Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

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Content:

Solo show today – from the car….  Thank you for having grace for my audio quality this week!! Feeling inspired to share with you on my way to yoga class.

All about the Iceberg Metaphor

• Shout out to all the parents of teens out there who are showing up and sharing and willing to be vulnerable
• Connecting seeing an iceberg as a metaphor for children’s behavior
• Unwanted behavior is the “tip” of the iceberg
  • The behavior that we see
• Under the surface -
  • What’s opening the door to the behavior?
    • Perception of connection
    • Perception of influence
    • Perception of mattering
    • Trauma/adversity
      • Kids are ALWAYS making meaning with their underdeveloped brain – and forming beliefs from that place
    • Lacking skills for navigating the challenges/emotions that show up
  • Moving from a place of strengthening relationship as a way to understand what is below the surface, to help us influence the behavior at the tip
  • Episode 104 on Making Amends
  • Always be moving towards nurturing relationship
• What are some of the things YOU do to look under the surface? Head over to Live and Love with Joyful Courage and share!

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Journey to Joy Ecourse

Journey to Joy is a 3-part offer. 

Each Module contains a video, audio and workbook to guide you in doing your work.

You will increase your awareness around the areas you are stuck (you know, the irritation that never seems to go away... the exhaustion, the guilt and shame that shows up so often after you have "dealt with" the challenges your kids bring on a regular basis.

You will spend time exploring new choices, new ways of being...  Inviting in the qualities that are missing.  Love, compassion, self-acceptance and non-judgement...  You will learn how to open up your body and allow these emotions in.

You will create a practice for teaching your body and mind a NEW pattern, making this new way of being more readily available when you need it.

SO EXCITED to share this with you!  Get more info and register at www.joyfulcourage.com/joy

::::: 

All the goods at www.joyfulcourage.com/yes

Intention Bracelets

Back by popular demand!! The Joyful Courage intention bracelets are back in stock and I am THRILLED to have been able to have had the community vote on the reminders that are on them…. Breathe, Pause, Trust, Surrender, Kindness – what do you need?

DAILY INTENTION CARDS

What do you think about the Daily Intention Cards???  These cards are designed to support you in your conscious, intentional parenting practice.

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on iTunes to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast on iTunes to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

:::::

Alright - My guest today is Liz Blackwell-Moore. I connected with Liz through my friend, and one of your fave podcast guests, Julietta Skoog from besproutable.com. I am so excited to have Liz on today to talk about an incredibly relevant topic – kids and drugs. GAH. I know. No one really WANTS to talk about this, but we have to.

Liz has been working in the field of substance use since 2000. Her current work involves working with community coalitions and organizations to provide training on prevention strategies as well as technical assistance to translate public health research into practice and implement a restorative trauma-informed approach to addressing public health problems.

So basically, Liz is going to break it all down for us in a way that is helpful.  She lives in Portland, Maine with her wife, two happy kids, and a puppy.

Content:

• Liz shares about her early work with people involved with substance abuse and was drawn to exploring prevention work
• How can we make “systems” (including the family) better for young people, with more support in their lives?
• What the “risk taking years” feels like, according to Casey
• Liz shares her moms’ analogy of the two boats
• Adolescent brain development
  • It’s like a house being build bottom up
  • Built through interactions and the environment kids experience
  • Reward center develops first – ready to go, “volume turned up”
  • Front, logical part of brain not fully developed, and not integrated
  • W/o the desire to try new things, how would they ever leave home??
• The perception and science of marijuana and adolescence
  • National Academy of Sciences – research on the research
    • Young people using
      • Impacts learning and memory
      • Significant effects on mental health
        • “Regular use” – once every 30 days
        • 2xs more likely to become depressed
        • 3xs more likely to have suicidal thoughts
        • Kids with MH issues are more likely to use/self-medicate
      • Initially make people feel calm/relaxed
        • Brain likes to do what’s easy so eventually wants more
      • What about vaping
        • Tobacco companies are SO LAME – trying to suck in kids
        • Some kids just the flavoring
          • Not regulated – we don’t know what is in it
        • Lots of kids ARE putting nicotine and weed into the vape
      • All drugs impact the reward center of the brain – putting young people at a greater risk of addiction later in life
        • Rewires/primes the brain for addiction
      • How do we get them to wait????
      • Relationship is the most powerful tool we have… Share our values…  AND – THEY HAVE CRAZY REWARD CENTERS!!!  GAH!!!
        • Be present, listen, develop a strong relationship
        • Set clear expectations – bring it up in a variety of ways
        • Continue to bring it back to what their goals are, how might risky behavior get in the way?
        • Help them to “see” the bigger picture
        • Restorative practices: Hold them accountable while offering support
          • What are you getting out of this?
          • What were you thinking?
          • How else can you get thrills?
          • Social connection?
          • Is this a mental health issue?
        • Having these conversations REQUIRES the adults to be in solid relationship with their kids
        • Also, our stuff shows up and gets in the way – fear, rigidity
        • Ok to say, “this is disappointing” “this is hard for me” – they need to know how they are impacting their parents
        • Teens aren’t great with nuance
        • SLEEP MATTERS!!
        • Natural consequences are powerful
        • Boundaries are MESSY
        • How do we balance nurture and structure?? It’s a dance
        • How do we know when it really is a problem?
          • Major changes in physical appearance
          • Personality
          • Participation
          • Peer group changes
          • Public image has changed
        • org – online resources
        • 20-minute guide – helping parents use motivational interviewing 20inuteguide.com
        • Find your people!
        • There is uncertainty and change AND we all have flexible, learning brains – we can be resilient!!

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

For me it means trying to see those amazing things that are happening as you move through adolescence – having the courage to stick with your values and follow our instincts…

Resources:
https://the20minuteguide.com/
http://www.drugfree.org/

Good reading on the teen brain:
Dan Siegel Brainstorm
Francis Jensen The Teenage Brain

Links for young people:
http://www.teen.drugabuse.gov/
*This is National Institute of Drug Abuse website for teens

http://www.protectwhatsnext.com/
*This is a website out of Colorado for young people specifically about marijuana use

Where to find Liz:

Birchlanestrategies.com (under-construction)
Linked in

:::::

Journey to Joy Ecourse

Journey to Joy is a 3-part offer. 

Each Module contains a video, audio and workbook to guide you in doing your work.

You will increase your awareness around the areas you are stuck (you know, the irritation that never seems to go away... the exhaustion, the guilt and shame that shows up so often after you have "dealt with" the challenges your kids bring on a regular basis.

You will spend time exploring new choices, new ways of being...  Inviting in the qualities that are missing.  Love, compassion, self-acceptance and non-judgement...  You will learn how to open up your body and allow these emotions in.

You will create a practice for teaching your body and mind a NEW pattern, making this new way of being more readily available when you need it.

SO EXCITED to share this with you!  Get more info and register at www.joyfulcourage.com/joy

:::::

All the goods at www.joyfulcourage.com/yes

Intention Bracelets

Back by popular demand!! The Joyful Courage intention bracelets are back in stock and I am THRILLED to have been able to have had the community vote on the reminders that are on them…. Breathe, Pause, Trust, Surrender, Kindness – what do you need?

Joyful Courage SHIRTS

Women cut tanks and tees are ready for you to BUY NOW!!  Wearable reminders for how you want to show up in the world.

DAILY INTENTION CARDS 

What do you think about the Daily Intention Cards???  These cards are designed to support you in your conscious, intentional parenting practice.

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on iTunes to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast on iTunes to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

:::::

Holding space for having a 15 YEAR OLD!!  WHOA!!

What is happening in the BIZ

• Membership is HAPPENING
• Alumni group calls
• Ecourses
• Coaching calls
  • What is happening in the collective is happening in the individual
  • I speak to the community and I am speaking to myself
  • TRUST – BIG PICTURE – MARATHON NOT A SPRINT

How to “hold the container”

• Jessica talking about “our job is to be the container”
• Present, available, confident – even as our kids are making mistakes
• I got you – I am unconditional

Our response matters

• Who we be comes before what we do
  • We can handle it
  • Everything will be ok, or not, either way, we stand by our kids
  • We trust that they can handle what life gives them, and we support them inside of that (the world’s consequences, etc)
• What to do becomes more clear when we practice being in the moment, vs in our emo/fear
  • Learn how to recognize we are there when we are there
  • Practice being with our overwhelm without letting it takes us over (observers)
    • Simple but not easy!!! Takes time!!
  • What we are trying to do is REWIRE the brain (Tina Bryson show 126)
  • Be witness to the presence of the emotional freight train, but let it idle
    • My book!!! Next Fall!!!  WOOHOO

Our kids make mistakes

• Lagging skills/ impulse/ brain development – DON’T BE SURPRISED BY IT
• Cause and effect
• Pushing boundaries to know where they are and who YOU are in the process
  • Making judgements about themselves and their peeps
    • Trust? Safety? Dependability? Can they handle this???

BUT WHAT DO WE DO???

• Alfie Kohn, Unconditional Parenting – “I am not going to sit here and pretend that I have all the answers to all of your problems. I don’t know you or your families…”
• What are the outcomes that you want? What are the skills that you are hoping that your adult child will one day embody?
  • What are the skills your child is showing you (through behavior) that they are missing?
  • What is a solution to the challenge that will help them learn those skills?
  • Is there something to “make right”?
  • How can you say less and listen more???
  • Remember – finding solutions to problems, including a “plan for next time” or a “plan to fix the mistake/make things right,” finding solutions are always consequences – HOWEVER consequences that we impose on our children are NOT always a solution to problems.
    • WHAT DO WE DO often is a request for “what do we do to them?”

Kids do better when they feel better. – Jane Nelsen

Kids want to succeed, they don't always know how. – Ross Greene

A Misbehaving child is a discouraged child. – Rudolf Dreikurs

Humans are always moving towards a sense of belonging and significance, am I connected? Do I matter? – from Aderian Theory

The most powerful tool you have for influencing behavior is the relationship that you nurture with your child. Choosing into the work of Joyful Courage, which really means being willing to grow and practice awareness, being present to your child and your experience, and hold space for your kids, no matter how they are showing up, THIS will nurture and preserve relationship.

So – what do you think? Does this make sense to you?? Do you have thoughts about this?

Come join the community discussion over in Live and Love with Joyful Courage. This is a closed FB group for listeners and parents that appreciate this conversation and are committed to learning and supporting each other on the journey.

Thank you so much for listening today – super DUPER appreciate all you moms and dads out there doing the work of making the world a better place through showing up well for your children!!

I will be back next week with Liz Blackwell-Moore talking about teens and drugs – GAH!!!  I know – it’s scary, but listen anyways because she is brilliant and the conversation is helpful!!

Big love!!

:::::

Journey to Joy Ecourse

Journey to Joy is a 3 part offer. 

Each Module contains a video, audio and workbook to guide you in doing your work.

You will increase your awareness around the areas you are stuck (you know, the irritation that never seems to go away... the exhaustion, the guilt and shame that shows up so often after you have "dealt with" the challenges your kids bring on a regular basis.

You will spend time exploring new choices, new ways of being...  Inviting in the qualities that are missing.  Love, compassion, self acceptance and non-judgement...  You will learn how to open up your body and allow these emotions in.

You will create a practice for teaching your body and mind a NEW pattern, making this new way of being more readily available when you need it.

SO EXCITED to share this with you!  Get more info and register at www.joyfulcourage.com/joy

:::::

All the goods at www.joyfulcourage.com/yes

Intention Bracelets

Back by popular demand!! The Joyful Courage intention bracelets are back in stock and I am THRILLED to have been able to have had the community vote on the reminders that are on them…. Breathe, Pause, Trust, Surrender, Kindness – what do you need?.

Joyful Courage SHIRTS

Women cut tanks and tees are ready for you to BUY NOW!!  Wearable reminders for how you want to show up in the world.

DAILY INTENTION CARDS

What do you think about the Daily Intention Cards???  These cards are designed to support you in your conscious, intentional parenting practice.

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on iTunes to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast on iTunes to help me spread the show to an ever larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

:::::

Welcome, thank you for showing up! 

Tina Bryson is BACK ON the podcast today!!  You all remember Tina from Eps 100 – which happens to be THE most downloaded show to date of this podcast.

Tina co-authored two of MY fave parenting books, the whole brain child and no drama discipline with Dan Siegel and she is BACK on the podcast today to talk about her NEW book, the yes brain.

I am THRILLED she is back on….

Content:

• The Yes Brain is available NOW
• Tina is a mama to 17, 14, and 11 year boys
• Yes brain and no brain approaches
  • A “yes brain” is a mindset of saying yes to the world, open – neurological state, our brain is integrated and linked up… Over time it becomes hardwired
  • A “no brain” is fearful, reactive
• Prompted by “what are the skills my child needs to be successful?” – Tina and Dan Siegel wanted to go beyond academics and gold stars
  • They need an integrated brain that has a strong/functioning prefrontal cortex
• Yes Brain has 4 Components:
  • Balance
  • Resilience
  • Insight
  • Empathy
• Developmental brain/age/temperament matters
• Tina shares a story about her own son who seemed to be lacking empathy at a young age
• Brain develops through experience - What we emphasize (as parents) in our interactions create new linking connection in the brain.
• Use books, shows, and real world experiences to model and draw forth empathy in our kids
• Trust development, trust that what you are doing will pay off
• Supporting our children in feeling their feelings – support them as they practice tolerating difficult feelings
• Normalize difficult feelings…
• 2-3 tools to put into practice:
  • Sleep!!!
    • When we sleep the brain LITERALLY freshens up
  • Survive emotional dysregulation
    • When kids are at their worst is when they need us the most
    • Co-regulaton – a soothing presence to communicate “you’re safe, I’m here”
    • Build/teach skills to help them regulate themselves – GREEN ZONE
    • Check out Eps 100 to hear Tina dig deeper into this
    • Teach them to understand themselves
  • Rethinking success
    • Our children having an authentic self that they can trust
    • It’s about the journey and not JUST the destination
    • BIGGER than gold stars and academics
  • Eudaimonia – happiness comes from meaning, connection and peaceful contentment

Tinabryson.com

:::::

Journey to Joy Ecourse

Journey to Joy is a 3 part offer. 

Each Module contains a video, audio and workbook to guide you in doing your work.

You will increase your awareness around the areas you are stuck (you know, the irritation that never seems to go away... the exhaustion, the guilt and shame that shows up so often after you have "dealt with" the challenges your kids bring on a regular basis.

You will spend time exploring new choices, new ways of being...  Inviting in the qualities that are missing.  Love, compassion, self acceptance and non-judgement...  You will learn how to open up your body and allow these emotions in.

You will create a practice for teaching your body and mind a NEW pattern, making this new way of being more readily available when you need it.

SO EXCITED to share this with you!  Get more info and register at www.joyfulcourage.com/joy

:::::

All the goods at www.joyfulcourage.com/yes

Intention Bracelets 

Back by popular demand!! The Joyful Courage intention bracelets are back in stock and I am THRILLED to have been able to have had the community vote on the reminders that are on them…. Breathe, Pause, Trust, Surrender, Kindness – what do you need?.

Joyful Courage SHIRTS

Women cut tanks and tees are ready for you to BUY NOW!!  Wearable reminders for how you want to show up in the world.

DAILY INTENTION CARDS

What do you think about the Daily Intention Cards???  These cards are designed to support you in your conscious, intentional parenting practice.

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on iTunes to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast on iTunes to help me spread the show to an ever larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

:::::

Welcome, thank you for showing up!

Content:

Super happy new year

• Love that everything is possible
• Fresh opportunities
• Embodiment of excitement/anticipation

 The work of parenting….

• Really the work of human-ing
• Being in relationship with self/others
• Recognizing our own conditioning and breaking through to our souls desires
• Honored to support

Todays topic – what it means to hold the container and get the results you WANT

My experience of big goals and daily intentions/practices – a bit from my conversation with Edna – areas of growth for me around supporting my clients in declaring and creating results in their lives.

• Overarching goals “What do you want at the end of our work? How will you measure success?” This can be anything from potty trained toddlers (Katie’s reflection)/easier bedtime/deeper relationship with teens (Lorrianes feedback)/less yelling and more loving…
  • Some is easy to measure, some, not so much….
  • PLUS it is a pendulum swing
• Many. Small. Steps.

It is so important to set goals – that way you know where you are going.

• Cruise control vs being intentional
• Being intentional DOES require you to face some hard truths sometimes, to bump up against thoughts/ beliefs / emotions that maybe you have become really skilled at avoiding
• AND to live the fullest, most authentic life, we must make room for ALL of it – even the stuff that is hard

 Setting goals

• I have weekly, monthly, quarterly and annual goals
• They all feed into each other
• The baby steps I take during the week set up my for the monthly goals,etc
• The ANNUAL GOALS are the container (remember, I mentioned that earlier?)

 Living the practice

• It’s not even really about the goals, it is about the journey TO the goals.
• It is about going 100%
  • Reference Krista’s blog post about 100% is easy
  • https://boldlyembodylife.com/bold-notes/.
• It’s every moment of saying yes to the practice we have decided to commit to.
• “To be responsible, keep your promises to others, to be successful, keep your promises to yourself.” – Marie Forleo
  • what this means to me….
  • Yes to myself for myself
  • How that then influences the entire ecosystem around me
    • What do I mean by ecosystem?
    • What happens in a healthy environment? Everything is influenced

My goals for 2018

• Biz
  • Ok – you all know how completely passionate I am about Joyful Courage
    • Elevation with programs and podcast
    • Being my OWN sponsor
    • Continuously working to streamline the exchange of service <3
  • Family
    • SPECIAL TIME
      • Family meetings - VIGILANT
      • Small weekly “dates”
      • Monthly bigger “dates”
        • CONNECTION CONNECTION CONNECTION
      • Personal
        • HEALTH
          • Sacred mornings
          • Whole 30/ fueling my body with what it NEEDS
          • MOVEMENT – yoga every day

 Mistakes and compassion

• Ebbs and flows
• Stumbling blocks challenges
  • ALL OF THIS ^^ is a PART OF THE PATH
  • Wake up calls to more intention!
  • Things to CELEBRATE

Always moving forward

• What are your goals for 2018?
• What will you be practicing daily?
• How will you support yourself in this important work?
• Do you want a community?
  • SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS HERE

OH – also wanted to share my WORD OF THE YEAR!!!

• GRATITUDE
• Get yours at https://boldlyembodylife.com/word-of-the-year-2018/

:::::

Journey to Joy Ecourse

Journey to Joy is a 3 part offer. 

Each Module contains a video, audio and workbook to guide you in doing your work. 

You will increase your awareness around the areas you are stuck (you know, the irritation that never seems to go away... the exhaustion, the guilt and shame that shows up so often after you have "dealt with" the challenges your kids bring on a regular basis.

You will spend time exploring new choices, new ways of being...  Inviting in the qualities that are missing.  Love, compassion, self acceptance and non-judgement...  You will learn how to open up your body and allow these emotions in.

You will create a practice for teaching your body and mind a NEW pattern, making this new way of being more readily available when you need it.

SO EXCITED to share this with you!  Get more info and register at www.joyfulcourage.com/joy

:::::

All the goods at www.joyfulcourage.com/yes

Intention Bracelets

Back by popular demand!! The Joyful Courage intention bracelets are back in stock and I am THRILLED to have been able to have had the community vote on the reminders that are on them…. Breathe, Pause, Trust, Surrender, Kindness – what do you need?.

Joyful Courage SHIRTS

Women cut tanks and tees are ready for you to BUY NOW!!  Wearable reminders for how you want to show up in the world.

DAILY INTENTION CARDS

What do you think about the Daily Intention Cards???  These cards are designed to support you in your conscious, intentional parenting practice.

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on iTunes to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast on iTunes to help me spread the show to an ever larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!