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Politics and Parenting - can we keep them separate?

Do we want to?

Issues:

• Birth
• Breastfeeding
• Spanking
• Schooling
• Homework

 I am recoding Thursday, Feb 22, a week ago, a community woke up to realize that the tragedy that had rocked their community the day before was not a nightmare. 19 year old Nicholas Cruz showed up at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida and killed 17 people. Kids, adults, 17 people who are now being grieved by friends and family….

I am done with this headline

I am also done with feeling like I can’t speak my truth for fear of offending people.

I dove into following the teens that have been energized into action.

I posted my thoughts on my personal FB page.

Wednesday, I posted on my IG account and linked the post to my FB Biz page.

I posted a meme that said “The children almost broken by the world will become the adults who save it.” Crediting Frank Warren for the quote. Here is the post I wrote:

So here is how I am feeling.... My kids aren’t broken, HOWEVER this school shooting/random acts of violence BS had got to stop. Humans are hurting, guns are too available, schools aren’t secure - there is a lot going on under the surface here. I will no longer complain about it, I will ACT. I will be IN ACTION. And with this action I will inspire others to see how THEY can act, including the two that matter most to me. 
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Rowan and Ian, I love you. I will fight for you. I will get uncomfortable, and curious, and let go of what people think to fight for YOUR future and YOUR safety. You, and ALL kids deserve this from the adults that came before you.
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Stay tuned.

I got one reply from one of my followers asking me to not get political. She acknowledged that wasn’t why she followed me and advised me to continue on as the resource I am in creating change. She was totally respectful in her tone, however, she was clear with her message. 

Sorry, not sorry. I will not be silent. I am a political being. I speak about things that relate to the public affairs of our country.  WE ARE RAISING ADULTS – future leaders and citizens of the world – how is that not political???

I don’t imagine that everyone who follows Joyful Courage share all of my views. I am guessing that you all realize that I am a flaming liberal – and if you didn’t, well, cats out of the bag.

• I support dignity and respect for all humans.
• Black lives matter to me.
• Immigrant lives matter to me.
• Woman having equal rights, including rights over their body matters to me.
• I believe that people have the right to gather and worship in a way that works for them.
• I believe in climate change and the duty we ALL have to honor the earth.
• I believe that people who are raised to feel connected, loved and as though they matter don’t show up at public or private events with the intent to kill.
• I do not believe that private citizens have the right to own weapons of war.
• I believe our schools should be safe and secure.
• I do not believe that teachers should have guns.
• I believe in a health care system that is proactive in supporting the mentally ill.
• I believe in compassion.
• I believe in civic action.

Some of what I just shared may turn you off to my work and my message. I hope it doesn’t, because at the most foundational level, I believe in love – living it, spreading it, being it. And that is what will save the world.

“Love thy neighbor as thyself” is a message of all major religions – and when THIS is our come-from, when THIS message is what we start to live, the world will be healed.

And I acknowledge that it isn’t easy. It isn’t easy to put ourselves out there and speak our truths

• we don’t want to offend
• we don’t want to argue
• we worry about what people think
• we want everyone to be comfortable

And right now the environment is so TOXIC! It is so challenging to talk about the issues that matter the most to us. It is scary to get vulnerable and say what we need to say, to lead from the front.

Today I declare that I am no longer going to worry about ruffling feathers. I will continue to share the content that you have come to love, and I will elevate it by pushing my fear aside.

I will bring more of myself.

I will bring more of my authenticity and truth.

I will leave behind wanting everyone to like me.

I am done with school shootings, and my guess is you are too.

It is time to have hard conversations.

It is time to look for solutions.

It is time to get involved, ask questions, reach out and trust that your voice is valued. 

Humans are hurting.

Weapons of war are too available.

Schools aren’t secure.

So lets do something about it.

Here is what I have done over the past few days….

• I emailed the admin team at my daughters HS to voice my concern and to educate myself around what is already in place. I also offered myself as a community member to partner with them to be in deeper relationships with parents and community about how they are keeping our kids safe, including fostering a sense of belonging.
• I put the monthly principal/parent meet-and-greets on my calendar so that I would go. I am not planning on being on the outside looking in anymore. I want those administrators to know me by name. I want to support them, challenge them and work with them to make my kids schools better
• I put in a call to our district “safety and risk assessment” person. I left a message and will follow up with an email. Again, I invited myself into the conversation and offered myself as a partner in the work he is already doing.
• I emailed out local “community coalition” about an idea of have for running a film festival in our town to highlight documentaries that invite conversations around teens and screens, toxic masculinity, the message our girls are getting, and anxiety. I am going to foster community conversations about the things so many of us have opinions and fears about but ARENT TALKING ABOUT.
• All of this on top of calling my representative and showing up to meetings and rallies for smarter gun laws….

This may not have been why you tuned into the podcast today. I thought I gave a pretty good heads up with the title “Parenting and Politics”.  The good news is there are over 100 other episodes you can turn to today for parenting tips and inspiration.

Today is about action.

Thank you.

Thank you for listening. I feel as though it is my responsibility to speak these truth, it is my responsibility to not pretend that all is well and good and that the world our children are inheriting is going to magically be peaceful.

We are in the creation of the world we live in. Everything we do is part of the creation.

• What we buy
• Who we vote for
• Whether or not we speak up when we get that intuitive hit that what we are witnessing is wrong

We are in the creation even when WE DO NOTHING. Even when we turn away because it is too hard, or too scary, or too vulnerable – we are STILL in the creation of the world we live in.

I choose to be in action. And I hope you join me.

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Chaos to Calm

New offer from Casey!!

This is a four part video training that will support you in transforming the climate of your home.  More information at http://www.joyfulcourage.com/chaos

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Mother’s Journey

Are you interested in bringing A Mother’s Journey to your community? Get in touch with me! All MJ workshops happening because people like you reach out and say COME! Fill the room with the mamas you love and enjoy a say of love and learning. Email Casey at casey@joyfulcourage.com to explore the possibility.

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All the goods at www.joyfulcourage.com/yes

Intention Bracelets

Back by popular demand!! The Joyful Courage intention bracelets are back in stock and I am THRILLED to have been able to have had the community vote on the reminders that are on them…. Breathe, Pause, Trust, Surrender, Kindness – what do you need?

DAILY INTENTION CARDS

What do you think about the Daily Intention Cards???  These cards are designed to support you in your conscious, intentional parenting practice.

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Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

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Today’s guest is Liz Haske, a mother, an international teacher and instructional coach and children’s book author. She has over 15 years elementary classroom experience in six different countries and is super passionate about empowering children to be their most courageous selves.  Her first book, When Worry Takes Hold, was released in November 2017 and aims to help young children cope with worry by using mindful breathing. Join us!

“It’s about a young girl who’s afraid to do different things and she realizes that she has the power inside her and if she puts her hands on her belly, she can be brave.”

“Stories help us be better people if we are reading the right books”

“We want to empower these little people to realize they can do it. They can develop the tools and they can be confident and they can face what is presented to them in healthy and positive ways.”

“Worry gets bigger and bigger the more that we do it.”

“We can be brave, and everyone has worries … whether it’s helping our kids be brave or us being brave to face whatever parenting challenge it may be.”

“Courage is just a deep breath away.” 

What you’ll hear in this episode:

• The basis & inspiration for When Worry Takes Hold
• Worry as a visitor and the power to ask it to leave
• Acknowledging & expecting worry
• Externalizing worry and setting limits
• Following the why – getting to the root of big feelings
• Manifestations and signs of worry
• Addressing underlying worry vs. addressing the behaviors
• Taking a wide view to problem solving worry
• How not to take worry related behaviors personally
• Why trying to talk kids out of their worries doesn’t work
• Managing worry as a practice
• Tools for managing worry and how they can be applied to other situations
• Mindful breathing vs. “Let’s take some deep breaths”
• The power of mindful breathing
• How to know when to get professional help (duration, intensity, impact, age appropriateness)
• Journaling worries to find patterns and icebergs
• Liz’s upcoming projects on the horizon
• The importance of exercising self-compassion

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

I’m going to answer it in two parts. I’d say the first way, which is for me personally, is finally having the courage to do something I’ve been dreaming about for over ten years and the absolute joy of going through the learning process of taking an idea and turning it into something that kids can hold in their hands and hopefully read and become better because of it. So that is absolutely Joyful Courage.

But I think it’s also in the context of kids the feeling that they get when they face their fear and they realize how empowered they are. It might not be breathing is their strategy, but perhaps When Worry Takes Hold might be a book that just starts a conversation with them and an adult in their life that, “Yeah, you know what, I do get a bit worried. Let’s try this breathing thing.” And, “You know what? This breathing thing isn’t working for me.” But then, there’s now this opening for more tools to be introduced because it’s something that’s been brought to the surface.

The book ends with, “Courage is just a deep breath away.” I think that when children can realize this, they’re empowered. There’s really a pure sense of pride and joy in being brave and finding courage and so that’s kind of what it means to me.  

Resources:

When Worry Takes Hold

Where to find Liz:

Facebook

Instagram

Website

Twitter

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Chaos to Calm

New offer from Casey!!

This is a four part video training that will support you in transforming the climate of your home.  More information at http://www.joyfulcourage.com/chaos

:::::

Mother’s Journey 

Are you interested in bringing A Mother’s Journey to your community? Get in touch with me! All MJ workshops happening because people like you reach out and say COME! Fill the room with the mamas you love and enjoy a say of love and learning. Email Casey at casey@joyfulcourage.com to explore the possibility.

:::::

All the goods at www.joyfulcourage.com/yes

Intention Bracelets 

Back by popular demand!! The Joyful Courage intention bracelets are back in stock and I am THRILLED to have been able to have had the community vote on the reminders that are on them…. Breathe, Pause, Trust, Surrender, Kindness – what do you need?

DAILY INTENTION CARDS

 What do you think about the Daily Intention Cards???  These cards are designed to support you in your conscious, intentional parenting practice.

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

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A solo show all about routines

There are a couple tools, that when put into place, make the whole parenting journey easier.  You have heard me talk about special time, that one on one time that is so important for building relationship and a solid foundation of belonging and significance for our kids.

Challenges coming up in the LLWJC group

• mornings, bedtimes, defiance, meltdowns, sibling issues
  • We find ourselves putting out fires
  • We find ourselves being overtaxed
  • We find ourselves slipping OUT of who we want to be and INTO crazy parent
  • This is also where we loose sight of the way that we are contributing to the chaos at hand….
    • We blame out kids
    • We fall into the trap of “it is always so difficult”
    • We forget that there is always a flow that comes after the ebb….

Yes, special time helps with the challenges mentioned about.

The relationship we nurture with our kids is what has the biggest impact on their behavior, absolutely.

AND, another tool that is super helpful to come back to, again and again, is co-creating routines.

Now, if you are someone with challenges in the morning, or after school, you may be thinking, but we have a routine, and it isn’t working!!!

GREAT.

Not all routines are created equal.

• Routines are made to be modified and changed up
• Routines designed to be HELPFUL for everyone will be the most USEFUL

Mindset matters

• This is not about getting your kids to do what you want them to do
• This is about helping your children feel like capable, contributing members of the family
• This is about the process, the opportunity that exists inside the challenge that is currently at the surface

Take a deeper look…

• Co creating routines means that you are CO CREATING
• Find a time of day when everyone is feeling good, connected
• Opening up the conversation to child about how they experience the challenging time of day, validate their feelings, listen and let them know you are taking their sharing to heart – this is not time to talk them out of what they are experiencing or getting them to “see your side”
• Clear out the space through taking accountability for your behavior. This is really important.
• Ask for their help to make that time of day easier/better for everyone
• Brainstorm ideas/tasks
• Offer/counter offer if you need to
• Be open to their ideas
• Be firm/not rigid around your non-negotiables
  • “This is what is important to me, how could we make that work?”
  • “What is your idea for that?”
• Cross off anything that isn’t related/reasonable/respectful/helpful on the list
• Work together to create a visual reminder
• Try it for a week

But, but, but what if it doesn’t “work”

• Shifting to what is “helpful”
• Focus on the process
• TRUST the process
• Let the routine be the boss
• Revisit at the end of the week and tweak if necessary

So many routines….

• Housework
• Family Meetings
• Mornings
• Afterschool
• Bedtime

Take it slow – let go of urgency

How you show up matters

Be in your practice of curiosity and openness – catch yourself when you want to judge  (roshambo/coin flip) Currently in a new routine of turning screens off from 5-7.  This is a slippery place for us….

Recently posted a handout on the live and love page – will put it in the show notes – for walking through this process. Let me know if you have any questions!

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Chaos to Calm

New offer from Casey!!

This is a four part video training that will support you in transforming the climate of your home.  More information at http://www.joyfulcourage.com/chaos

:::::

All the goods at www.joyfulcourage.com/yes

Intention Bracelets

Back by popular demand!! The Joyful Courage intention bracelets are back in stock and I am THRILLED to have been able to have had the community vote on the reminders that are on them…. Breathe, Pause, Trust, Surrender, Kindness – what do you need?? 

Joyful Courage SHIRTS

Women cut tanks and tees are ready for you to BUY NOW!!  Wearable reminders for how you want to show up in the world.

DAILY INTENTION CARDS

What do you think about the Daily Intention Cards???  These cards are designed to support you in your conscious, intentional parenting practice.

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

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Julie Miller is on with us!

Julie is on a mission to live a delicious life and bring joy back to the family dinner table.  She is a Registered Dietitian Nutritionist and Certified Positive Discipline Parenting Educator who holds a Master’s Degree in Human Nutrition from Bastyr University.  She has over 16 years’ experience sharing food and nutrition philosophy with diverse communities throughout the Seattle area. 

Julie currently specializes in helping families find their own positive feeding dynamic so that food is less of a parenting chore and more of a nourishing experience.  She believes that connection between adults, children and food sets the stage for a lifetime of personal wellness, including healthy eating.  Julie knows, as a Mom, that the constant demand to prepare and serve food can get just a wee bit tiring and tricky.  She emphasizes reducing the drama and eating minimally processed foods, while ensuring that children and adults meet their nutritional needs to support growth, development and wellbeing.   

Content:

• Got into nutrition for personal reasons
• Had kids and discovered PD
• So much judgment in parenting – especially fierce around food
• Helps parents to make parenting around food a nourishing experience for everyone
• Most typical complaint? “I don’t like it”
• Second biggest? Picky eating
• Parental Fatigue – parents DON’T want to cook but DO want to feel kids good food
• PD says – “Eating, sleeping, pottying, you can’t make them do it!”
• You CAN work on belonging, significance and influence
• They need to be guided, not forced
• Division of responsibility – defining roles (Ellen Satter’s work)
  • Parent responsible for what, when, where AND maintaining connection
  • Child responsible for what they eat and how much
• Story about Rowan drinking caffeine
• Over 12 100mg isn’t terrible
• Under 12 no caffeine
• Guide THEM in using the information to make informed choices
• Until it is personally meaningful for them to feel the effects of their choices, behavior won’t change
• AND they learn what they live
• Before bed snacks….
  • Timing
• Thank you bites??
• What about suggesting…..
  • Serve food family style. Parents can mentioned all the items that are available, then the parents job is done….
• What about the salad??
• Short term vs long term goals
• Let go of judgement
• Invite kids into planning/cooking to bulk up their belonging/significance/influence
• Your job is to provide food, provide some structure and love them unconditionally
• Let go of self judgement/what others think/fear <3

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

Joyful Courage to me is the invitation to live boldly with your own truth, to hold tight to your own convictions and values for your family and your children, and to do it in a joyful way….

Find Julie:

www.harmonioustable.net
email at jmillernutrition@comcast.net
Live workshops in Seattle – reach out to hire Julie

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Chaos to Calm 

New offer from Casey!!

This is a four part video training that will support you in transforming the climate of your home.  More information at http://www.joyfulcourage.com/chaos

:::::

 All the goods at www.joyfulcourage.com/yes

Intention Bracelets 

Back by popular demand!! The Joyful Courage intention bracelets are back in stock and I am THRILLED to have been able to have had the community vote on the reminders that are on them…. Breathe, Pause, Trust, Surrender, Kindness – what do you need?

Joyful Courage SHIRTS

Women cut tanks and tees are ready for you to BUY NOW!!  Wearable reminders for how you want to show up in the world.

DAILY INTENTION CARDS

What do you think about the Daily Intention Cards???  These cards are designed to support you in your conscious, intentional parenting practice.

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!