekly newsletter at www.joyfulcourage.com/join

::::

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook groups:
Live and Love with Joyful Courage
Joyful Courage for Parents of Teens

::::

 

Today’s guest is Alyssa Blask Campbell. Alyssa has her Master's of Education in Early Childhood. She is a leading expert in emotional development speaking to people around the world. She is a podcast host for Voices of Your Village and the CEO of Seed and Sew. Alyssa has been featured As an emotional development expert and publications such as the Washington Post, Kids VT and Family Education. After co creating the CEP method, which she's going to tell us all about, she researched it across the US and co authored a book on it scheduled for publication next year. Alyssa is deeply passionate about building emotional intelligence in children, stating that it's never too early or too late to start, thank goodness. Alyssa shows up as approachable and welcomes people into her village to get support at all ages and stages shame free.  Join us!

 

"In order to be able to do that social piece, the kindness, the respect the empathy, the social awareness components, we have to know how to navigate the self awareness and self regulation first.”

“Sometimes times it's really just getting down to what is our feeling about what they're feeling or experiencing.”

“I believe that it's our job to find the calm, not their job to get calm for us.”

“It's safe for me to feel this because it's not going to last forever.”

 

What you’ll hear in this episode:

  • The difference between social and emotional development
  • The role of self awareness and self regulation
  • Coping mechanisms versus coping strategies
  • The five phases of emotion processing
  • Coping mechanisms as numbing agents
  • Fine motor activities as processing tools
  • Changing habits one at a time
  • Reflective Practice - what it is and how it works
  • Finding the calm for your kids
  • Mirror Neurons and the neurology of calm
  • Addressing bias as a step in the parenting education journey 
  • Taking care of your physical health so you can self-regulate
  • Allowing yourself to feel
  • Recognizing feelings
  • Empathizing and connecting vs noticing
  • Helping your kids feel felt
  • Finding security in your feeling
  • Yale research on anxiety in kids
  • The relationship between anxiety and fear
  • Problem solving and conflict resolution
  • Identifying when you’re ready for problem solving
  • What makes Voices of Your Village Podcast awesome

 

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

I think for me joyful courage is the ability to step in to the fear and the unknown. In that pursuit or desire of getting back to the calm, easy, joy, if you will, like when we have those tools to process the hard stuff, when we're courageous enough to do this work to build our self awareness and to put the mirror up to ourselves and not just to our kiddos. When we are courageous enough to do that, then we get to live with more joy and calm and peace.

 

Resources: 

Free Emotional Coaching Guide

 

Where to find Alyssa:

Facebook

Instagram

Voices of Your Village Podcast

 

 

 

PATREON – Joyful Courage Super FAM

 

For $5/month Joyful Courage Super FAM patrons get to be a part of a sweet little private FB community where I show up every Monday for a Q and A, and beginning in January 2020, I will be showing up every FRIDAY to tease apart the weekly podcast episode. You want to be a part of this – it is a fabulous way to give back.

 

Go to www.patreon.com/joyfulcourage

 

:::::

 

GET THE BOOK!

 

Joyful Courage: Calming the drama and taking control of your parenting journey

 

This book is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access to the tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child.

 

THE BOOK IS READY FOR YOU TO BUY– Go to www.joyfulcourage.com/book

list, if you haven’t already.  Sign up at www.joyfulcourage.com/join

 

Thank you to everyone that has been so encouraging on this journey!!!  I appreciate you!!!!

 

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

Jan 14, 2020

Joyful Courage: Calming the drama and taking control of your parenting journey AUDIOBOOK is available!! I am confident that the Joyful Courage audiobook will be a supportive companion as you ride it out with your kids – full of stories and tools that will connect you with self and others, the audiobook will be something you can listen to over and over and over again. Follow Joyful Courage on FB and IG, and sign up for my weekly newsletter at www.joyfulcourage.com/join

::::

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook groups:
Live and Love with Joyful Courage
Joyful Courage for Parents of Teens

::::

Today is a solo show! I am sharing about what is happening in the Joyful Courage community these next few weeks:

  • Adolescent Mental Health Mini Summit

www.joyfulcourage.com/mhminisummit

  • Podcast Recap LIVES added to the Patreon community

www.patreon.com/joyfulcourage

Other topics that I am speaking into:

  • Resentment on the journey
  • Making self care happen
  • Being in choice
  • And making choices that allow us to let go
  • Being a model
  • Transformation starts with us

How are you showing up for your family??

:::::

GET THE BOOK!

Joyful Courage: Calming the drama and taking control of your parenting journey

This book is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access to the tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child.

THE BOOK IS READY FOR YOU TO BUY– Go to www.joyfulcourage.com/book

Thank you to everyone that has been so encouraging on this journey!!!  I appreciate you!!!!

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Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

Jan 7, 2020

Joyful Courage: Calming the drama and taking control of your parenting journey AUDIOBOOK is available!! I am confident that the Joyful Courage audiobook will be a supportive companion as you ride it out with your kids – full of stories and tools that will connect you with self and others, the audiobook will be something you can listen to over and over and over again. Follow Joyful Courage on FB and IG, and sign up for my weekly newsletter at www.joyfulcourage.com/join

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Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook groups:
Live and Love with Joyful Courage
Joyful Courage for Parents of Teens

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Today’s guests are Dr. Dan Siegel and Dr. Tina Bryson. Dan is an internationally acclaimed author, award winning educator and child psychiatrist. He is currently a Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at the UCLA School of Medicine, where he also serves as a co investigator at the Center For Culture, Brain And Development, and co director of the Mindful Awareness Research Center. Dan co authored some of our favorite parenting books, including The Whole Brain Child, No Drama Discipline, and The Yes Brain. With the other guest joining us today, he also wrote Brainstorm: The Bible for Parents of Teens, Parenting From The Inside Out and Aware, which came out the summer of 2018 and he came on to discuss that book with me. 

 

Dr. Tina Bryson is the other guest that we get to hear from today. She is the co author with Dan Segal of three New York Times bestsellers soon to be four and is the Executive Director of the Center for Connection in Pasadena, California. Tina is also a pediatric and adolescent, psychotherapist, she keynotes conferences, and conducts workshops for parents, educators and clinicians all over the world. There is so much more I could add to the bios of both of these guests I could truly go on and on. They're here today to share about their latest book, The Power of Showing Up: How Parental Presence Shapes Who Our Kids Become, and How Their Brains get Wired.  Join us!

 

"One of the best ways for us to predict how well a kid turns out is by looking at this research from decades and decades and across many cultures that says that the way a parent shows up and whether the degree to which they provide secure attachment relationships, that this is a huge predictor for how well kids turn out on many things that we measure them on.”

“The science of attachment is so powerful.” 

“No matter what happened to you as a parent, how you come to make sense of what happened to allows you to be present.”

“The brain wires based on the kinds of experiences we have.”

“Every child is different. Every parent is different, every situation is different. And the key is really more about being present and attuning.”

“What your child needs most from you is to show up.”

 “The messiness, the disconnection, the inevitable ruptures. That's a part of life. The fact that there are ruptures doesn't mean you're doing it wrong. It means you're human.”

“You can always begin again, knowing the direction you want to take.”

“If we can show up in that moment, and help the other person feel safe and seen and sued. That's always the right answer.”

 “It's about helping the child know, at the end of the day, that if something goes wrong, if they are in distress, if they have a need, we will see it, and we will show up for them flawed, not perfect.” 

“This science is full of hope.”

“It isn't about perfection, it's about presence”

 

What you’ll hear in this episode:

  • Secure attachment as a predictor of future success 
  • The Power of Showing Up
  • What parents need to understand about attachment
  • Does attachment involve just one attachment figure?
  • The different ways parents can show up
  • What attachment teaches kids
  • The science of attachment and how it applies to everyday life 
  • Mutual belonging and connection
  • How experiences wire the brain
  • Showing up for ourselves
  • The value of a coherent narrative
  • The 4 S’s
  • Repairing ruptures
  • What conflict can teach
  • What the 4 S’s look like in action
  • The difference between fostering attachment and being permissive
  • Predictability as safety
  • Expanding the container of consciousness and the window of tolerance
  • Experiences with attachment across generations
  • The ongoing opportunity for development
  • Paths of Hope and where they lead
  • Why parents need people to show up for us too
  • Aiming for presence, not perfection
  • Self as embodied and relational 
  • Learning to tolerate uncertainty

 

Resources: 

The Whole Brain Child

No Drama Discipline

The Yes Brain

The Baby Book

Eps 154: Dr. Dan Siegel Discussing the Science of Being Present

The Power of Showing Up

Aware: The Science and Practice of Presence

Eps 100: Dr. Tina Bryson Supports Us With Brain Informed Parenting

Eps 126: Tina Bryson is BACK teaching us about nurturing a YES BRAIN

Brainstorm

Parenting From The Inside Out 

 

Where to find Dr. Siegel and Dr. Bryson:

Dr. Tina Bryson

Dr. Dan Siegel

PATREON – Joyful Courage Super FAM

For $5/month Joyful Courage Super FAM patrons get to be a part of a sweet little private FB community where I show up every Monday for a Q and A, and beginning in January 2020, I will be showing up every FRIDAY to tease apart the weekly podcast episode. You want to be a part of this – it is a fabulous way to give back.

Go to www.patreon.com/joyfulcourage

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GET THE BOOK!

Joyful Courage: Calming the drama and taking control of your parenting journey

This book is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access to the tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child.

THE BOOK IS READY FOR YOU TO BUY– Go to www.joyfulcourage.com/book

Thank you to everyone that has been so encouraging on this journey!!!  I appreciate you!!!!

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

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