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Joyful Courage - A Conscious Parenting Podcast

Joyful Courage is a Conscious Parenting Podcast. Be inspired, entertained and educated as we navigate the challenges and celebrations of choosing to be a conscious parent. Interviews and solo shows will provide listeners with tools, strategies and inspiration that can be directly applied to their parenting journey.
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Now displaying: 2019
Sep 17, 2019

Joyful Courage: Calming the drama and taking control of your parenting journey AUDIOBOOK will be available just in time for the Back to school season – it’s summer now, but soon we will all be looking at the transitions that come with fall. I am confident that the Joyful Courage audiobook will be a supportive companion as you ride it out with your kids – full of stories and tools that will connect you with self and others, the audiobook will be something you can listen to over and over and over again.  Keep staying tuned in for details as we get closer to launch day!! Follow Joyful Coruage on FB and IG, and sign up for my weekly newsletter at www.joyfulcourage.com/join

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Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

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 Hello! You have found yourself listening to Joyful Courage – and conscious parenting podcast, where we talk about the everyday challenges of parenting and HUMANING in a real and transparent way – I am your host, Casey O’Roarty. I am a Positive Discipline trainer and parent coach doing my very best to raise my own two teens agers in a way that grows their internal sense of being the creators of their own lives, and supporting other parents in doing the same with their kids.

The interviews and solo shows you will hear on this podcast are my explorations of how to be as authentic and mindful as we can be, while treating the fellow humans in our life, small and big, with the dignity and respect they all deserve.

If you like what you hear, please rate and review this show on apple podcasts. And stay tune till the end of the show to hear about how you can join the Joyful Courage community online.

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Yay! I’m back! I’ve missed you all!!! It isn’t often that I take time off of this podcast, and I am really grateful to have taken the past few weeks off.

Some of the things that went down included:

  • Working with three elementary schools here in Bellingham! Supporting the staff members with implementing Positive Discipline in the classroom

    • Shout out to teachers – they are on the font lines of making the world a better place, and just like all of us, doing the best they can with the tools they have. I have worked with many teachers doing the PD trainer, and I have come across some that are deeply discouraged, and others that are super encouraged and what they all have in common is that they show up each day for the kids in their class. And I just want to say that the ways that parents treat their children’s teacher makes all the difference. Build that relationship – it will benefit not only your child, but all the children in your child’s class because a teacher that feels connected to the families he or she serves is going to show up better – belonging and significance are not only what our kids need, it is what all humans need.

  • I launched the Parenting Teens with Positive Discipline Audio Summit Encore Offer!

    • I just couldn’t put these conversations to rest – they were so rich. I know that the whole online summit formula is to give you way more than you can consume in a short period of time and then sell you the whole thing so that you can actually get what you need at your own pace. I followed that formula last time and it felt weird…. I do need to make a living people, and the content I create does have significant value, and….  This felt weird to me. So what I did was I distilled down the content so that it is in bite sized pieces. And omg, going through these audios again was so amazing – I am in a different place than when I recorded these interviews and it really speaks into how our lenses, or our listening, changes over time….  Anyways, I had over 200 people tune into the summit and the feedback was so great!!!  If you missed it, I *am* selling the package, with all the interviews in full, for a limited time on my website. $49.

  • Another significant thing that went down in the last few weeks is that MY SON HAS STARTED AT HIS NEW SCHOOL!!! 

    • Remember, we moved? Do you remember that my son was not so excited? Actually, he was pretty pissed about the whole thing and had a pretty low key summer up here, worrying about what his new school and life was going ot look like.

      He did make one friend prior to school starting here in the neighborhood. Shout out to Leona who saw my post in the neighborhood moms FB group about looking for another 8th grader who likes basketball to hand out with my son and got in touch. They hit it off and it made a world of difference for Ian to have a friend walking into the first day.

      And just as I suspected, he was fine. Better than fine, he was like a celebrity. And that is how it’s been since school started. He is building a friend group full of really sweet, kind kids. I get to trust his judge of character and remember that Ian likes to be around kids that are nice and fun. Yay. Big exhale there.

 So the family is settling in well up here in Bellingham, super happy about the big move….

Today I want to talk about something that I brought to the Joyful Courage Super Fam group recently. Just to remind you, the Super Fam is a group of listeners who find so much value in the podcast that they are willing to give $10/month as a way of saying thank you. They have all received a half hour coaching call with me, and get to participate in a weekly FB Live that I do in our private group. If you are interested in finding out more, go to www.joyfulcourage.com and click the donate button on the navigation bar.

So anyways, I wanted to share what I was teasing apart with the group today for the podcast….

It’s the whole idea of “meeting our kids where they’re at” - We hear these words, but do we really know what they mean?

I really was reminded, over and over again as I curated the interviews for the teen summit, that relationship is everything. Relationship matters people. And often relationship is the starting place for any kind of problem solving/solution finding to happen. We have to pay attention to relationship. Its super foundational, right?

And sometimes, our kids behavior has more to do with how they are feeling inside of relationship with us than anything else – so doing the work to be connected, non-judemental, curious, present, vulnerable, transparent and honest makes a huge difference.

Plus, when our kids are having a hard time, and the relationship isn’t there, the idea that we can meet them where they’re at just isn’t possible. It isn’t possible. Our kids feel met when they feels seen and heard and understood.

So yes, PSA for building relationship. Do it. Work on it al the time. Ask your kids how they know that you love them. Ask them what they think YOU think about them. Get curious to find out what their experience is of you and then listen without talking. Listen. Take it in. And adjust accordingly….

Ok. Back to meeting them where they’re at.

When our kids are having a hard time, when humans are having a hard time – they don’t want to be fixed, and cajoled out of their experience, they want to feel felt. They want to know that you are there with them. They want to know that you see them in their experience. And if your kids are teenagers – they DON’T want to hear what you think about it.

I repeat – teenagers DO NOT want your opinion. They just want you to see them.

Believe me, this is tough. Because I have a lot of opinion. I am a fixer – you have heard me say this before. I am a coach – I COACH PEOPLE TO CREATE RESULTS IN THEIR LIVES AND RELATIONSHIPS – why the HELL wouldn’t my kids want me to coach them????

Oh right, I am their mom.

 And they’re teenagers.

Meeting our kids where they’re at is being present inside of an open mind. Allowing yourself (yes you, parent) to be in the space of not knowing, not judging, not opinion-ing, simply BEING with your child.

Now, there may be some mirroring – “you really thought you would get that job and you didn’t” or “you were playing with that game and your brother came over and grabbed it” or “you were telling a story at dinner and were interrupted” – stating what you are hearing out loud for your child to hear.

There may be some validating of feelings, “I bet that feels discouraging” or “that must have been annoying” or “I’m wondering if that hurt your feelings?” but remember that you are just MAKING A GUESS HERE. And that ALL FEELINGS THEY ARE HAVING ARE VALID.

Because, if you are a normal parent, there has probably been a time where you child has shared what is bothering them and how they are feeling and you may have dismissed it or told them “you don’t have to feel that way” or some other you’re -getting-it-wrong kind of response. We all do this from time to time when we are less that conscious of what we are doing. Not judging, just highlighting. And you may have been right – AND the way our kids feel about their experiences are incredibly valid to them, and dismissing that is just plain RUDE.

Yup. Meeting them where they’re at sometimes requires us to not say what we want to say. Sometimes it requires patience and waiting for the opportunity to ask permission. “Can I share an idea with you?” or “Can I tell you what I think?” and being ok with them saying “no” or “not right now”

You all know about the flipping of the lid – the brain science of when we are triggered and don’t have access to our thoughtful, logical mind. If you don’t, go to www.joyfulcourage.com/teachbrain to find out more.

Brain science tells us that meeting our kids or any human where there as is really about being with them during their hard time. That the being with is actually what will build the bridge back to that logical, thoughtful brain, and open the space for our kids to have problems solving conversations or simply to open up more to us about what is going on in their life.

Meeting them where they’re at is about where they are in the moment. The moment holds so much information too, right?

And I think next level is recognizing what is happening for US in the moment. In PD this is the first step for finding the Belief Behind the Behavior.

 Are we annoyed as a response to their behavior? Angry? Hurt? Hopeless??  Let’s get clear on the ways we are feelilng, like, deep down, and we can start to understand what is going on for them….  Feeling annoyed typically means our kids are feeling disconnected and are looking to be recognized and acknowledged, feeling angry, like our hackles get raised typically means that our kids are feeling powerless and are looking for control where they can get it – hurt? You can guess that our kids are hurting and passing it along…. Hopeless? That is an indicator that our kids are feeling significantly less than perfect and would rather you not take time to notice…. 

Now, this isn’t our child or teen being naughty, bad, or misbahving, this is our child or teen navigated their world using the lens they have. So this INFORMATION can help us meet them where they are at to connect and be present to what they need.

So good. And it takes work. It requires we adults do what we need to do to have a clear enough mind to recognize what is happening when it’s happening, you know what I mean?

 But but but – my teen is so disrespectful, or they’re lying, or they just don’t care….  Meet them where they are. Be with them. Deepen and nurture the relationship you have with them. Support them in feeling felt. Validate them – and then use curiosity to understand even deeper and find solutions that are useful to them.

WHEW!!!!!!!

I know….

So I have a resource for you. If you are listening and nodding your head and thinking yes yes yes and I could use some support IVE GOT YOU!

I am running the JCA again. This will be the fourth round of this, the third time I have focused on teens. But this time there will be two tracks – those of you with tweens and preteens, I see you and I am hearing your feedback. I am going to run a track for parents with kids in middle school as well as a track for kids with older, high school and beyond kids.

The program will start September 30th and registration is open now.

Go to my website – joyfulcourage.com/jcapt and dial it in. The program consists of weekly content – and I am taking what I have been sharing as audio and adding a “webinar-ish” component for those of you that are visual learners – an active community, and a 90 minute one on one call with me to go deep into what your individual challenges are. YES! I am only taking 15 people in each track so if you are into it head over to www.joyfulcourage.com/jcapt right now and get yourself registered.

This program is an investment. It is an investment in time and money. And considering what we tend to easily spend money on, isn’t THIS, our relationship with our growing kids, worth the investment???

www.joyfulcourage.com/jcapt check it out and make it happen, space is limited.

Thank you for listening!!!  You can always get MORE Joyful Courage by following me on IG and FB and joining the conversation in my FB Groups – Live and love with Joyful Courage and Joyful Courage for Parents of Teens. Check out my website for more offers like my BOOK, soon to be in AUDIOBOOK FORMAT, one on one coaching and the archive of this podcast.

Signing off for today my friends and leaving you with this ….pause, take a deep breath, ride it into your body, step up to the balcony seat and trust that everything is going to be ok.

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Parenting Teens with Positive Discipline Audio Summit FOREVER PACKAGE

15 interviews that highlight all the things that show up during the teen years. !5 experts in Positive Discipline who KNOW the world of parenting teens joined me in powerful, useful conversations that I know you will love.

Click here to buy the Forever Package.

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GET THE BOOK!

Joyful Courage: Calming the drama and taking control of your parenting journey

This book is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access to the tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child.

THE BOOK IS READY FOR YOU TO BUY– Go to www.joyfulcourage.com/book

The best way to stay up to date on the book news is to join my newsletter list, if you haven’t already.  Sign up at www.joyfulcourage.com/join

Thank you to everyone that has been so encouraging on this journey!!!  I appreciate you!!!!

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Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

Aug 20, 2019

HEYYYY!!

This isn't a full episode - just a quick announcement letting listeners know that the show is going to take a month off and come back strong September 17th - woop woop.

Listen in and find out how to stay connected.

Big love,

Casey

Aug 14, 2019

Joyful Courage: Calming the drama and taking control of your parenting journey AUDIOBOOK will be available just in time for the Back to school season – it’s summer now, but soon we will all be looking at the transitions that come with fall. I am confident that the Joyful Courage audiobook will be a supportive companion as you ride it out with your kids – full of stories and tools that will connect you with self and others, the audiobook will be something you can listen to over and over and over again.  Keep staying tuned in for details as we get closer to launch day!! Follow Joyful Coruage on FB and IG, and sign up for my weekly newsletter at www.joyfulcourage.com/join

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Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

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Today is a SOLO SHOW!

First, how about a community celebration for the 200TH EPISODE of the Joyful Courage Podcast!!!  WOOP WOOP!! It is so exciting to reach this milestone with you all...  Along with the fact that the podcast has been downloaded over 550,000 times!! I am so deeply grateful and honored that I get to show up for you each week and that what I create is useful to you....

In honor of the 200th show, I actually have a BRAND NEW SOLO SHOW to share this week. I got some pretty powerful feedback from my teen daughter about my parenting style and the messages she is getting through how I show up and talk to her.

Granted, we are navigating some new territory, and have recently been in some tricky discussions. And at the end of the day, I don't always know what the right thing to do is...  You out there with teens may know what I mean, the conversation may sound like this:

Teenager: "But, why can't I ___?"

Parent (racking brain for the perfect , logical answer):  "I'm not sure, mostly ___ just feels like it should be a hard no...."

And then you are left feeling like maybe you are holding on to old beliefs, or perhaps it is what other people will think that is getting in the way, or maybe you are having one of those "can you just not tell me and get a little sneaky" moments (yes, these thoughts exist for me too).

While we all want open, honest relationships with our kids - the open honesty brings with it a BUNCH of challenges that catch you off guard. 

And honestly, I don't always know the right answer, it's not always neat and tidy over here, AND, it turns out, sometimes my daughter feels like a a giving permission, when really, I am just unsure of what to say do. 

You guys. It is so messy.

And this is what I am sharing on the podcast this week. I hope you love it. 

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Parenting Teens with Positive Discipline Audio Summit ENCORE OFFER

The Parenting Teens with Positive Discipline Audio Summit first went live in January of 2019. I gave participants each interview in its entirety, for a week of learning. It was a LOT of content for busy overwhelmed parents, so I built a curated navigation system, to help guide and support and I am sharing with you.

I have organized some of the many powerful messages from the interviews and complied them around the themes that are important to get us started.

Those themes include:

  • Hot topics like screens, sex, body image, risky behavior

  • Deepening our understanding of this time of life, for both your teen and you, as a parent

  • Strategies for maintaining and nurturing your relationship

  • Settling in when it gets messy

  • Doing our work to get out of their way

The Encore Offer is my gift - free to you.  I think this wisdom is so important, I wanted to share with as many parents as possible.  And I encourage you to share with others!

We will have more opportunities to discuss working together, but for the time being, I recommend just start by  registering and join this learning experience.

Register now: http://www.joyfulcourage.com/tsfall19

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GET THE BOOK!

Joyful Courage: Calming the drama and taking control of your parenting journey 

This book is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access to the tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child. 

THE BOOK IS READY FOR YOU TO BUY– Go to www.joyfulcourage.com/book

The best way to stay up to date on the book news is to join my newsletter list, if you haven’t already.  Sign up at www.joyfulcourage.com/join

Thank you to everyone that has been so encouraging on this journey!!!  I appreciate you!!!!

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

Jul 30, 2019

Joyful Courage: Calming the drama and taking control of your parenting journey AUDIOBOOK will be available just in time for the Back to school season – it’s summer now, but soon we will all be looking at the transitions that come with fall. I am confident that the Joyful Courage audiobook will be a supportive companion as you ride it out with your kids – full of stories and tools that will connect you with self and others, the audiobook will be something you can listen to over and over and over again.  Keep staying tuned in for details as we get closer to launch day!! Follow Joyful Coruage on FB and IG, and sign up for my weekly newsletter at www.joyfulcourage.com/join

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Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

::::

Hey friends! Welcome back to Joyful Courage – a conscious parenting podcast, where we get real and raw about the parenting journey. You have tuned in to another SUMMER SERIES EPISODE!!  This week I am super excited to bring back my conversation from TWO YEARS AGO, Episode 98, with Kerry Foreman. I am THRILLED to be sharing this conversation with you. Kerry is someone that I follow on Instagram and am continuously inspired by how she shows up in the world.

Kerry has an online program for teens that is based in mindfulness.  It is a 4 week research based course will allow your teen to develop beginning mindfulness skills and cultivate a mindfulness practice that will reduce stress and improve their mental health. Your teen will become empowered to take control of their well being, become more aware of thoughts and behaviors leading to higher accountability, increase their self esteem, and find an inner happiness not attached to anything external.

Kerry Foreman is a Registered Psychotherapist, with her Masters in Clinical Mental Health Counseling. She is passionate about Mindfulness and has been practicing and teaching for 4 years. Kerry lives in Monument, Colorado with her patient husband, a teenager, a tween and two rescue dogs, Norman and Fern.  Through using Mindfulness to increase her self awareness, she realized that during her childhood she had learned and practiced faulty coping skills. She targeted them one by one, and slowly changed the cycles of her family, learned new behaviors, and worked to create new, positive habits for life. She did this in order to have a successful marriage and to be the kind of Mom she wanted to be. She is passionate about her ability to create change. Change your thinking and it changes your life.

What you’ll hear in this episode:

  • Recognition of FOO (Family of Origin) patterns and the call to make changes
  • Psychological/verbal/emotional abuse trains us react rather than respond
  • Noticing patterns such as shame, guilt and anger – where do they originate?
  • Becoming a parent can bring these to the surface. How do we recognize where we need to change?
  • Learning to respond instead if react
  • Understand and reflect on our own parents’ experience
  • Creating change and becoming aware of our own inner state of being
  • Mindfulness practice influences the shift into better relationships
  • How do we become grounded in order to stay balanced and present in mind no matter what is happening around us?
  • Where control plays a role in mindfulness and the contrast in anxiety
  • What do we chose to believe – what is the story we play in our minds?
  • Self talk of being a victim – recognizing the language
  • Expectations of others and how to stay mindful and in control while at the same time releasing what we are not in control of.

What does Joyful Courage mean to me?

“Joyful Courage is finding the joy in being brave enough to parent differently. Finding a new path in order to allow our kids to be who they were meant to be.”

Where to find Kerry:

YouTube l Facebook l Twitter l BLOG

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Upcoming Programs from Joyful Courage

Hey all, just reminding you that I am getting ready for the fall. I have decided to RE-RELEASE the Parenting Teens with Positive Discipline Audio Summit in September, and then follow it with TWO Academy tracks in October – one for the 12-14ish crowd, and another for the parents of 15-18+ kids.

The summit is 15 interviews released over the course of a week. You have access during that week to listen. You also will have the option to purchase the interviews if you would like unlimited access. 

The Joyful Courage Academy is a FIVE WEEK course is a learning opportunity for parents of teens that includes content, community and a powerful one on one call with me.

I am so excited!!!  Make sure that you are all signed up for my newsletter so that you get all the info about how to sign up!!  www.joyfulcourage.com/join

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And don’t forget there are lots of powerful convos happening over in the Live and Love with Joyful Courage and the Joyful Courage Parents of Teens group on FB – ask to join!

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GET THE BOOK!

Joyful Courage: Calming the drama and taking control of your parenting journey

This book is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access to the tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child. 

THE BOOK IS READY FOR YOU TO BUY– Go to www.joyfulcourage.com/book

The best way to stay up to date on the book news is to join my newsletter list, if you haven’t already.  Sign up at www.joyfulcourage.com/join

Thank you to everyone that has been so encouraging on this journey!!!  I appreciate you!!!!

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

Jul 23, 2019

Joyful Courage: Calming the drama and taking control of your parenting journey AUDIOBOOK will be available just in time for the Back to school season – it’s summer now, but soon we will all be looking at the transitions that come with fall. I am confident that the Joyful Courage audiobook will be a supportive companion as you ride it out with your kids – full of stories and tools that will connect you with self and others, the audiobook will be something you can listen to over and over and over again.  Keep staying tuned in for details as we get closer to launch day!! Follow Joyful Coruage on FB and IG, and sign up for my weekly newsletter at www.joyfulcourage.com/join

::::

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

::::

 

Hey friends! Welcome back to Joyful Courage – a conscious parenting podcast, where we get real and raw about the parenting journey. You have tuned in to another SUMMER SERIES EPISODE!!  This week I am bringing back my conversation with Kim Muench. Kim has been on the show a couple of times, but this episode we dig into how the parenting teens experience can really feel like a tight rope walk. Consider the content of LAST WEEK’s show, I thought it would be helpful to share this conversation.

 

Kim is a JAI Institute for Parenting certified parenting coach who works with moms of preteens and teenagers. She is the mother of 5 kids ages 13-31. She writes about conscious parenting, provides one on one coaching and workshops to help support moms towards intentional parenting. We are discussing detaching from the outcome. Join us!

What you’ll hear in this episode:

- When children arrive at adolescence
- The balance of boundaries and relationship building with our teens
- Choosing your battles
- Defining your family values
- Setting an example for your kids
- Defining non-negotiables
- Ways to offer choices to your teenager
- Detaching from the outcome
- Prioritizing personal care and personal development
- The illusion of control
- Individuation and what that can look like
- Supporting our kids in making better choices with alcohol
- Being okay with kids failing or things taking longer
- Trusting vs hovering - learning to detach
- Taking a long view to your relationship with your kids

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

Joyful Courage means to me enthusiastically embracing and supporting the journey of our sons and daughters that have come into the world to live out their journey. Supporting and encouraging them with enthusiasm. And I love the two words together, I think it’s fantastic.

Resources:

Episode 82: Tweens and Smart Phones

Where to find:

Website | Facebook | Twitter | Facebook Group Real Life Parenting Community

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Joyful Courage: Calming the drama and taking control of your parenting journey

 

This book is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access to the tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child.

 

THE BOOK IS READY FOR YOU TO BUY– Go to www.joyfulcourage.com/book

 

The best way to stay up to date on the book news is to join my newsletter list, if you haven’t already.  Sign up at www.joyfulcourage.com/join

 

Thank you to everyone that has been so encouraging on this journey!!!  I appreciate you!!!!

 

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

Jul 16, 2019

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

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Today I am bringing back my conversation with Liz Blackwell-Moore from episode 128. Liz and I go deep into the conversation of substance use and abuse and how to be in relationship with our kids while also navigating the very real decisions they may or may not decide to make. I know, this topic is tough. We all want our kid to be safe and healthy…. And we all feel the fear around the very real risks some of them take. This conversation is powerful and left me feeling more grounded about this super intense part of the parenting teens journey. Check it out.

Alright - My guest today is Liz Blackwell-Moore. I connected with Liz through my friend, and one of your fave podcast guests, Julietta Skoog from besproutable.com. I am so excited to have Liz on today to talk about an incredibly relevant topic – kids and drugs. GAH. I know. No one really WANTS to talk about this, but we have to.

Liz has been working in the field of substance use since 2000. Her current work involves working with community coalitions and organizations to provide training on prevention strategies as well as technical assistance to translate public health research into practice and implement a restorative trauma-informed approach to addressing public health problems.

So basically, Liz is going to break it all down for us in a way that is helpful.  She lives in Portland, Maine with her wife, two happy kids, and a puppy.

Content:

 

  • Liz shares about her early work with people involved with substance abuse and was drawn to exploring prevention work
  • How can we make “systems” (including the family) better for young people, with more support in their lives?
  • What the “risk taking years” feels like, according to Casey
  • Liz shares her moms’ analogy of the two boats
  • Adolescent brain development
    • It’s like a house being build bottom up
    • Built through interactions and the environment kids experience
    • Reward center develops first – ready to go, “volume turned up”
    • Front, logical part of brain not fully developed, and not integrated
    • W/o the desire to try new things, how would they ever leave home??
  • The perception and science of marijuana and adolescence
    • National Academy of Sciences – research on the research
      • Young people using
        • Impacts learning and memory
        • Significant effects on mental health
          • “Regular use” – once every 30 days
          • 2xs more likely to become depressed
          • 3xs more likely to have suicidal thoughts
          • Kids with MH issues are more likely to use/self-medicate
        • Initially make people feel calm/relaxed
          • Brain likes to do what’s easy so eventually wants more
        • What about vaping
          • Tobacco companies are SO LAME – trying to suck in kids
          • Some kids just the flavoring
            • Not regulated – we don’t know what is in it
          • Lots of kids ARE putting nicotine and weed into the vape
        • All drugs impact the reward center of the brain – putting young people at a greater risk of addiction later in life
          • Rewires/primes the brain for addiction
        • How do we get them to wait????
        • Relationship is the most powerful tool we have… Share our values… AND – THEY HAVE CRAZY REWARD CENTERS!!! GAH!!!
          • Be present, listen, develop a strong relationship
          • Set clear expectations – bring it up in a variety of ways
          • Continue to bring it back to what their goals are, how might risky behavior get in the way?
          • Help them to “see” the bigger picture
          • Restorative practices: Hold them accountable while offering support
            • What are you getting out of this?
            • What were you thinking?
            • How else can you get thrills?
            • Social connection?
            • Is this a mental health issue?
          • Having these conversations REQUIRES the adults to be in solid relationship with their kids
          • Also, our stuff shows up and gets in the way – fear, rigidity
          • Ok to say, “this is disappointing” “this is hard for me” – they need to know how they are impacting their parents
          • Teens aren’t great with nuance
          • SLEEP MATTERS!!
          • Natural consequences are powerful
          • Boundaries are MESSY
          • How do we balance nurture and structure?? It’s a dance
          • How do we know when it really is a problem?
            • Major changes in physical appearance
            • Personality
            • Participation
            • Peer group changes
            • Public image has changed
          • org – online resources
          • 20-minute guide – helping parents use motivational interviewing 20inuteguide.com
          • Find your people!
          • There is uncertainty and change AND we all have flexible, learning brains – we can be resilient!!

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

For me it means trying to see those amazing things that are happening as you move through adolescence – having the courage to stick with your values and follow our instincts…

Resources:
https://the20minuteguide.com/
http://www.drugfree.org/

Good reading on the teen brain:
Dan Siegel Brainstorm
Francis Jensen The Teenage Brain

Links for young people:
http://www.teen.drugabuse.gov/
*This is National Institute of Drug Abuse website for teens

http://www.protectwhatsnext.com/
*This is a website out of Colorado for young people specifically about marijuana use

Where to find Liz:

Birchlanestrategies.com (under-construction)
Linked in

 

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Joyful Courage: Calming the drama and taking control of your parenting journey

 

This book is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access to the tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child.

 

THE BOOK IS READY FOR YOU TO BUY– Go to www.joyfulcourage.com/book

 

The best way to stay up to date on the book news is to join my newsletter list, if you haven’t already.  Sign up at www.joyfulcourage.com/join

 

Thank you to everyone that has been so encouraging on this journey!!!  I appreciate you!!!!

 

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

Jul 9, 2019

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

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Today we are going wayyyyy back to revisit Episode 21, my conversation with Jessica Lahey about what it means to be an “autonomy supportive” parents.

This was such a powerful revisit for me, four years later, as my kids settle into the teen years and all the challenges and celebrations they get to navigate. I would love to take away the pain and confusion that comes with this time – AND I know that my kids will have their deepest learning through experience…

Such a great conversation!

Jessica Lahey is smart and funny and real when it comes to talking straight up about how we rob our kids of their future when we protect the from failure...

 

It doesn't matter if they are in the sandbox or a high school classroom, our kids only learn the tools for relationship, empathy and resiliency when we (parents) allow them the gift of discomfort, making mistakes and yes, failure.

Listen in to this candid conversation and consider where you could pull back a bit, where you could allow your kids a little bit more room to learn from their missteps, to own when they've hurt someone, to problem solve it when they've left their homework or lunch at home (again!)...

We all love our kids, we want them to grow into the fullest, best versions of themselves, sometimes that requires us to back off and let them figure some things out...  You may be surprised by just how capable they are!

Mentions:

The book: The Gift of Failure by Jessica Lahey
The article in the Atlantic that started it all: Why Parents Need to Let Their Children Fail
Why Back to School Night Made Me Feel Like a Bad Mom
Glennon Doyle Melton on momastry.com 
How to Raise and Adult by Julie Lythcott-Haims
The Price of Privilege by Madeline Levine

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Joyful Courage: Calming the drama and taking control of your parenting journey

 

This book is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access to the tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child.

 

THE BOOK IS READY FOR YOU TO BUY– Go to www.joyfulcourage.com/book

 

The best way to stay up to date on the book news is to join my newsletter list, if you haven’t already.  Sign up at www.joyfulcourage.com/join

 

Thank you to everyone that has been so encouraging on this journey!!!  I appreciate you!!!!

 

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

Jul 3, 2019

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

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Today we are going to revisit Episode 138, my conversation with Genevieve Simperingham about what peaceful parenting during the teen years looks like.

Genevieve Simperingham is a counsellor, an AWARE parenting educator, a writer, a group facilitator, meditation teacher and founder of the Peaceful Parent Institute in New Zealand. Over the last 24 years, Genevieve has presented hundreds of workshops and courses. She has parented her own kids using attachment principles and she seeks to empower parents with the tools that result in increased harmony, trust and cooperation in the family unit. We are discussing peaceful parenting our teenagers. Join us!

“It’s about bringing into your parenting not just how you should respond in this situation or in that situation and our different approaches and techniques (which are really, really important) but it’s all about who we are as a person and who our child is as a person and the dynamic and the energy between us.”

“We shouldn’t be in fighter stance simply because we have teenagers.”

What you’ll hear in this episode: 

  • What is peaceful parenting and how it is different than some of the more mainstream behaviorist parenting approaches.
  • The Centre, Connect, Communicate approach
  • Stress management, self care and healing trauma and how they relate to parenting
  • The need for authenticity in empathy and curiosity
  • The biggest hang-ups for parents around peaceful parenting teenagers
  • Having tough conversations with your teens without shorting out the connection at the outset
  • Setting and holding limits within the peaceful parenting framework
  • Sex, drugs and alcohol use in teens - is it better to allow at home or to restrict?
  • Reducing power struggles and rebellion
  • Educating and empowering teens to make their own choices
  • Reconnecting to move past conflict

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

Joyful courage to me, it connects me with that last bit that we were just talking about, to me it’s about joy we feel in the heart and it takes a lot of courage to reconnect. So to me it’s about opening the heart and allowing the joy, the enjoyment of the relationship, of the connection to come back in and that takes courage. It takes courage to be vulnerable again. It’s easier to be hard and defensive and stern and it takes courage to open the heart come back to the joy of that beautiful connection again.

Resources:

Aware parenting

Where to find Genevieve:

The way of the Peaceful Parent Facebook Group
Facebook
Website

:::::

Joyful Courage: Calming the drama and taking control of your parenting journey

This book is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access to the tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child.

THE BOOK IS READY FOR YOU TO BUY– Go to www.joyfulcourage.com/book

The best way to stay up to date on the book news is to join my newsletter list, if you haven’t already.  Sign up at www.joyfulcourage.com/join

Thank you to everyone that has been so encouraging on this journey!!!  I appreciate you!!!!

 

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

Jun 25, 2019

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

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Today’s show is a revisit of Episode 57,  my conversation with Sharon Ballantine.

With 3 children to parent, Sharon turned to books for help with parenting, but she never had the time to read and process the information in the books. So, with no other options available to her, she decided to rely on her own intuition and her own Internal Guidance System for parenting. She began using this technique and the law of attraction to manifest exactly what she wanted as a parent. In this episode, Sharon shares exactly how she made it all happen!

 

Sharon Ballantine is a Parenting and Life Coach and Founder of the Ballantine Parenting Institute. Her book, The Art of Blissful Parenting, guides parents with practical as well as spiritual advice in raising their children. It also guides parents on how to get into alignment, discover and use their own IGS before they can teach their children.

In this episode Sharon also discusses:

  • How to find answers within yourself
  • You have an internal guidance system that begins with your feelings
  • Why leaving the room can help you get “in alignment” to parent
  • Physical movement can be a tool to help bring you into a centered place of alignment
  • Changing the subject that is causing stress and bad energy can cause a shift in energy
  • The teenage years are the years of “personal discovery”
  • Parents spend the teen years in fear mode and resort to using control
  • Whoever a teenager is today is not their final destination. Be patient; they will change.
  • Why we want to avoid making our children feel bad at all costs
  • Staying centered will give you the coping skills to deal with any kind of crazy you have to deal with
  • “This too shall pass” - it is true especially for teens
  • Ways to deal with teen behavior that is harmful
  • Focusing on the future and consequences of actions can allow a teen to take responsibility and look at the big picture
  • How to support your child’s development of their Internal Guidance System
  • Ways her failures as a parent contributed to finding her Internal Guidance System
  • What joyful courage means to her and how it contributes to bliss

Resources Mentioned on the Show:

 The Secret - Rhonda Byrne

The Art of Blissful Parenting - Sharon Ballantine

Connect with Sharon:

Website - sharonballantine.com

 Facebook/sharonballantine

Twitter/LifeCoachSB

 

:::::

 

Joyful Courage: Calming the drama and taking control of your parenting journey

 

This book is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access to the tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child.

 

THE BOOK IS READY FOR YOU TO BUY– Go to www.joyfulcourage.com/book

 

The best way to stay up to date on the book news is to join my newsletter list, if you haven’t already.  Sign up at www.joyfulcourage.com/join

 

Thank you to everyone that has been so encouraging on this journey!!!  I appreciate you!!!!

 

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

Jun 18, 2019

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

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Today’s guest is Shelley Francis. Shelly is an audiologist specializing in auditory processing disorder, and has been working with children for over 25 years. Over the years she has noticed a trend where more and more children are being seen as extra sensitive, not only with their physical senses but with their inner senses as well. By using her own sensitivities, she looks past a child's diagnosis and connects with their heart.

Today Shelly remains motivated by both her passion to help children and her unique perspective in childhood development, which she has described in her book, No Child Left Unwrapped:  Understanding and Honoring the Gifts Every Child is Born With. It's her hope that her book and her teachings will help create the needed paradigm shifts within our education system and within our society that will better support our beautiful sensory sensitive children of today. Join us!

 

“Often we pigeonhole these children thinking that they need to be a certain way to be successful and then they can't be successful because that's not their nature. ”

 

“There's so much more information out there to receive than just information through our five senses.”

 

“Everybody needs to know that they're awesome.”

 

“These children then just feel like there's, there's so much wrong with them, but they're never really getting what's right with them, what's good with them, what's awesome about them.”

 

“Often the problem we see is a solution to a problem that we don't know about”

 

“We are always looking at the external for the answer. What if the answer is someplace else?”

 

“Nobody can deny the fact that we need more people that are empathic or empathetic and compassionate. And that's what we're getting.”

 

“Let's help our kids when they're young or as early as possible so they don't have to go through as much of these challenges that we've had to go through, that other sensitive people have had to go through in the past.”

 

“Entangled trauma for a sensitive soul is a recipe for disaster.”

 

What you’ll hear in this episode:

  • The difference between differences and disorder
  • The need to recognize and honor differences
  • Sensory differences - what are they and how do you recognize them?
  • Sensory information, behavior and how they intersect
  • The challenges of living heart wide open for kids who haven’t learned how to release the energy of others
  • Baby steps for supporting sensitive kids
  • The role of meditation as a tool
  • Resilience: what it means and how we develop it
  • Trauma, sensitivity and visualization to create filters for energy

 

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

Well it's, it's definitely, you know, joy and courage are two of the beautiful inner gifts that live in our heart. And it's funny you asked that because I, before the interview I actually was was thinking to myself that, you know, I was a little nervous about this. This is all new to me. Putting out a book was new to me, you know, I was very comfortable sitting in my office and having people come to me for so many years and now I'm going out into the world in a different way of being seen and heard and it can cause a little bit of anxiety and you know, nervous about it. But what I thought about was that, you know, tap into my own gifts of the heart and realize that joy and courage help me to get through being nervous about coming out and being seen and heard. So joy and courage are beautiful gifts of the heart that we can develop in our children that can help them navigate this world.

 

Resources:

No Child Left Unwrapped:  Understanding and Honoring the Gifts Every Child is Born With

 

Where to find Shelly:

https://meetshelley.com/

Facebook

 

 

:::::

 

Joyful Courage: Calming the drama and taking control of your parenting journey

 

This book is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access to the tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child.

 

THE BOOK IS READY FOR YOU TO BUY– Go to www.joyfulcourage.com/book

 

The best way to stay up to date on the book news is to join my newsletter list, if you haven’t already.  Sign up at www.joyfulcourage.com/join

 

Thank you to everyone that has been so encouraging on this journey!!!  I appreciate you!!!!

 

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

Jun 11, 2019

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

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Hey friends! 

Can’t believe that it is nearly halfway through June!

-       Book launch – IG Giveaway

-       JCA Teens program

-       NASAP and TP

-       Looking ahead at the summer

-       Planning for next fall

o   More JCA Teens

o   Possible JCA Tweens/Preteens

o   Live workshops/classes

Today I want to get back to basics.

I am a Positive Discipline Trainer. My recent time in Tucson at NASAP and co-facilitating the TP has brought me back to the building blocks of positive discipline…. I am also finding myself on exploratory calls with new clients who are eager to do one on one work and looking for resources to share what the philosophy of PD is all about, with the Joyful Courage spin, or course.

So, I decided I would do a show about it. I am excited to share, and if you are someone who feels like you know all about PD, I invite you to listen from a place of curiosity and wonder – to catch yourself when you think “I know all of this” and shift into “what is here for me to learn?”

 Because that is one of my favorite things about this work – there are so many layers. Right when I think “oh yeah, NOW I get it” life throws me something new, or my kids step into a new place of development, or I just simply find myself back in my old ways of thinking (because it is so darn familiar) and I realize, yet again, that there is more to learn….

Excited? Me too.

A lot of people hear the words, Positive Discipline and assume that it is all about being nice while we dole out consequences to our kids. Or they get really stuck on the word “positive “ and think it is all about being permissive and letting our kids run the show. Some people mistakenly believe that PD parents don’t ever want their kids to feel bad, and perhaps lump PD with helicoptering, coddling or enabling our kids.

 This is totally NOT what PD is all about. To start, one thing I really appreciate about Positive Discipline is that it is a program that has it’s roots in Adlerian Psychology. Alfred Adler was one of the first social psychologists. He worked with individuals and families and found, time and time again, that human behavior was motivated by a sense of belonging and significance. He found that we are always moving towards, or moving from, our sense of connection and knowing that we matter.  And when behavior starts to look like mischief, it can be linked back to the individuals perception of belonging and significance. Jane Nelsen, the author and co-author of the library of Positive Discipline books, talks about belonging and significance as our longing for love and responsibility.

 

-       Kind and firm

-       Belonging and significance

-       Mutual respect/dignity for all

-       Encouragement

-       Social interest

-       Take time for training

-       The courage to be imperfect/mistakes as opportunities to learn

-       We always have a choice

:::::

Joyful Courage: Calming the drama and taking control of your parenting journey

 This book is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access to the tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child.

THE BOOK IS READY FOR YOU TO BUY– Go to www.joyfulcourage.com/book

The best way to stay up to date on the book news is to join my newsletter list, if you haven’t already.  Sign up at www.joyfulcourage.com/join

 Thank you to everyone that has been so encouraging on this journey!!!  I appreciate you!!!!

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

Jun 4, 2019

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

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Today’s guest is Lahana Vigliano. Lahana is a certified clinical nutritionist and CEO of Thrival Nutrition. She has her Bachelor's degree in Nutrition Science and currently is pursuing her Master's degree in Nutrition Science. Lahana and her team help support women who struggle with weight loss, hormone imbalances, digestive issues, chronic fatigue, and many other lingering issues that leaves women not feeling their best. She uses food as medicine as well as herbs and supplements when needed to support her clients. She looks at the whole body holistically, making sure women are understanding how nutrition, sleep, stress, and their environment impact their health. She creates tons of free resources on her blog, www.thrivalnutrition.com. We’re going to be discussing nutrition and stress. Join us!

 

“In the question of “Am I doing enough?” We often are actually doing too much..”

“Everybody's going to be okay if their schedule isn't completely jam-packed.”

“We miss self-care opportunities just because we aren't in the mindset of recognizing that we're having a self-care opportunity”

“Change isn't going to happen just because you want it to happen, but it will happen when we step into action.”

 

What you’ll hear in this episode:

  • What is cortisol and what does it do?
  • How cortisol impacts brain growth in kids
  • Most common stressors among parents
  • How sleep interacts with cortisol
  • Cortisol, appetite, and cravings
  • Self-care and reframing what that looks like
  • How much sleep we should be getting to maintain optimal health
  • Finding time for sleep and self-care
  • The stories we tell ourselves about food
  • Making food prep easier
  • Creating barriers around foods that don’t serve us
  • Easy protein sources
  • Ways to make vegetables more accessible
  • Self-limiting beliefs around the scarcity of time and resources
  • Learning to give yourself grace
  • The power of doing something you love
  • Prioritizing self-care to be able to care for others

 

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

So I think just, as my life as a mom, a business owner, a wife, I think it just means to really live life to the fullest, you know, having no fear and just being filled with joy with everything that you do, no matter what season, no matter what time in your life because it's meant to be because it's building me up to be the person God created me to be. So I'm just kind of going through life with that mantra.

 

Resources:

Under Pressure by Lisa Damour

Recipes on Lahana’s website

 

Where to find Lahana:

www.thrivalnutrition.com

Facebook

Instagram  

Thrival Nutrition Podcast

 

:::::

 

Joyful Courage: Calming the drama and taking control of your parenting journey

 

This book is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access to the tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child.

 

THE BOOK IS READY FOR YOU TO BUY– Go to www.joyfulcourage.com/book

 

The best way to stay up to date on the book news is to join my newsletter list, if you haven’t already.  Sign up at www.joyfulcourage.com/join

 

Thank you to everyone that has been so encouraging on this journey!!!  I appreciate you!!!!

 

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

May 28, 2019

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

 

Hey everybody!!!!  So happy to be back with you for another solo show – SO MUCH HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!

 

When I work with clients, I always start the hour with a grounding meditation, because I think we should ALL be dropping into the present moment more often, and then I ask, “What are you celebrating?”

 

I love this question because it reminds my clients that there is always something to celebrate, something to look at as a gift. I know that sometimes if feels like a stretch, but when we challenge ourselves to find some gratitude, it shifts the energy, and opens up more possibilities.

 

I am going to start this show with my own celebrations:

 

First, I am celebrating all of the LOVE that the community has showered me with throughout this book launch – you people are AMAZING – thank you for the reviews you have written, the SM shout outs, the sweet comments you are sending my way. I do this work for all of us and I am so honored when you let me know that it makes a difference in your life!

 

Another celebration is that I am getting the opportunity to practice NOT TAKING THINGS PERSONALLY with my kids lately. Like, a lot. Wrapping up the school year, the upcoming move, and a few other life experiences have upped the level of stress at our house, and the kids are navigating it the best they can. I experience them being irritated, withdrawn, annoyed, not wanting to talk to me, like, AT ALL…..  Often this type of behavior is very easy to translate into, “why are you TREATING ME LIKE THIS??” or, “It hurts y feelings when you shut me out” which is actually what I said out loud…. 

 

And guess what? They are doing the best they can with the tools they have. They are navigating their life right now and the behavior is simply an INDICATOR that they are in it.

 

It’s not about me. It’s not about me. It’s not about me….

 

Back to the celebration, I am in the fire of this! I am in the fire of this and THIS is my opportunity to walk my talk. THIS is when it matters that I CHOOSE to tell the story of “it’s not about me” – the goal is to NOT be in a co-dependent relationship with our children, right? So here it is. That chance to separate myself from my child’s experience/behavior and generate the emotions that I WANT to be feeling, regardless of what is happening for her.

 

Fiercely committed, yes, lovingly detached, always a work in progress.

 

Ok, are you ready for me to get on with it???

 

I want to do a follow up show to episode 187. To remind you, that was the show where I got super excited about the Law of Attraction, and specifically about the opportunity to tell a different story and generate a different experience.

 

I got a lot of curiosity about that show. And I love that, because I just find the who concept of the LOA so fascinating. What I enthusiastically shared about was how we can shift our interpretations of our current situation, and invite in something new and different.

 

Let me say, which I hope I said in Eps 187 – I am not a mental health expert, NOR am I a LOA expert. I am a gal who is super excited about my own experience with LOA and see that there is some overlap with the parenting journey.

 

First of all – let’s start with validating that life can be incredible challenging. Most, if not all of us have navigated hardship – this may be financial hardship, painful relationships, mental/physical health issues, painful loss. Some of us are experiencing these things right now. I want to acknowledge you. You may be in the hardest season of life right now. You may be hurting and really unable to see a future that could be any different than the one you are experiencing….

 

This is a really hard place to be. The last thing you want to hear is “just change your story and everything will be better” – it feels dismissive, as though the big things you are going through are trivial.

 

I get that.

 

AND, I am still standing for you. REGARDLESS of what is currently alive for you – and many of you share with me what you are navigating, you 100% have the power to shift the way you are experiencing it, what you believe about it.

 

And yes, rocks are hard and waters wet. The bills have to be paid. Your children need you. Your teenager is angry.  You aren’t getting work. Your relationship sucks.

So here is my question to you – what do you want?

What do you want?

What do you want most?

Is what you want possible? Meaning, “I want to win the lottery” ok, what will that get you – financial freedom, ok….. so what you want is “financial freedom”- what might happen if you spend some time each day believing that things are in motion to bring financial freedom to you? Are you willing to try? What about creating a gratitude practice right now that includes the things that you currently have that you are grateful for – can you imagine the energy you woud be creating if this was a part of your daily experience? Might you spend more time in the mindset of things are ok? Of I have what I need? And might that shift your trajectory towards more opportunities and experiences? And if it doesn’t, how would it change your life to be in gratitude for what is right now?

 

“I want my kids needs to go away” or “I want my teenager to lose the anger” again, ok, what will that ultimately get you, a feeling of acceptance, ease, and connection? So maybe the request is  “I want to feel acceptance, ease and connection” – and again, what might happen if you spent time each day FEELING those things? GENERATING acceptance, ease and connection for yourself, instead of needing it to come from the outside? What happens when we release our children from the job of making US feel a certain way? Might we show up better for them? Without this expectation and need form them to BE a certain way for us to experience good feelings? AND, you show up differently, so will they – we KNOW this! How many times have you had the experience of looking back at the end of the day and doing a face palm over all the times you made situations worse??  I know I am not alone.

 

Rocks are hard, water is wet – there are things we can’t change, that we can’t manifest away, but there is ALWAYS choice in how we show up to those things, and in that choice, we can be in the creation of something new. In the way we choose to talk about it, according to LOA, we are sending out signals and messages and vibrations that are being responded to in kind by the universe. http://www.thelawofattraction.com/use-law-attraction-combat-depression/

 

Again, I am not a mental health professional if you have something like depression going on, please seek the advice of a doctor. That being said, how can it hurt anyone to support them in changing the way they see/experience/talk about their life?

 

And also, again, there is NO BLAME HAPPENING HERE! None. Take what you want from what I shared and leave the rest behind. If you are resistant to what I shared, challenge yourself there. I do thing this is for everyone, available to everyone, and if you feel like this isn’t for you, I simply invite you to dig in there and do some exploring – and ask yourself, “but what if it was?”

 

You get to design your life, peeps!!  And isn’t that so exciting???

 

:::::

Joyful Courage: Calming the drama and taking control of your parenting journey

This book is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access to the tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child.

THE BOOK IS READY FOR YOU TO BUY– Go to www.joyfulcourage.com/book

Thank you to everyone that has been so encouraging on this journey!!!  I appreciate you!!!!

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

 

 

May 21, 2019

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

::::

 

Today’s guest is Mother's Quest founder, Julie Neale. Julie honors both the meaning and the mess of life and parenthood and believes our children and youth challenge us to grow into our best selves. She is on a mission to live a truly epic life and through her example inspire her children to do the same her for purpose.

 

Her for-purpose venture Mother's Quest provides inspiration, coaching, and community so that mothers and those who work with young people can connect to support and resources, fulfill their unique purpose and live their epic lives. After a 20 year career as a leader in youth-serving nonprofit organizations, Julie turned her focus to coaching training at the Coaches Training Institute and facilitating a process known as Reflection for youth development professionals. Through this and her parenting experience, she realized that mothers and those who mother need an opportunity to reflect on their own growth, dreams, and plans, and created Mother's Quest to champion them with common care .

 

She masterfully taps into her own curiosity and intuition to help her clients slow down from the business of life and work, reflect on what matters, clarify a future vision and move into action. In the fall of 2017, she founded the Women Podcasters in Solidarity initiative to raise awareness and dollars for social justice issues through the power of podcasting. The first season focused on anti-racism and police accountability. We're going to talk more about that initiative on today's show. When she's not wrestling with her kindergartner or driving her team to basketball practice, you can find her squeezing in 10 minutes of yoga and meditation, believing something is better than nothing and staying up way too late to watch a double hitter of Handmaid's Tale and Super Soul Sunday. Join us!

 

"It's the discomfort, I think, is when we know we're really on to something.”

“It really starts with like one step, one conversation and everything flows from there if you stay committed to the process.”

“Just say, ‘I'm not going to forget that this matters.’”

“Perfection is really a tool of white supremacy.”

“Even if you start with just one conversation, one relationship that you build or that you extend yourself out to on a cause that matters to you, that is a really powerful place to start with incredible ripple effect possible.”

 

What you’ll hear in this episode:

  • The importance of the modeling of continuing to grow and evolve as a human when that's the expectation we have of young people
  • The value of holding a growth mindset around conversations about race
  • Resources to learn about having conversations about race with our kids
  • What is the Women Podcasters In Solidarity Initiative
  • Giving our boys permission to cry and have emotion
  • The power of conversation to create change
  • Lessons learned from social justice activism
  • How ego gets in the way of relationships
  • Moving from transactional relationships to authentic connection

 

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

Well, do you know Sage Hobbs? She's another amazing woman podcaster. She has a podcast called Naked Conversations and she interviewed me and we talk about some of these issues as well. She started with, "what does it mean to be brave or what is courage?" and I think at the time I remembered saying "It's like, you know, standing, I don't know if it was standing but standing for what matters to you. And you might have fear but moving through it anyways from a place of love."

And what I'm appreciating about this question about joyful courage is, taking action and standing for the things that matter, even if you might be feeling afraid and you do it anyway from a place of love. Along the way you also find joy. There have been so many moments where I've been cheering, you know, I'm thinking about some women in my community who have been sharing the posts about the Circle of Mother's campaign. And every time I see one more mother reach out to her community, one at a time, donations of $20 or $30, I am filled with joy. There is a joyfulness about, you know, seeing again, the seeds of what you've been planting growing in the ways that you hoped.

 

Resources:

Slay Like a Mother book

The Mask of Motherhood Ted Talk

Nicole Lee episode on Mother’s Quest podcast

So You Want to Talk About Race -  Ijeoma Oiuo

womenpodcastersinsolidarity.com

Ep 37: Generations Rising for Gun Safety with Gloria Pan

Ep 07: Living Out Loud with Jenjii Hysten

Ep 48: Lessons Learned Since Episode 24: Intersectionality and the Age of the New Heroine with Elizabeth Cronise McLaughlin

Moms Rising

Ep 54: Superheroes, Fighting Patriarchy, and Courageously Defeating Gun Violence with Ladd Everitt

One Pulse for America

Masterminds and Wingmen - Rosalind Wiseman

Ep 55: From Grief to Advocacy and a Circle of Mothers with Trayvon Martin’s Mother Sybrina Fulton

The Trayvon Martin Foundation

Circle of Mothers retreat

Lucy McBath’s Story

Mothers Against Police Brutality

EP33: Beyond the Trauma: Legacy, Compassion and Change with Mothers Against Police Brutality Co-Founder Sara Mokuria

EP27: On Living an E.P.I.C. Life with Julie Neale

Ep 49: A Conversation About Courage with Sage Hobbs and Julie Neale

 

Where to find Julie:

Mothersquest.com

Mother's Quest Podcast

Mother's Quest Facebook group

Mother's Quest business page

Mother’s Quest Instagram

Julie@mothersquest.com

 

:::::

 

Joyful Courage: Calming the drama and taking control of your parenting journey

 

This book is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access to the tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child.

 

THE BOOK IS READY FOR YOU TO BUY– Go to www.joyfulcourage.com/book

 

The best way to stay up to date on the book news is to join my newsletter list, if you haven’t already.  Sign up at www.joyfulcourage.com/join

 

Thank you to everyone that has been so encouraging on this journey!!!  I appreciate you!!!!

 

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

May 14, 2019

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

::::

Heyyyyyy you!

 

So much excitement – we got out house, kids are on board, book is getting attention, work is good….  Having the experience of seeing all that is abundant in my life has got me to thinking about how I have in the past seen abundance in the lives of others and thought “that will never be me” “I can’t do that” blah blah blah – and I’ve realized that in changing the story, I have changed what has unfolded in my life….. Its amazing.

 

Our story keeps us where we are

 

Listening to a lot of law of attraction – familiar?

 

IF not, let me read what it is from the lawofattraction.com - Simply put, the Law of Attraction is the ability to attract into our lives whatever we are focusing on. It is believed that regardless of age, nationality or religious belief, we are all susceptible to the laws which govern the Universe, including the Law of Attraction. It is the Law of Attraction which uses the power of the mind to translate whatever is in our thoughts and materialize them into reality. In basic terms, all thoughts turn into things eventually. If you focus on negative doom and gloom you will remain under that cloud. If you focus on positive thoughts and have goals that you aim to achieve you will find a way to achieve them with massive action.

 

We live our stories, we tell the stories we live, we live the story, we tell the story….  Sometimes that can keep us stuck. It isn’t the “stuck” that is bad, it is whether or not we WANT to be stuck where we are that we get to be aware of….

 

For example – When the life you are experiencing feels really hard and you see your kids as out of control….  And you talk about it with your partner and maybe your friends, and then you experience more of it, and you share with your mom or your therapist, and then there it is again, the hard, the heavy, someone asks you how you are, you give a big sigh and you respond with “I’m ok, things are hard” and the cycle continues to spin over and over and over.

 

Where is there space for something new? Where is there room to BELIEVE that there is another possibility?? That is where you are. You are resigned. Done and done.

 

A contrasting picture is one where things are going really well….  Kids are thriving, relationship is good, business is booming, there are so many possibilities opening up for you, and you talk about it with your partner and maybe your friends, and then you experience more of it, and you share with your mom or your therapist, and then there it is again, the trust, the excitement, someone asks you how you are, you give a big smile and you respond with “I’m amazing, things are so good” and the cycle continues to spin over and over and over.

 

This space feels expansive, it feels like there is an expectancy of more goodness, you believe in possibility, you are open and hopeful.

 

 

We get to stay in our lane.

 

:::::

 

Joyful Courage: Calming the drama and taking control of your parenting journey

 

This book is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access to the tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child.

 

Presale is OPEN– as many of you as possible buying presale would be FABULOUS.  Go to www.joyfulcourage.com/book

 

Official launch date is May 20th – OMG – so so exciting!!!

 

The best way to stay up to date on the book news is to join my newsletter list, if you haven’t already.  Sign up at www.joyfulcourage.com/join

 

Thank you to everyone that has been so encouraging on this journey!!!  I appreciate you and we are ALMOST THERE!!!!

 

::::

 

Authentic Parenting Conference

Anna Seewald, host of the Authentic Parenting Podcast, and parent coach, has put together a steller day of learning and growing together in New Brunswick, NJ. I am so excited about it that I decided that I WANTED TO GO TOO!!

 

I am going to be there, Dr. Laura Markham will be delivering a keynote (ah-maze-ing), and the whole thing just looks like super soul care on fire.

 

If you are interested, click here https://authenticparenting.com/conference and use the discount code JOYFUL25 for $25 off the registration fee!!

 

Come play with me!!

 

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

May 7, 2019

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

::::

 

My guest today is Anna Seewald. Anna is a Parent Educator, Keynote Speaker, Author and Host of The Authentic Parenting Podcast. With background in psychology and education, having worked with children for 18 years, today she helps conscious moms and dads to become calm and connected to themselves and their children through trauma-informed education. She believes in helping children by helping parents. She has a private practice that specializes in parent education, where she provides one-on-one parent coaching, parenting, court ordered, and co-parenting classes.  www.authenticparenting.com 

 

"Emotional regulation is the ability to regulate our own emotions and choose actions that are appropriate in that situation.”

“We can teach those skills to our children today so that they can have a better life.”

“In order to teach self-regulation or regulation skills to our children, first and foremost, we need to learn those same skills ourselves.”

“There is no misbehavior. There is only behavior.”

“There's nothing wrong with your child. There's nothing wrong with you. This is just simple biology.”

“Our compassion level has to match the intensity of the emotion that child is feeling.”

 

What you’ll hear in this episode:

  • What is emotional regulation?
  • Gaining perspective on what it means when our child is emotionally dysregulated
  • Why toddlers struggle with emotional regulation
  • How emotional dysregulation of kids triggers parents
  • How stress contributes to emotional dysregulation in parents
  • How emotional regulation supports conflict resolution, jobs, relationships, academics
  • What is co-regulation?
  • How parents can stay regulated
  • The Four-Step Calm Formula
  • Coaching your child’s emotional regulation
  • The role of compassion in emotional regulation
  • Assessing the level of urgency in an emotionally dysregulated situation
  • Language and emotional dysregulation
  • Mindfulness and emotional dysregulation
  • Validating our children’s feelings in a way that matches the intensity of their distress
  • The impact of dysregulation on the verbal centers of the brain
  • Dealing with emotional dysregulation under time constraints
  • Post-dysregulation problem solving and how to nurture it
  • What to do when your child won’t talk about their feelings
  • The power of relationship in bringing emotional regulation
  • Tips for listeners who are looking to get better at helping their children grow their self-regulation skills or themselves

 

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

When I hear these two words together, I sort of have this feeling of a child-like wonderous, courageous, right, children have this courage, they're present and they know. They're not diluted with all the societal stuff. So this pure courage that is also joyful, this child-like courage. That's how I have a sense about those two words together.

 

Resources:

Casey’s Episode on Authentic Parenting

Anna’s upcoming conference - Joyful25 to get $25 off your ticket

 

Where to find Anna:

Website

Facebook

Authentic Parenting Community on Facebook

:::::

 

Joyful Courage: Calming the drama and taking control of your parenting journey

 

This book is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access to the tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child.

 

Presale is OPEN– as many of you as possible buying presale would be FABULOUS.  Go to www.joyfulcourage.com/book

 

Official launch date is May 20th – OMG – so so exciting!!!

 

The best way to stay up to date on the book news is to join my newsletter list, if you haven’t already.  Sign up at www.joyfulcourage.com/join

 

Thank you to everyone that has been so encouraging on this journey!!!  I appreciate you and we are ALMOST THERE!!!!

 

::::

 

Authentic Parenting Conference

Anna Seewald, host of the Authentic Parenting Podcast, and parent coach, has put together a steller day of learning and growing together in New Brunswick, NJ. I am so excited about it that I decided that I WANTED TO GO TOO!!

 

I am going to be there, Dr. Laura Markham will be delivering a keynote (ah-maze-ing), and the whole thing just looks like super soul care on fire.

 

If you are interested, click here https://authenticparenting.com/conference and use the discount code JOYFUL25 for $25 off the registration fee!!

 

Come play with me!!

 

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

Apr 30, 2019

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

::::

 

Today is solo show – woohoo!!  I’ve been missing you all.

 

I am so excited to have been interviewed by some amazing gals out there in the Podcast world. Anna Seewald of the Authentic Parenting Podcast – www.authenticparenting.com/podcast had me on and we talked about building trust – both in ourselves and our kids. Loved every minute of it and can’t WAIT to meet Anna in person at her conference in May, the Authentic Parenting Conference – www.authenticparenting.com/conference.

 

I was also a guest on the TILT parenting podcast. Long time listeners of JC will know Debbie Reber from episodes 54 and 145. Debbie is the founder of TILT parenting and host of the TILT parenting podcast - http://www.tiltparenting.com/. Debbie and I talk about my book, Joyful Courage: Calming the Drama and Taking Control of Your Parenting Journey, and connect the dots around how doing our own work around self control and centering is useful for all parents, whether their children are typically or differently wired. Check out those shows!!!

 

Today I want to talk about a mantra that I have found useful time and time again. I learned it from a friend and mentor of mine – shout out to Denise Yost! – we saw each other for the first time in a while and when I asked her how she was, she responded with “fiercely committed, and lovingly detached”

 

Fiercely committed, lovingly detached.

 

It’s this a powerful come from for parenting?

 

What it means to be fiercely committed?

  • Creating the environment
  • Meeting their needs
  • Advocating for them
  • Being kind and firm
  • Encouraging them

 

What does it mean to be lovingly detached?

  • Allowing them to be who they are
  • Allowing for them to build resiliency through navigating natural consequences
  • Allowing them to be uncomfortable
  • Trusting that they are on THEIR journey
  • Letting go
  • Giving them responsibility over their lives

 

What gets in the way?

  • Our dreams/vision for them
  • Our past/failures/mistakes
  • Our assumptions
  • Our addiction to what other people think
  • Our insecurity about “doing it wrong”
  • Our emotional regulation (or lack of)
  • Our lens of the “right/wrong” way

 

What will help us move towards “fiercely committed, lovingly detached”?

 

Two list exercise.

  • Challenges
    • Everyone probably has a really similar list – YAY!
  • Gifts
    • Doubt that you have any particular job description…
    • What about “happy”?
      • Can we hope for content?
      • Can we hope for healthy coping skills and resiliency?
      • Can we hope for grounded and empowered?
    • Remember the challenges are at the tip of the iceberg – and anything we “do” with the challenges should somehow, someway, teach/model/or allow our kids to PRACTICE the life skills we want them to embody.

 

A bit about DO.

  • So often parents want to know WHAT DO I DO??
  • In the moment tools
    • This is a narrow mindset
  • PD is a broader lens than in the moment.
    • TRSUT in developing relationship
    • TRUST that kids do better when they feel batter
    • TRUST that all humans what to be connected and know that they matter and have influence
  • In the moment?
    • Keep everyone SAFE
    • Acknowledge your child’s experience
    • Look for solutions and/or ways of making things right

 

They are doing the best they can with the tools they have in the moment.

  • Just because they can tell you what they will do better next time during a calm moment does NOT mean they will access that when they are flipped
  • Not about being naughty/bad – its about relationship, tools and practice

 

:::::

 

Joyful Courage: Calming the drama and taking control of your parenting journey

 

This book is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access to the tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child.

 

Presale is OPEN– as many of you as possible buying presale would be FABULOUS.  Go to www.joyfulcourage.com/book

 

Official launch date is May 20th – OMG – so so exciting!!!

 

The best way to stay up to date on the book news is to join my newsletter list, if you haven’t already.  Sign up at www.joyfulcourage.com/join

 

Thank you to everyone that has been so encouraging on this journey!!!  I appreciate you and we are ALMOST THERE!!!!

 

::::

 

Authentic Parenting Conference

Anna Seewald, host of the Authentic Parenting Podcast, and parent coach, has put together a steller day of learning and growing together in New Brunswick, NJ. I am so excited about it that I decided that I WANTED TO GO TOO!!

 

I am going to be there, Dr. Laura Markham will be delivering a keynote (ah-maze-ing), and the whole thing just looks like super soul care on fire.

 

If you are interested, click here https://authenticparenting.com/conference and use the discount code JOYFUL25 for $25 off the registration fee!!

 

Come play with me!!

 

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

Apr 23, 2019

 

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

::::

 

Today’s guest is Simone Davis. Simone is the author of the new book, The Montessori Toddler. Simone is an AMI Association Montessori International Montessori Educator. She lives in Amsterdam where she runs parent-child Montessori classes at Jacaranda Tree Montessori. Simone is the author of a popular blog, The Montessori Notebook. She is also mother to two young adults. We will be discussing toddlers. Join us!

"In Montessori it's an alternative education system where we're actually following each unique child on their own unique individual development.”

“We start to think that toddlers are giving us a hard time when actually it's them having a hard time.”

“We help them as much as necessary and as little as possible.”

“Montessori is somewhere in between, we call it freedom within limits.”

“It's really just how to communicate in an effective, respectful way.”

“it's really about trusting your child that they're on their own unique timeline and that they're different to everybody else.”

“I think of us as planting that seed as well and nurturing it so that we really recognize that each child's individual, how can I support and help them become the best version of themselves?”

 

What you’ll hear in this episode:

  • What the Montessori philosophy is all about
  • The role of multi-age modeling in a Montessori environment
  • The importance of taking time for training
  • Preparing the environment and what that looks like
  • How Montessori builds community and independence
  • Teaching kids to care for things and each other: values-based learning
  • How breaking down steps reduces assumptions and frustration
  • The benefits of the Montessori approach
  • Applying Montessori principles to your home
  • What gets in the way of parents for seeing the gifts of the toddler years
  • Practicing neutral observation without assumption like a scientist
  • How the quest for Independence is similar in the teen and toddler years
  • Setting kind and clear limits
  • The value of a rich language environment with the space to try new things
  • Getting comfortable with repeating yourself
  • The role of making amends and modeling doing so yourself
  • The most important thing for parents of young children to know in order to shift into the Montessori mindset

 

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

I do think that you can bring joy back into parenting. Like when you think of parenting a toddler, like you mentioned, it can be hard work, but actually when you see the world through your child's eyes and see that they're not trying to give you a hard time, but they're just kind of super curious, they grabbed that toy out of that child's hand because they want to play with it right now. That's as simple as it is. It's not that they're trying to be naughty and so the courage to follow your child, support them, like "I'm not going to let you take that toy. Let's wait together." But in a very kind and gentle way. And then you'll just find you're more relaxed as a parent and you'll enjoy seeing what your toddler can show you because they have so much to show us about being in the present moment. They'll spot those weeds growing up through the pavers as you walk down the street, they remind us to really slow down and to enjoy every bit of life because I've even just used to spend half an hour going to get the newspaper with my son and we'd walk across the road. It was a block, but it was such a delight to just slow down and enjoy all those little moments, those little toddling legs. I, just, yeah, I'm so grateful for that time and that I didn't let it pass me by.

 

Resources:

Dan Siegel hand model of the brain video

“The Montessori Toddler” book

 

Where to find Simone:

Website

Facebook

Instagram

Youtube

Pinterest

 

:::::

 

Joyful Courage: Calming the drama and taking control of your parenting journey

 

This book is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access to the tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child.

 

Presale is OPEN– as many of you as possible buying presale would be FABULOUS.  Go to www.joyfulcourage.com/book

 

Official launch date is May 20th – OMG – so so exciting!!!

 

The best way to stay up to date on the book news is to join my newsletter list, if you haven’t already.  Sign up at www.joyfulcourage.com/join

 

Thank you to everyone that has been so encouraging on this journey!!!  I appreciate you and we are ALMOST THERE!!!!

 

::::

 

Authentic Parenting Conference

Anna Seewald, host of the Authentic Parenting Podcast, and parent coach, has put together a steller day of learning and growing together in New Brunswick, NJ. I am so excited about it that I decided that I WANTED TO GO TOO!!

 

I am going to be there, Dr. Laura Markham will be delivering a keynote (ah-maze-ing), and the whole thing just looks like super soul care on fire.

 

If you are interested, click here https://authenticparenting.com/conference and use the discount code JOYFUL25 for $25 off the registration fee!!

 

Come play with me!!

 

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

Apr 16, 2019

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

::::

 

Winging it in the closet!

 

Thank you for the review, Lauren!

 

Listening to my clients and group participants…. Amazing the expansive way we can see/here for the other person.

 

  • The idea that kids get into mischief, make mistakes, AND well meaning, loving parents get stuck into thinking “they are manipulating me/trying to get what they want/playng me”
  • Foundation of Adlerian theory – behavior being movement in the direction of belonging and significance
  • As young children – always perceiving/interpreting/beliefs/action (private logic)
    • Do I belong?
    • Do I matter?
    • Do I have influence?
    • Am I safe?
  • We are asking and answering those questions through our own lens, which has been developed over time, through experience and relationships we have lived through
  • Kids are cut and dry, their private logic is experienced as “truth”
  • Perception of emotional safety matters
  • “I’m curious… I notice you don’t want to talk about problems after the fact…. Can you tell me about that?”
  • Goal is to help them observe themselves
  • Having a conversation about the conversation
  • Curiosity has no agenda, it’s not a “method”
  • Curiosity is non-judgmental and open
  • THIS TAKES PRACTICE PEOPLE!
  • Call it out when the space feels judge-y and own what we have brought in the past
  • Asking VS Telling Experiential activity
  • Play with this!! Remember there are layers!!

 

:::::

 

Joyful Courage: Calming the drama and taking control of your parenting journey

 

This book is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access to the tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child.

 

Presale is April 10th – as many of you as possible buying presale would be FABULOUS.  Go to www.joyfulcourage.com/book

 

Official launch date is May 20th – OMG – so so exciting!!!

 

The best way to stay up to date on the book news is to join my newsletter list, if you haven’t already.  Sign up at www.joyfulcourage.com/join

 

Thank you to everyone that has been so encouraging on this journey!!!  I appreciate you and we are ALMOST THERE!!!!

 

::::

 

Authentic Parenting Conference

Anna Seewald, host of the Authentic Parenting Podcast, and parent coach, has put together a steller day of learning and growing together in New Brunswick, NJ. I am so excited about it that I decided that I WANTED TO GO TOO!!

 

I am going to be there, Dr. Laura Markham will be delivering a keynote (ah-maze-ing), and the whole thing just looks like super soul care on fire.

 

If you are interested, click here https://authenticparenting.com/conference and use the discount code JOYFUL25 for $25 off the registration fee!!

 

Come play with me!!

 

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

Apr 9, 2019

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

::::

 

My guest today is Meagan Wilson. Meagan is the founder of Whole Family Rhythms and living out her mission of helping other mothers, caregivers, and educators to create more clarity and balance within the home. Meagan’s website and seasonal Guides provide support, information, and resources on conscious parenting inspired by the earth, the seasons, and each family’s own unique values. Together, a community of over 25 thousand like-minded Mothers and educators gather each day on her Instagram feed to discuss parenting with love, connection and rhythm.

 

"Connecting with your family values is this parenting partner exercise.”

“Visual cues, no matter what, they are always very helpful.”

 

What you’ll hear in this episode:

  • What living with the rhythms of the earth and the seasons means
  • What it means to align your life with your values
  • How to document your family values in a meaningful way
  • Discussing your values as co-parents with extended family and caregivers
  • Routine vs rhythm, in-breath vs out-breath times and what it all means
  • Using visuals to create daily habits
  • What it means to be a loving authority
  • Being the author of the boundaries that you're holding
  • Natural consequences - what they are
  • Connecting to something higher than yourself - not necessarily religion

 

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

I cheated a little bit. I looked up the word joy because I told you I really like looking at words. It led me to rejoice, which really made sense to me because when I first read it and thought what's joyful courage?  I thought, you know, it's courage to live in that moment. You know, really ground yourself in the present moment. And even if there is suffering around, even if your child is upset and you're holding a space for that, you know, you're really in the moment. And I think that the word rejoice kind of fits in there because it's this sense of gratitude. It's gratitude for the present moment no matter what it's bringing us. So it might not always be this like very happy joy, but it's this sense of gratitude for the present moment and having the courage to try and connect with that as often as we can during the day.

 

Resources:

Simplicity Parenting

 

Where to find:

Whole Family Rhythms website - Joyful Courage landing page

Instagram

Facebook

Pinterest

:::::

 

Joyful Courage: Calming the drama and taking control of your parenting journey

 

This book is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access to the tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child.

 

Presale is April 10th – as many of you as possible buying presale would be FABULOUS. I am going to have some special bonuses TBD for my presale buyers.

Official launch date is May 20th – OMG – so so exciting!!!

 

The best way to stay up to date on the book news is to join my newsletter list, if you haven’t already.  Sign up at www.joyfulcourage.com/join

 

Thank you to everyone that has been so encouraging on this journey!!!  I appreciate you and we are ALMOST THERE!!!!

 

::::

 

Authentic Parenting Conference

Anna Seewald, host of the Authentic Parenting Podcast, and parent coach, has put together a steller day of learning and growing together in New Brunswick, NJ. I am so excited about it that I decided that I WANTED TO GO TOO!!

 

I am going to be there, Dr. Laura Markham will be delivering a keynote (ah-maze-ing), and the whole thing just looks like super soul care on fire.

 

If you are interested, click here https://authenticparenting.com/conference and use the discount code JOYFUL25 for $25 off the registration fee!!

 

Come play with me!!

 

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

Apr 2, 2019

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

:::::

Hey there!!!

I’d like to start by giving a shout out to the most recent review that the show has received on iTunes – form You are my sunshine

I hear from so many of you about how this podcast support you – if you will, please take the time to write a review – it helps the show in so many ways, one of which is that it makes it more likely to get in front of new listeners!!  Thank you –

Myths of Positive Parenting

  • That everything is peaceful all the time

 PD activity that shows the continuum between kindness and firmness parenting styles

Kind AND firm can feel elusive

We are all human beings having a human experience

  • That kids don’t get into mischief

Kids and teens are perceiving what is happening around them, and making meaning out of what they are perceiving. They filter the world through their individual, developing lens – it makes sense that they get it wrong and response in a way that seems….  well…. Inconvenient.

Our kids and teens are in the process of DEVELOPING and LEARNING life skills. They’ve had limited experience. They are doing the best they can with the tools they have.

  • That you will enjoy every minute

Uhmmm, who started this rumor??  I guess there are parents out there that truly are in bliss-land all the time when it comes to their kids and parenting. I honestly don’t KNOW them, but maybe they exist. We can love our kids UNCONDITIONALLY, with NO DOUBT, for SURE, AND not enjoy every single minute. AND this does not make us bad parents.

Realities of Positive Parenting

  • It takes work

Many of us are coming into parenting with all sorts of baggage, and we are all on different parts of the journey of self awareness. Having children, I think, gives us a choice – 1. Resist growing and evolving and stay stuck in power struggles and pain, or 2. Be open to learning and growing and enjoy a connected relationship with our children.

And being open to learning and growing is no small thing. The journey puts everything that we believe, everything that we know to be true in front of us with the question, “what if this isn’t true?” “what if there is another way to see this?” “what if this is simply MY truth?”

And then we get to decide how tight to hold on, how attached to remain --- its wild!

  • It is more about your self regulation than anything else

I read a great article by Mona Delahooke about challenging behavior and self regulation. She says, “Too often what we expect from children makes a false assumption: that children possess “top-down” control that allows them to think about their bodies and minds and control their behaviors. The truth is that may behaviorally challenged children don’t yet have this ability.

Parents tend to believe that if a child sometimes displays control, then the child always has the ability to do so. That mistaken belief reveals an expectation gap—a disparity between adults’ assumptions and a child’s abilities.”

And – “Self-regulation is a developmental process that we can nurture and encourage in one way: through the experience of emotional co-regulation with caring and attuned adults.”

I love this, because it aligns with what I believe – this work is about US getting our shit together. Yes, of course we want the same for our kids AND, like Dr. Delahooke states, it requires parents to be regulated and attuned to their kids. Toddlers to teens, people.

  • You child’s behavior is not an accurate indicator of “doing it right”

This is a biggy – all along the way, right? From how they potty train to whether or not they experiment with substances – we are quick to take the blame when things go sideways. And while I DO believe there are ways of being in relationship with our kids that support them in learning and growing, there are also other factors at work – like brain development, temperament, beliefs they have about themselves and others, relationships they are navigating….

What if instead of judging ourselves by our children’s mistakes and mis-steps, we flip the whole thing over and start to tune in with what our relationship with our child is…??

Ask yourself, what does it look like when your child screws up? How are you showing up for them? What are the dots they are connecting? Is there space for them to actually TAKE and HOLD responsibility, or are you, perhaps, unknowingly holding that responsibility?

This has been coming up SO MUCH lately, with the parents in the Parenting Teen Academy that I am running, as well as with private clients AND in my own home. We have a vision for our kids, don’t we? I mean even the most evolved of us want our children to grow into healthy, happy, fulfilled adults, right? How many of us are asking our kids what THEY want? I know that is kind of a “duh” question, but really – WHAT DO THEY WANT?

And I am going to make a very unscientific, not yet backed by science claim, that kids in connected, supportive relationships with their parents, who have a basic idea of what they want, and are allowed to make mistakes, tend to feel that THEIR PATH IS THEIRS THE CREATE AND FOLLOW.

Doesn’t mean they don’t screw up, doesn’t mean they don’t feel the tension of failure – BUT THIS IS WHERE LIFE SKILLS GROW!! We learn through our experiences – and the learning goes next level when there is also someone there to love and support us when we flail 

  • It is messy

Period. It just is. And even the people that you know who really have it together experience the messiness in one way or another. Doesn’t mean there isn’t a lot of love. The messiness is a part of the territory, people, so grab a meditation cushion and settle in for the ride.

I say it all the time – I learned it from my friend and mentor, Jody McVittie – the most powerful tool we have for influencing behavior is the relationship with nurture with our kids.

And I have a special message for those of you with teenagers right now – there isn’t time to dick around. IF you are finding it difficult to connect with your teen, if you are feeling worried or scared about where you are at, if you feel like maybe you’ve missed the window, YOU HAVE NOT. There is room for you to learn some new tools, there is time to rebuild relationship. You owe it to your kids to try something new and different.

The Parenting Teens Academy is all about this! It is a VALUABLE 4 weeks of community and content DESIGNED to support you in growing connection and responsibility in your home.

Each week you get:

  • Positive Discipline philosophy and strategies, as well as content around personal growth, to weave into your daily life.
  • You get to be a part of a like minded group of parents who are IN IT WITH YOU and supporting you along the way.
  • You get and hour long one on one call where you and I get to focus directly on what is most important to you right now, with actionable steps for following through with the learning.
  • You get the ENTIRE Parenting Teens with PD Audio Summit as a resource to keep forever 

But you have to apply before April 7th.

I am capping the program at 20 participants, and applications are already coming in. I want to be sure that we are a good fit, and that you are ready to do the work and be a part of the community.

If you’ve made it this far, I am going be direct and just say – apply now.

Here is what current participants are saying:

“I am using the content daily and I am feeling like the house and kids are happy for it!”

“There have been so many "ahas" in this program! The things my teen is going through is exactly what he's supposed to be experiencing. Though many of his behaviors are challenging right now, they will serve him well as he becomes independent. A lot of my behaviors are because I have been taking these changes personally and because of fear, and my response is the part of the equation that I can control. Looking closely at my own behavior and gradually making changes to my approach will help me build and maintain a positive relationship with my teen.”

“I have so much confidence in Casey's leadership. It feels very vulnerable to discuss our family challenges with others and dig into my own emotionally raw places. Casey has created a safe and supportive class environment by sharing her own experiences, wisdom and vulnerability while setting expectations of confidentiality and trust within our group.”

I am going to be unapologetic about encouraging you to apply now for this program. It is making a HUGE difference in the lives of parents, and I really don’t want you to miss your chance!!

Go to www.joyfulcourage.com/jcapt for more info and to apply. You will also find testimonials there, and FAQs - That is www.joyfulcourage.com/jcapt - you will NOT be sorry. Again, I am taking applications through April 7th and the four week program begins Monday, May 6th.

CAN”T WAIT!!

Tune in again next week – I will be sharing an interview with Meagan Wilson – you may know her from Whole Family Rythms. She and I talk a lot about finding and creating flow in the routines of our family. LOVED this convo – until then – BIG LOVE!!

:::: 

Authentic Parenting Conference

Anna Seewald, host of the Authentic Parenting Podcast, and parent coach, has put together a steller day of learning and growing together in New Brunswick, NJ. I am so excited about it that I decided that I WANTED TO GO TOO!!

I am going to be there, Dr. Laura Markham will be delivering a keynote (ah-maze-ing), and the whole thing just looks like super soul care on fire.

If you are interested, click here https://authenticparenting.com/conference and use the discount code JOYFUL25 for $25 off the registration fee!!

Come play with me!!

:::::

Joyful Courage Academy for Parenting Teens

SO EXCITED to be offering up this 4 week program for parents of teens that are looking for support and a connected community to tease apart the challenges of this season of parenting.

Applications are available now through April 7th.
The program will run form May 6th through May 31st.

For more information and to apply go to
www.joyfulcourage.com/jcapt

"This is great stuff. I appreciate it so much. I feel so much less alone and the positive discipline reminders are so helpful."
- Mama Sue, current participant of JCA Parenting Teens

"I really think a huge part of this program is you, Casey! You are so comfortable to talk to and hear from. Then combine that will the realness of the participants and I really am enjoying this!"
- Mama Bianca, current participant of JCA Parenting Teens

::::

Joyful Courage: Calming the drama and taking control of your parenting journey

This book is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access tot eh tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child.

Presale is April 10th – as many of you as possible buying presale would be FABULOUS. I am going to have some special bonuses TBD for my presale buyers.

Official launch date is May 20th – OMG – so so exciting!!!

The best way to stay up to date on the book news is to join my newsletter list, if you haven’t already.  Sign up at www.joyfulcourage.com/join

Thank you to everyone that has been so encouraging on this journey!!!  I appreciate you and we are ALMOST THERE!!!!

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

Mar 26, 2019

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

:::::

 

Today’s guest is Dr. Sarah Bergman Lewis. Before attending medical school ,Sarah helped to found a middle school called the Seattle Girls' School. As part of her 5 years with the Seattle girls' school she did admission and taught 6th grade Sarah attended University of Washington Medical School. She completed her pediatric residency at Seattle Children's, has worked in urgent care at Seattle Children's Hospital, then as a primary care physician.

She and her family later travelled to Guatemala for 3 months where she worked in a local hospital and her kids attended school. Her family will return again this year for a visit and to help launch a partnership between a group of Seattle pediatricians and the Guatemalan hospital.

Outside of works there is pursuing her yoga teaching training certificate and enjoys learning about sharing Integrative Medicine tools with her patients as part of a collaboration between Odessa Brown Children's Clinic and Arc of King County. She is helping devise the curriculum for a mindful self compassion course for Spanish speaking parents which she will co-facilitate in the spring.

Her husband Steve is a nonprofit executive director. She is a mom of two delightful children. Today we are talking about navigating our own self-healing. Join us!

 

"What child needs most is to have a whole adult in their lives”

“Parenting pushes us to our limits. It challenges our core beliefs and just really pushes us in all aspects of our life like no other arena.”

“Part of navigating parenting is being able to identify why we do what we do and how we feel what we feel and how we are expressing it day to day.”   

“Early childhood experiences matter and it matters in a very deep way.”

“The ‘why’ matters.”

“What happens from here is really the most important part.”

“This healing is for everyone.”

“Behavior really is always you know movement towards belonging”

“These things are both universal and deeply personal.”

 

What you’ll hear in this episode:

  • Parenting from wholeness, not fear
  • Adverse childhood events and how they affect parents and parenting
  • Adverse childhood events study explained
  • The dose response effect to adverse childhood events
  • How ACE scores impact health (physical and mental) risks
    The shadow side of resilience
  • Behavior as a solution to a problem we don’t know about
  • Epigenetics, what is it and what does it have to do with behavior?
  • Being aware of what drives our internal “shark music”
  • Exercising self-compassion around when you’re going to work on your issues
  • How the way we talk to ourselves impacts how we talk to people in our family
  • What embodiment means
  • Encouraging embodiment in our kids
  • Guiding conversations about embodiment
  • Discussing screen time with our kids

 

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

Oh gosh so joyful courage to me means being all in, you know, with the good, the bad, the ugly, the beautiful as Glennon Melton Doyle calls it. It is being willing to feel that discomfort and really trusting that it's going to go to a better place and that it does give you those really joyful moments and those transformative moments even if it, so my my daughter the other day as we were leaving, you know, I was being less than ideal, less than my best self going out the door and she looked at me and she said “Remember, mom, peace begins with me.” and I was like “Oh shoot!” But it’s so true and you know, it's like, we’re going to be okay.

 

Resources:

ACE Score Resources

 

Where to find Dr. Sarah:

Instagram

Facebook

Email sarahberganlewis@gmail.com

 

:::::

Joyful Courage Academy for Parenting Teens

SO EXCITED to be offering up this 4 week program for parents of teens that are looking for support and a connected community to tease apart the challenges of this season of parenting.

Applications are available now through April 7th.
The program will run form May 6th through May 31st.

For more information and to apply go to
www.joyfulcourage.com/jcapt

"This is great stuff. I appreciate it so much. I feel so much less alone and the positive discipline reminders are so helpful."
- Mama Sue, current participant of JCA Parenting Teens

"I really think a huge part of this program is you, Casey! You are so comfortable to talk to and hear from. Then combine that will the realness of the participants and I really am enjoying this!"
- Mama Bianca, current participant of JCA Parenting Teens

 

::::

 

Joyful Courage: Calming the drama and taking control of your parenting journey

 

This book is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access tot eh tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child.

 

Presale is April 10th – as many of you as possible buying presale would be FABULOUS. I am going to have some special bonuses TBD for my presale buyers.

Official launch date is May 20th – OMG – so so exciting!!!

 

The best way to stay up to date on the book news is to join my newsletter list, if you haven’t already.  Sign up at www.joyfulcourage.com/join

 

Thank you to everyone that has been so encouraging on this journey!!!  I appreciate you and we are ALMOST THERE!!!!

 

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

Mar 19, 2019

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

:::::

First – let me tell you how much I love the show, Parenthood, on Netflix....

Casey is on solo with you today digging into what it means to trust the process in the context of parenting, Positive Discipline, and leaning on our relationship as the most powerful way to influence our kids behavior.

What does this mean?

  • Hitting stage
  • Homework stage

The relationships/ life skill development journey

When we are stuck in a place with our kids it is easy to believe that it will “always be like this”

  • Change happens over time
  • If we want something to be different we have to BE different
    • The dance we do with our kids has explicit steps, well choreographed over time
      • All it take is one person to change the dance (YOU)

What it means to be in an honest open relationship with your children

  • What can feel like the dark side
  • Curiosity and stalling when you don’t know what to do
  • Notice your fear and let it guide you to pausing
  • Gather your resources
  • Listen to your gut

How to voice concerns without blaming or condemning (thermometer activity)

  • Encouraging vs discouraging out kids
    • When they are discouraged by OUR behavior they shift OUT OF taking responsibility or even thinking about their own behavior

::::

Authentic Parenting Conference

Anna Seewald, host of the Authentic Parenting Podcast, and parent coach, has put together a steller day of learning and growing together in New Brunswick, NJ. I am so excited about it that I decided that I WANTED TO GO TOO!!

I am going to be there, Dr. Laura Markham will be delivering a keynote (ah-maze-ing), and the whole thing just looks like super soul care on fire.

If you are interested, click here https://authenticparenting.com/conference and use the discount code JOYFUL25 for $25 off the registration fee!!

Come play with me!!

::::

Joyful Courage: Calming the drama and taking control of your parenting journey

This book is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access tot eh tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child.

Presale is April 10th – as many of you as possible buying presale would be FABULOUS. I am going to have some special bonuses TBD for my presale buyers.

Official launch date is May 20th – OMG – so so exciting!!!

The best way to stay up to date on the book news is to join my newsletter list, if you haven’t already.  Sign up at www.joyfulcourage.com/join

Thank you to everyone that has been so encouraging on this journey!!!  I appreciate you and we are ALMOST THERE!!!!

:::::

Buy the Parenting Teen Audio Summit!
** This will only remain available for a limited time **

The Parenting Teens With Positive Discipline Audio Summit is a deep dive into the messiness of parenting through the teen years and beyond. Each of the featured guests speaks candidly from both their wisdom as parent educators, as well as their real life experience of raising their own teens.

Check it out – www.joyfulcourage.com/teensummit

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

Mar 12, 2019

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

:::::

 

Today’s guest is Bonnie J. Rough, who is an author, journalist, and speaker focusing on families, health, education, parenting and sexuality. Her latest book is Beyond Birds & Bees: Bringing Home a New Message to Our Kids about Sex, Love, and Equality. has written recently for the New York Times on teaching young children about boundaries and consent and the value of childhood crushes, The Atlantic on both the link between sex ed and gender equality and improving school sex ed, the Washington Post on why it’s important to teach sex ed in mixed-gender groups, and New York Magazine on raising kids without sexual shame. Join us!

 

"What I learned is that the focus on helping kids wait longer is really not and should not be the end all. It’s really more about how can we prepare them to have a positive experience.”

 

“The Dutch parents who I met and the American ones too who have inspired me on this really are prioritizing their relationship with their kids over their ideals about what and when their kids will do things.”

 

“If we have those open lines of communication we actually have more control than if we forbid.”

 

“The more open and transparent we can be with our kids the better.”

 

What you’ll hear in this episode:

  • Cultural differences between the US and Amsterdam around gender equality, nudity, and sexuality
  • Normalizing conversations about sexuality
  • Separating nudity from eroticism
  • Differences in sexual health outcomes between US and Dutch teenagers
  • Ways to keep lines of communication open with your kids
  • Double standards applied to boys and girls
  • Why helping your child maintain cross-gender friendships
  • The importance of knowing your kids’ friends
  • What the research says about teenage sex
  • What to do when you feel you’re late to the party in talking to your kids about sex
  • The importance of not having an agenda when having those curious conversations with kids
  • Owning when we feel awkward or uncomfortable
  • Navigating fear and baggage to become available for conversations with our kids
  • Expanding our own knowledge base to have better conversations

 

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

Oh my gosh, to me joyful courage is all about that permission, that freeing sense of permission that I got from observing parents who knew that, you know, making little mistakes in a day to day conversation with our kids about healthy sexuality, it's meaningless, those little mistakes. The big thing that we're doing right, you know, having an interest in relating with them on the subject and so when I realize that, you know, it's not a thing to damage our kids by telling them too much, it's not a thing to damage our kids by telling them something that wasn't accurate one day and coming back, circling back to it another day. It's, you know, knowing that I could be gentle with myself and that we can actually have fun with the conversation once they kind of got to just be a thread through our normal life, you know, basically joyful courage for me is about going headlong into it, you know, with optimism and cheerfulness and hope and trust.

 

Resources:

Beyond Birds & Bees: Bringing Home a New Message to Our Kids about Sex, Love, and Equality

 

Where to find Bonnie:

Website

Twitter

Facebook

Instagram

 

::::

 

Joyful Courage: Calming the drama and taking control of your parenting journey

 

This book is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access tot eh tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child.

 

Presale is April 10th – as many of you as possible buying presale would be FABULOUS. I am going to have some special bonuses TBD for my presale buyers.

Official launch date is May 20th – OMG – so so exciting!!!

 

The best way to stay up to date on the book news is to join my newsletter list, if you haven’t already.  Sign up at www.joyfulcourage.com/join

 

Thank you to everyone that has been so encouraging on this journey!!!  I appreciate you and we are ALMOST THERE!!!!

:::::

Buy the Parenting Teen Audio Summit!
** This will only remain available for a limited time **

The Parenting Teens With Positive Discipline Audio Summit is a deep dive into the messiness of parenting through the teen years and beyond. Each of the featured guests speaks candidly from both their wisdom as parent educators, as well as their real life experience of raising their own teens.

 

Check it out – www.joyfulcourage.com/teensummit

 

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

Mar 5, 2019

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

:::::

 

How we influence the iceberg

 Clients come to me to talk about kids behavior

  • Battles over homework
  • Power struggles
  • Screen time addiction
  • Getting out the door
    • We are mega focused on fixing those problems

The iceberg- behavior we see is a solution to a problem that we may or may not know about

Example that we played with a few weeks ago in parenting class:

Child won’t get ready to go in the morning and family is late getting out the door

  • Two options for response:
    • What do I have to do to this kid to get her to cooperate?
      • Bribes, threats, punishments
    • What is happening for this child that is getting in the way?

 Go to the source

  • Tell me about the mornings…. I notice that…. How are you feeling…..
  • With new information you can make a plan together to support the child (and you)n in doing better

Transparency

  • Rowan talking about the future
    • Agitated, closed off, defensive
    • Often my response is irritated that she cant “have” the convo
    • We both are discouraged and the convo is over
  • Maybe I am engaging the wrong conversation
    • Helpful to know what shows up for her when the invitation is to talk about future
    • What is the experience?
    • IS it only with me or others?
    • Might there be a benefit to talking with someone else if not me?
    • What would be useful about having a vision of the future?
      • Deeper even still
      • I notice when this is the conversation you….. I am curious about that? How does it feel when…..?

 Sometimes our kids refuse to go there….

  • How do we let go?
  • What do they need?
  • Recognizing/acknowledging our tendency to hold on/get rigid/ let fear or our agenda drive us….
  • Mutual respect – respect for child and for self and the situation
  • Honor who they are and their temperament
    • I am ALL IN, lets go deep and swirl around and grow and learn and be super transparent and get it all out – don’t hold back. I process out loud and in the moment…. This is not the way of everyone, def not my daughter.

 Summing it up:

  • Recognize how we are contributing to challenges
  • Own it, and get curious about your child’s experience.
  • Identify the ACTUAL problem
  • Be an open, nonjudgmental listener
  • Look for solutions (related respectful reasonable helpful)
  • Be respectful
  • Honor who you child is in word and action

Before I go….

I have a really exciting update on my BOOK!!

Joyful Courage: Calming the drama and taking control of your parenting journey

This is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access tot eh tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child. 

Presale is April 10th – as many of you as possible buying presale would be FABULOUS. I am going to have some special bonuses TBD for my presale buyers.

Official launch date is May 20th – OMG – so so exciting!!!

The best way to stay up to date on the book news is to join my newsletter list, if you haven’t already.  Sign up at www.joyfulcourage.com/join

Thank you to everyone that has been so encouraging on this journey!!!  I appreciate you and we are ALMOST THERE!!!!

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Buy the Parenting Teen Audio Summit!

The Parenting Teens With Positive Discipline Audio Summit is a deep dive into the messiness of parenting through the teen years and beyond. Each of the featured guests speaks candidly from both their wisdom as parent educators, as well as their real life experience of raising their own teens.

 

Check it out – www.joyfulcourage.com/teensummit

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Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

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