Joyful Courage: Calming the drama and taking control of your parenting journey AUDIOBOOK is available!! I am confident that the Joyful Courage audiobook will be a supportive companion as you ride it out with your kids – full of stories and tools that will connect you with self and others, the audiobook will be something you can listen to over and over and over again. Follow Joyful Courage on FB and IG, and sign up for my weekly newsletter at www.joyfulcourage.com/join
::::
Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook groups:
Live and Love with Joyful Courage
Joyful Courage for Parents of Teens
::::
Today is a solo show, reflecting on 2019 – the celebrations, the lessons, all of it. I am so grateful for the community and the love you send me and each other on the daily!!
Adolescent Mental Health Mini summit registration: www.joyfulcourage.com/mhminisummit
See you in the new year!
:::::
GET THE BOOK!
Joyful Courage: Calming the drama and taking control of your parenting journey
This book is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access to the tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child.
THE BOOK IS READY FOR YOU TO BUY– Go to www.joyfulcourage.com/book
Thank you to everyone that has been so encouraging on this journey!!! I appreciate you!!!!
:::::
Be a Subscriber
Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!! AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!
CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!
Joyful Courage: Calming the drama and taking control of your parenting journey AUDIOBOOK is available!! I am confident that the Joyful Courage audiobook will be a supportive companion as you ride it out with your kids – full of stories and tools that will connect you with self and others, the audiobook will be something you can listen to over and over and over again. Follow Joyful Courage on FB and IG, and sign up for my weekly newsletter at www.joyfulcourage.com/join
::::
Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook groups:
Live and Love with Joyful Courage
Joyful Courage for Parents of Teens
::::
Today’s guest is Aparna Venkataraman. Aparna is a parent coach, meditation teacher, motivational speaker and global wellness advocate for doTERRA essential oils. Her approachable nature, strong intuition and problem solving skills guide her in supporting parents of babies, toddlers and teens to empower themselves and build healthy relationships with one another through effective communication, confidence building and light hearted mindfulness techniques.
She values authenticity, which you all know is one of my favorites, a kind nature, motivation, love, compassion, gratitude and humor as key components of a beautiful life. She’s here to share ways that families can relieve stress through self care, mindfulness and effective communication. Join us!
"Self care means to me to find ways to connect back to what is lighting me up, what is helping me to find peace and stay connected to my authentic self.”
“There are simple things you can do each day that can help you to create a routine where you're feeling connected to yourself and not just waiting until the weekend until you have much more time”
“We can put a lot of pressure on ourselves to be a certain way and to show up in the world as somebody who has it all together. When we're really actually stressed, really, really stressed on the inside.”
What you’ll hear in this episode:
What does Joyful Courage mean to you?
So joyful courage in the context of an intrinsic self care practice, that's the courage to show up. vulnerably, really, and to do what I really want to do, and even if it doesn't make sense to anyone, or even to myself, but to do what feels good and what I want to do, and to not be afraid of sharing that if I feel like sharing that with somebody, but to not be afraid to find the joy in things as we just talked about when things don't feel great, not being afraid to do that and knowing that when I'm doing that I'm taking care of myself and I'm helping myself to really make the day feel a little easier so I can move through my day too. That, I think, is joyful courage when I'm taking care of myself and doing something that feels great especially on those days that don't feel great.
Resources:
Where to find Aparna:
Website | Instagram | Facebook
:::::
GET THE BOOK!
Joyful Courage: Calming the drama and taking control of your parenting journey
This book is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access to the tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child.
THE BOOK IS READY FOR YOU TO BUY– Go to www.joyfulcourage.com/book
list, if you haven’t already. Sign up at www.joyfulcourage.com/join
Thank you to everyone that has been so encouraging on this journey!!! I appreciate you!!!!
:::::
Be a Subscriber
Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!! AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!
CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!
Joyful Courage: Calming the drama and taking control of your parenting journey AUDIOBOOK is available!! I am confident that the Joyful Courage audiobook will be a supportive companion as you ride it out with your kids – full of stories and tools that will connect you with self and others, the audiobook will be something you can listen to over and over and over again. Follow Joyful Courage on FB and IG, and sign up for my weekly newsletter at www.joyfulcourage.com/join
::::
Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook groups:
Live and Love with Joyful Courage
Joyful Courage for Parents of Teens
::::
SOLO SHOW!
I have shared about going to therapy – and quite a few of you have reached out and shared that this has prompted YOU to find this kind of support in your community – SO HAPPY!
I told you how I shopped around and chose on that I thought was the right fit. I had actually had some one I trust and worked with suggest that somatic therapy was really the fit I wanted, so that is what I looked for.
Even after shopping around, after a few sessions, I felt unsatisfied with the experience. IT felt slow and directionless. Now, this could ABSOLUTELY say something about me, right? Have I spoken before about my need to get things moving and FIX problems???
I have another friend that told me that I would LOVE who she was seeing – it’s a man, interestingly enough I thought I wanted to work with women but I LOVE THIS GUY. And while he isn’t solving my problems and going into “fix it” mode – the masculine energy is what I am noticing is supporting the work. But it also feels balanced because there does seem to be spaciousness, but my experience of the time spent with him feel directional.
So, all that to say that you all have permission to change up your mental health team if something feels off. Unapologetically.
Today I want to talk about something that has been coming up for me, AND with some of my clients. I have a feeling you are all going to relate with this as well.
So let me set this up and you can decide if you can relate….
You are looking ahead to the weekend. Everyone is going to be home on Sunday and you would really like to have a family day, time together doing something…. Maybe you’ll all decide to go to a movie or do a project, but you know that time together is something you all need and Sunday is the perfect time….
Sunday rolls around and your partner gets busy with a home improvement project that looks like it is going to last all day, one of you kids has made plans with friends and gets irritated when you tell him nope, you have to be home. And maybe the other child is looking for “alone time” rather than “together time.”
Literally no one is on board with a family day.
Maybe you use language like:
“I was kinda hoping we could do something with the kids today” or “It’s important to me that we spend time together as a family” or “I really wish you wanted to hang out with us”
And then our people carry one with the home improvement, making plans with friends, or retreating into their bedroom.
And what happens to us? Well, what happens to me is I start to feel really angry and resentful. I feel slighted, disrespected, dismissed. I then continue to interact with my family from this place. The energy of the house shifts and everyone is now MOTIVATED to be busy with their own thing, away from mom, who has now moved into bitch/blamer mode.
From the outside looking in, this is ridiculous, right?
Did I even explicitly SAY to my family, “lets spend Sunday afternoon together?” and make it a plan? No.
Were my family rejecting me when they carried on with what they needed/planned for that day? No.
Did I actually FUEL disconnection in my response to them? Yes.
Right, get it together, Casey.
But in the moment….. In the moment it feels like rejection. IT feels like no one cares. Thoughts of failure show up, catastrophizing…. Comparison to other families that are FOR SURE joyfully doing something wonderful with THEIR families. What is wrong with us?
And all of this comes also with tightness in my chest and belly, a clenched jaw, furrowed brow – an overall experience of tension. And that is the physical sensation that typically leads me into a mindset of poor me, gosh darn it, I am hurting and they need to know it.
Its funny too, when I am feeling this way, I get really uptight if the kids are on their screens, or their rooms are a mess – all of a sudden I can see a million things that bother me and I am throwing it at them.
And it isn’t about the screens or the rooms, it’s about the hurt I am experience, that I actually set myself up for!!
And this can really sneak up on you too, right? When you expect one response and get something else? This is something I am working out with my therapist, because when my expectations are challenged, I go into fight or flight – typically fight mode. My thinking gets rigid, and I am grasping for control…. Yeah, it’s a control thing I think. And I am sure this can be traced back to my interpretation of stability or instability growing up.
So what do we do??? IF you have read my book, you know that I highlight that experience of awareness “I know I am pissed and should calm down” coupled with the justification of “but god damn it they need to KNOW”
Yeah……. Raise your hand if you know the struggle. It’s like the emotional experience has tentacles and it’s holding us captive. Because if we move through it, move through or anger and resentment in a positive way, and then show up from a place of connection and love, what?
There is this idea that if others don’t feel our pain, they are somehow getting away with something. The reality is, when what we are being triggered by is an internal experience that we are having, and then responding to others from that place of pain, all they really are is confused, or perhaps scared.
So, how about we choose to do something different when this resentment shows up? Lets start with getting some space.
Meme:
I am unworthy.
I am noticing, that I am having the thought, that I am unworthy.
I am being rejected/dismissed/ignored
I am noticing, that I am having the thought, that I am being rejected/dismissed/ignored
Is it true?
Yes or no – what can I do about it?
If the answer is yes, have a meaning full conversation with the people that you feel are involved (I love the conversation I had on Eps 174: Learning to be a more mindful communicator with Oren Jay Sofer, check it out)
If the answer is no, take care of yourself. Feel your feelings and give yourself a chance to process them. Journal. Talk to a friend. Talk to your therapist. Be with your experience and move through it, rather than avoid it or distract yourself from feeling it.
Ok, so what can we do to be proactive?
If you want something, be explicit about it, not vague. You can’t expect for your children to tease apart your generalizations to hear what you are really trying to say.
This sounds like:
“Sunday afternoon we are all going to be home and I would like us to do something together from 1-5, so don’t make any plans, please.”
As the holidays get closer, know that you are going to be making lots of plans and expectations in your head. Take this opportunity to speak into the experience you would like to have. Encourage and invite your family into the planning so that they know what to expect and what YOU expect. Find flexibility too – because you are SHARING the experience with others…
Helpful?
I love this topic – know that I am actively practicing what I shared with you today, all the time. Imperfectly.
We are all in this together, friends!!
:::::
GET THE BOOK!
Joyful Courage: Calming the drama and taking control of your parenting journey
This book is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access to the tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child.
THE BOOK IS READY FOR YOU TO BUY– Go to www.joyfulcourage.com/book
list, if you haven’t already. Sign up at www.joyfulcourage.com/join
Thank you to everyone that has been so encouraging on this journey!!! I appreciate you!!!!
:::::
Be a Subscriber
Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!! AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!
CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!
Follow Joyful Courage on FB and IG, and sign up for my weekly newsletter at www.joyfulcourage.com/join
::::
Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook groups:
Live and Love with Joyful Courage
Joyful Courage for Parents of Teens
::::
Today’s guest is Tonya Dalton. Tonya is a productivity expert, writer, speaker and founder of Inkwell Press Productivity Company, a company centered around productivity tools and training. she released her book The Joy of Missing Out on October 1, she's going to share a little bit about her book with us. Tanya is also the mother of two teenagers and really knows what it means to be the leader of a family. Join us!
" I love that it feels like a permission slip. Like I feel like I have permission to just stop chasing my tail.”
“We're filling our calendars, but we're not really filling our souls.”
“it's really about mindful living. It's really about living with intention.”
“Productivity is not about doing more. It's about doing what is most important.”
“Life is meant to be enjoyed, not just endured.”
“None of us truly have it all together all of the time.”
“Balance is a myth.”
What you’ll hear in this episode:
What does Joyful Courage mean to you?
I love this question because I think joyful courage to me really means the ability to stand up, to feel confident in your choices, and to live the life you really want. Because here's the truth, you know, living a life is centered on your priorities and letting your priorities sit front and center every day is a choice. And it's not always an easy choice because people will question it. People will pull you in different directions wanting you to say yes to things when really you should be saying no. And so really joyful courage is standing tall and standing true to what is most important to you.
Resources:
Where to find Tonya:
::::
SUPER SHOPPING SEASON PACKAGES!!
Joyful Courage School Age Bundle - $59
Super excited to bring some of my favorite programs out of the archives to support you in the deeply personal work of being the parenting you want to be. Each of these programs were designed to help you gain more insight on how you are showing up as a parent, with tips and tools for growth. While all three of these programs are easily modified for parents with kids of all ages, you will find that they are most useful for school aged kids.
Teen Audio Summit - $39
The Teen Audio Summit is a collection of 15 interviews with Positive Discipline Trainers and Lead Trainers who have been in the trenches with raising teenagers. When you purchase the summit, you will get every interview in full to return to again and again. Every time I listen to these interviews I learn something new, or understand something deeper.
“I have learned SO MUCH listening to these! Thank you all for the work and wisdom that went in to putting this together!”
- Teen Audio Summit parent
Joyful Courage Super Bundle - $79
For those of you with kids that cross the span of school age to teens. Get all the programs of the School Age Bundle AND the Teen Audio Summit. YES!
:::::
GET THE BOOK!
Joyful Courage: Calming the drama and taking control of your parenting journey
This book is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access to the tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child.
THE BOOK IS READY FOR YOU TO BUY– Go to www.joyfulcourage.com/book
Parenting is messy. Alongside all of the joy comes and emotional freight train full of challenges and frustration. Your child can instantly trigger strong reactions that leave you feeling angry and out of control. What if you didn’t respond so emotionally every time? What if you could learn to be more present to the experience you were having? Might you feel like a better parent?
Joyful Courage: Calming the Drama and Taking Control of Your Parenting Journey helps parents navigate the roller coaster of parenting to reveal:
How identifying your body’s physical reaction to stress is the first step to taking control of your parenting
Why our past experiences add to the conflict with out kids and what to do about it.
Real-life stories from parents riding the emotional freight train.
The Three B’s Method to change your reaction anytime, anywhere.
How to grow your relationship with all of the people that you love.
From toddlers to teenagers, Joyful Courage is the practical and thoughtful resource for parents to navigate the challenge of raising children while choosing to be connected and engaged. Parents can learn how to be the best for their families with Joyful Courage.
Thank you to everyone that has been so encouraging on this journey!!! I appreciate you!!!!
:::::
Be a Subscriber
Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!! AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!
CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!