Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

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SOLO SHOW!!

Teacher posted about a difficult class…

Response about “parenting style” naming “gentle parenting” and followed up with a post about “helicopter parenting, mom and dad are friends, no discipline or consequences….” 

Lets talk about this:

• The swing from authoritarian to permissive
• What is kind and firm
• Authoritative – structure and freedom
• The most important tool we have for influencing behavior is the relationship we build with our children – that is what this week in the Academy is all about.
• No boundaries/limits – not a solid relationship
• No voice/ freedom – not a solid relationship

• Mutual respect?
• Problem solving?
• Dignity in tact? – Dignity, the state or quality of being worthy of honor or respect.

Helicopter/lawn mower/permissive parenting ROBs children of the discomfort of learning from their mistakes. It robs them of the opportunity of making things right and fixing their mistakes. Robs them of the opportunity for problem solving, accountability, ownership.

Authoritarian parenting ALSO robs kids of opportunity. When we parent from a place that threatens punishment for making mistakes, kids no longer have the luxury of learning how to really think through the decision making process, instead, they learn the “better not do it cuz I don’t want to get into trouble” or “better not get caught”

Authoritarian parenting can often lead to a lack of respect in the relationship.

Guidelines and boundaries INSIDE OF a solid, respectful relationship will increase the likelihood of cooperative, contributing children.

KIND AND FIRM – listen to your body, are you in alignment with your values and what the kid need. There is WISDOM IN THE BODY, PAY ATTENTION. 

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Contribute to the show!!! Become a PATRON!

$1, $5, $10 a month - be in contribution and give back to the show that gives you so much!!

www.patreon.com/joyfulcourage

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Mother’s Journey BALTIMORE

EALY EARLY BIRD PRICE THROUGH MAY 15TH!

Come to Baltimore in July 28th!!  Super excited to be circling up with mama’s to bring more connection, self growth and discovery to the community there! More info can be found at www.joyfulcourage.com/mothersjourney

Are you interested in bringing A Mother’s Journey to your community? Get in touch with me! All MJ workshops happening because people like you reach out and say COME! Fill the room with the mamas you love and enjoy a say of love and learning. Email Casey at casey@joyfulcourage.com to explore the possibility.

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All the goods at www.joyfulcourage.com/yes

Intention Bracelets

Back by popular demand!! The Joyful Courage intention bracelets are back in stock and I am THRILLED to have been able to have had the community vote on the reminders that are on them…. Breathe, Pause, Trust, Surrender, Kindness – what do you need?

DAILY INTENTION CARDS

What do you think about the Daily Intention Cards???  These cards are designed to support you in your conscious, intentional parenting practice.

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

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Today’s guest is Mary Nelsen-Tamborski, a licensed marriage and family therapist in San Diego and also a certified positive discipline trainer and parent coach. Mary’s formal training is secondary to the life training she got from her mother, Dr. Jane Nelsen, a marriage and family therapist and author of all the positive discipline books. Mary is a popular keynote speaker, and workshop presenter. We are discussing mistakes as opportunities to learn. Join us!

“I find that these principles are universal so they are great, obviously for parents and children but it's also just human beings in general.”

"The lens that we see our kids out of is everyone being equally worthy of dignity and respect it's no wonder that how we treat our kids , it should be a mirror of how we treat our friends and how we treat our coworkers and the checkers at the grocery store. It's about human to human relationships."

"You have to break down to break through." `

What you’ll hear in this episode:

• How positive discipline impacts other relationships in our lives
• Positive discipline as a theory and the reality of implementation
• Mistakes as opportunities to learn and navigating shame
• Solutions oriented problem solving versus consequences
• Dealing with your own emotional stuff when encountering challenging behaviour
• The role of regular family meetings
• The importance of apologies
• Making amends after we make mistakes
• What to do when you "lose it"
• Post-conflict communication and rebuilding closeness
• Managing triggers and being called out on your stuff
• Learning and growing as a family in positive discipline
• Assumptions & consequences - 3 R's & 1 H
• Brain development and consequences
• Genuine curiosity and asking curious questions to improve communication
• Curiosity as a way of being
• Shedding ego to engage in a meaningful way
• Connecting early to keep the lines of communication open for adolescence
• Treating your children as friends - a positive discipline perspective

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

I really think it's about accepting yourself as being an imperfect parent, that there's no such thing as a perfect parent. You would think I would have an amazing advantage being raised by the author, being trained and being a therapist. Like, I really should have this parenting gig down and there's a helpful reminder with my children daily that there is no such thing as a perfect parent and just having, like you had said in the beginning, progress. Progress, not perfection and just really kind of being gentle with yourself that when you do blow it, because you will, having the courage to accept it, admit it, and then repair it and know that this courage stuff is never ending. We get opportunities to practice it daily and you can have joy in that when you accept, when you shift your thinking, as in, "Oh my gosh, I was imperfect, ha! I have an opportunity to teach my child that they get to be imperfect too and that we are in this journey together, this is the first time that I've been a mom of a 9 year or a 5 year old or an 11 year old, this my first time. I can read all the books in the world, I can even be raised by the author and guess what? It's still my first time." So, I'm doing the best I can and the courage to accept that I'm not perfect and we get to be joyful while we go through that process.

Resources:

Jane Nelsen’s book Serenity

Where to find Mary:
Website

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Mother’s Journey BALTIMORE 

Come to Baltimore in July 28th!!  Super excited to be circling up with mama’s to bring more connection, self growth and discovery to the community there! More info can be found at www.joyfulcourage.com/mothersjourney

Are you interested in bringing A Mother’s Journey to your community? Get in touch with me! All MJ workshops happening because people like you reach out and say COME! Fill the room with the mamas you love and enjoy a say of love and learning. Email Casey at casey@joyfulcourage.com to explore the possibility.

:::::

All the goods at www.joyfulcourage.com/yes

Intention Bracelets

Back by popular demand!! The Joyful Courage intention bracelets are back in stock and I am THRILLED to have been able to have had the community vote on the reminders that are on them…. Breathe, Pause, Trust, Surrender, Kindness – what do you need?

DAILY INTENTION CARDS

What do you think about the Daily Intention Cards???  These cards are designed to support you in your conscious, intentional parenting practice.

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

Where to find Mary:

Website

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

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Thank you community!  You are all so amazing.

TOGETHER we are making an impact on the world.

Today is a solo show…. I am getting vulnerable once again and shedding light on an area that I am not so proud of AND see as an opportunity for us all to grow as humans in relationship with each other.

The white bubble.

I know I am not the only person that lives a really homogenous life when it comes to diversity. AND, I know that many of you can celebrate LOTS of diversity in your life and relationships.

Today I just wanted to call myself and anyone else in the community out in an effort to DO BETTER. The world is made up of a variety of people, from a diverse pool of cultures, experiences, and backgrounds.

When I look out into the “positive parenting” world, I see lots of white faces. When I think about the people that listen to my show and participate in my community, I see a lot of white faces.

I love all those white faces AND, I am recognizing that I could do more to bring more diverse voices onto the show and into our community – and into MY personal life as well.  AND, because I get to speak from the platform of Joyful Courage, I get to be transparent and invite you all to join me.

Whew!

I am excited! We all get to take steps to shift the way the world is currently operating, and those of us with privilege, even if it is simply the color of our skin, have a part to play in that shift. I hope you will join me.

And for those of you in the community who ARE people of color, please feel free to reach out and let me know how I can do better! I value your voice. Help me find guests that can tell stories and give support from a POV that is different from my middle class white woman lens.

I love you all!

Thank you for listening!!

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Mother’s Journey BALTIMORE

Come to Baltimore in July 28th!!  Super excited to be circling up with mama’s to bring more connection, self growth and discovery to the community there! More info can be found at www.joyfulcourage.com/mothersjourney

Are you interested in bringing A Mother’s Journey to your community? Get in touch with me! All MJ workshops happening because people like you reach out and say COME! Fill the room with the mamas you love and enjoy a say of love and learning. Email Casey at casey@joyfulcourage.com to explore the possibility.

:::::

All the goods at www.joyfulcourage.com/yes

Intention Bracelets

Back by popular demand!! The Joyful Courage intention bracelets are back in stock and I am THRILLED to have been able to have had the community vote on the reminders that are on them…. Breathe, Pause, Trust, Surrender, Kindness – what do you need?

 DAILY INTENTION CARDS

What do you think about the Daily Intention Cards???  These cards are designed to support you in your conscious, intentional parenting practice.

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

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So thrilled to have Aubrey and Becky Springer on today to talk about how to take small steps to make a big difference.

We all hope that our children will be in service to the world, that they will WANT to make a difference, to make the world a better place.

Today’s show highlights what it can look like when being in contribution to the community is the default for a family – and how the way we impact our kids, through the experiences we invite them into, can impact the world.

“We all belong to each other.” – Mama Becky

Links mentioned:

Support Aubrey’s Project 
Glennon Doyle
Together Rising
Union Gospel Mission

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Joyful Courage Academy

Find out about the Joyful Courage Academy! 5 weeks of deep dives and parenting tools. Register NOW for the April 30th program - http://www.joyfulcourage.com/academy

:::::

Mother’s Journey

Are you interested in bringing A Mother’s Journey to your community? Get in touch with me! All MJ workshops happening because people like you reach out and say COME! Fill the room with the mamas you love and enjoy a say of love and learning. Email Casey at casey@joyfulcourage.com to explore the possibility.

:::::

All the goods at www.joyfulcourage.com/yes

Intention Bracelets

Back by popular demand!! The Joyful Courage intention bracelets are back in stock and I am THRILLED to have been able to have had the community vote on the reminders that are on them…. Breathe, Pause, Trust, Surrender, Kindness – what do you need?

DAILY INTENTION CARDS

What do you think about the Daily Intention Cards???  These cards are designed to support you in your conscious, intentional parenting practice.

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

:::::

Today’s guest is Delaney Ruston, a documentary filmmaker. She believes in helping kids find balance in our tech filled world. She loves engaging audiences in solution centered discussions. We are discussing her work making the film Screenagers and how to support our kids with finding balance. Join us!

“Just start with one simple change that you want to make and the real growth is when you talk about that with your kids and you show them your journey in trying to make that change.”

“Maybe just pick one thing that you could decide to do that you’re not using tech as you normally would.”

“The key, the most absolute important thing about it is starting with something positive about technology.”

 “The brain has a really hard time holding two opposite truths at the same time and it’s particularly hard for kids and teens.”  

 “To find sustainable solutions for tech balance and the child and teen brain we’re going to have to work together.”

What you’ll hear in this episode:

• The neuroscience of technology use and over-use
• The individual child and technology use - micro impacts vs metadata
• Setting attainable goals for technology use reduction
• The power of changing just one thing
• Recognizing the difficulty of cognitive dissonance in conversations about technology
• Reducing defensiveness in technology conversations
• Why 30% of families are struggling with daily fights about technology
• What studies say about parent device use
• Distracted parenting and interactions with our kids
• Learning new skills: how this changes as kids grow
• Self-regulation and parenting involvement in creating limits
• Setting aside screen free time as a family
• Technology and sleep - setting boundaries for wellness
• Guidelines for young kids to set the stage for later technology use
• Sleep time, Study time and Family time - technology boundaries
• Digital etiquette ideas
• When you’ve given up and need to reign things in
• Taking stock of how we use our time
• How to bring Screenagers into your community
• School policies: prevalence of device use in middle and high schools
• Impact of device use on academics in middle and high schools

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

I think life as a learning adventure is why we are on this planet and any time we can change any situation into a learning mentality it saves the day 100% So, we can only put ourselves in those situations when we have the courage to try something new and to know that when we change our mindset to realize, “Hey, what did I learn from that situation?” That’s where the real joy comes from.     

Resources:

Tech Talk Tuesdays

Where to find Delaney:

Screenagersmovie.com l Delaneyruston.com

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Joyful Courage Academy

Find out about the Joyful Courage Academy! 5 weeks of deep dives and parenting tools. Register NOW for the April 30th program -  http://www.joyfulcourage.com/academy

:::::

Mother’s Journey

Are you interested in bringing A Mother’s Journey to your community? Get in touch with me! All MJ workshops happening because people like you reach out and say COME! Fill the room with the mamas you love and enjoy a say of love and learning. Email Casey at casey@joyfulcourage.com to explore the possibility.

:::::

All the goods at www.joyfulcourage.com/yes

Intention Bracelets

Back by popular demand!! The Joyful Courage intention bracelets are back in stock and I am THRILLED to have been able to have had the community vote on the reminders that are on them…. Breathe, Pause, Trust, Surrender, Kindness – what do you need?

DAILY INTENTION CARDS

What do you think about the Daily Intention Cards???  These cards are designed to support you in your conscious, intentional parenting practice.

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

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Today’s podcast was created in honor of the 159 parents who enrolled and engaged in the #joyfulcourage10.

Today we complete the program, and begin the practice of sustaining the magic and community that was created there, because of the people who showed up vulnerably, authentically, and courageously.

I love what I get to do.

Thank you to each of you that spent the last 10 days building relationship with me and each other. YOU ARE AMAZING!!!

Alright – today’s theme for the show is authenticity and transparency.

Parenting as a journey

• Not a secret
• No hidden agenda
• About being in human relationship

Modeling

• Life skills are learned through modeling
• Vulnerability and authenticity is learned through modeling
• Kicking it up a notch is lifting up and OUT of the modeling and being transparent

Human relationships are messy.

Parenting is messy.

Life-iing is messy.

When we actively, intentionally, decide to SHIFT the way we parent, we set ourselves up to be exposed as flawed humans.

• Hello vulnerability
• Hello humility
• Hello contrary to the “adults are always right”

 While the whole Positive Discipline/Positive Parenting approach is SIMPLE – I mean, choose relationship and trust that your  children will lean life skills – WHAT IS THE BIG DEAL???

Right, and then we are in life and it is a shit show.

• Defeat
• Self talk
• Comparison-itis
• Giving up

Be transparent! 

All that modeling???  It is an opportunity to lift up and out of your experience and help you kids see you connecting the dots (or your partner, or you parent, sibling, friend)

• Share your journey
• Ask for help
• Let people know HOW you would like feedback

If you know with your WHOLE HEART that this makes sense to you, that you believe in this style of parenting, then also believe with your WHOLE HEART that you are capable, worthy and ENOUGH to pull this off.

DO NOT READ PERFECT HERE.

• Progress not perfection
• Progress not perfection
• Progress not perfection.

TRANSFORMATION IS NOT A FUTURE EVENT. IT IS A PRESENT ACTIVITY. – Jillian Michaels (thank you Jessie for setting e straight on this quote)

Transformation IS happening. Every time you choose into this work.

Do you all know what I mean by “choose in?”

• When you hug and melt into it
• When you breathe it out
• When you connect
• When you get curious
• When you drop your shoulders
• When you’re mindful
• When you step away
• When you try something new
• When you interrupt your pattern
• When you acknowledge your self talk, and replace it with an affirmation
• When you drop the urgency
• When you drop the rigidity
• When you listen to your body
• When you look for perspective
• When you remember the iceberg
• When you let go of what society, your parents, your neighbors, your inlaws think you SHOULD DO
• When you let your heart lead
• When you honor you

ALL OF THIS IS CHOOSING IN.

So DO IT!

Be unapologetic.

And when it is hard, just own that – THIS MORNING IS FUCKING HARD! Maybe don’t scream it out loud, but acknowledge that it IS hard some days. And exhausting. And thankless.

AND, you GET TO choos in.

You GET TO.

You are being CALLED TO THIS WORK, otherwise, why would you be doing it? Why would you be reading the books and article and listening to the podcast??? 

I see you. I know you are listening. I know you are trying. I know that your heart swells with love when you look at your sleeping child, and that your mind spins when that same child is awake  and impossibly inconsolable…..  I see you.

And you can do this.  You ARE doing this.

And I see you.

Joyful Courage Academy

If you want to go next level, I mean REALLY next level – with support and community right there with you, consider the Joyful Courage Academy.

This is five weeks of deep diving, exploring, practicing, stretching and growing.

Members of the academy will enjoy weekly webinars where we will all be LIVE together, on the screen, interacting in real time around the weeks lessons

ALSO members will enjoy weekly Q and A sessions with me, again, LIVE together

They will enjoy an safe, supporting and ENGAGED FB group for accountability, sharing and celebration.

And VIP members will also receive two one on one coaching calls with me during the course.

The learning outcomes of this program are:

• Participants will gain a deeper understanding of behavior and create a vision for their parenting
• Participants will identify where gaps exist and learn tools for strengthening relationships and expectations
• Participants will learn language that empowers, inspire and motivates their family.
• Participants will grow their leadership through proactive and in the moment practices
• Participants will uncover the deep wisdom that ALREADY exists inside of themselves and use it to show up and design their life

Sign up now at www.joyfulcourage.com/academy

Love each and every one of you so much!!!! 

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Mother’s Journey

Are you interested in bringing A Mother’s Journey to your community? Get in touch with me! All MJ workshops happening because people like you reach out and say COME! Fill the room with the mamas you love and enjoy a say of love and learning. Email Casey at casey@joyfulcourage.com to explore the possibility.

:::::

All the goods at www.joyfulcourage.com/yes

Intention Bracelets

Back by popular demand!! The Joyful Courage intention bracelets are back in stock and I am THRILLED to have been able to have had the community vote on the reminders that are on them…. Breathe, Pause, Trust, Surrender, Kindness – what do you need?

DAILY INTENTION CARDS

What do you think about the Daily Intention Cards???  These cards are designed to support you in your conscious, intentional parenting practice.

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

:::::

Today’s guest is Genevieve Simperingham, a counsellor, an AWARE parenting educator, a writer, a group facilitator, meditation teacher and founder of the Peaceful Parent Institute in New Zealand. Over the last 24 years, Genevieve has presented hundreds of workshops and courses. She has parented her own kids using attachment principles and she seeks to empower parents with the tools that result in increased harmony, trust and cooperation in the family unit. We are discussing peaceful parenting our teenagers. Join us!

“It’s about bringing into your parenting not just how you should respond in this situation or in that situation and our different approaches and techniques (which are really, really important) but it’s all about who we are as a person and who our child is as a person and the dynamic and the energy between us.”

“We shouldn’t be in fighter stance simply because we have teenagers.”

What you’ll hear in this episode:

• What is peaceful parenting and how it is different than some of the more mainstream behaviorist parenting approaches.
• The Centre, Connect, Communicate approach
• Stress management, self care and healing trauma and how they relate to parenting
• The need for authenticity in empathy and curiosity
• The biggest hangups for parents around peaceful parenting teenagers
• Having tough conversations with your teens without shorting out the connection at the outset
• Setting and holding limits within the peaceful parenting framework
• Sex, drugs and alcohol use in teens - is it better to allow at home or to restrict?
• Reducing power struggles and rebellion
• Educating and empowering teens to make their own choices
• Reconnecting to move past conflict

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

Joyful courage to me, it connects me with that last bit that we were just talking about, to me it’s about joy we feel in the heart and it takes a lot of courage to reconnect. So to me it’s about opening the heart and allowing the joy, the enjoyment of the relationship, of the connection to come back in and that takes courage. It takes courage to be vulnerable again. It’s easier to be hard and defensive and stern and it takes courage to open the heart come back to the joy of that beautiful connection again.

Resources:

Aware parenting

Where to find Genevieve:

The way of the Peaceful Parent Facebook Group

Facebook

Website

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 Joyful Courage Academy

Find out about the Joyful Courage Academy! 5 weeks of deep dives and parenting tools. More information to come. http://www.joyfulcourage.com/academy 

::::: 

Mother’s Journey

Are you interested in bringing A Mother’s Journey to your community? Get in touch with me! All MJ workshops happening because people like you reach out and say COME! Fill the room with the mamas you love and enjoy a say of love and learning. Email Casey at casey@joyfulcourage.com to explore the possibility.

:::::

 All the goods at www.joyfulcourage.com/yes

Intention Bracelets 

Back by popular demand!! The Joyful Courage intention bracelets are back in stock and I am THRILLED to have been able to have had the community vote on the reminders that are on them…. Breathe, Pause, Trust, Surrender, Kindness – what do you need?

DAILY INTENTION CARDS

What do you think about the Daily Intention Cards???  These cards are designed to support you in your conscious, intentional parenting practice.

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

:::::

Gratitude to the community, specifically my one on one clients and the membership.

• Themes
• Collective experience
• My own filter
• Always in the learning, growing, developing
• Humaning is simple, not easy

Knowing what we want, not taking action to get there

• Identifying what we want
• Reading/learning tools/strategies
• Sitting on the outside of it
  • Procrastination
  • Self talk
  • Sneak messages
    • Fear/worthiness/perfectionism

Finding Nemo

• Working so hard to get to his goal
• Dealing with the monkey mind of dory (is there a metaphor here?)
• Perseverance despite fear
• Turtle
  • Come into the current, dude
    • Less effort
    • Less resistance
    • More results
    • Bigger possibilities

The Secret/ Law of Attraction / FLOW

• What is this all about?
• The Law of attraction is the belief that by focusing on positive or negative thoughts people can bring positive or negative experiences into their life. The belief is based on the idea that people and their thoughts are both made from "pure energy", and that through the process of "like energy attracting like energy" a person can improve their own health, wealth and personal relationships.
  • What you think about you bring about
    • Yes thought AND actively taking steps that move you in that direction
    • NEMO HAD TO SAY YES AND ENTER THE FLOW TO BE A PART OF THE FLOW

What the heck does this have to do with parenting?

• Paying attention to the flow
  • What makes it easy to be easy going, even when things are challenging?
  • What do you notice about when your family is more easy going?
• Under the surface/foundation
  • Routines
  • Common language
  • Needs are met
  • Connected
  • Belonging and significance
• Have you defined where you want to flow to take you?
  • More of a way of being than a destination, unless you are setting specific goals
  • It is an ACTIVE process – we must be in action
  • FLOW state shows up because it all becomes easier the more we choose in

Choosing in

• I say this a lot
• Being a yes
• Seizing the opportunities to “practice” the tools
• TAKING ACTION

If you want things to BE different then you need to BE different

• Interrupting the patters
  • Discover what your patterns are
  • Pay attention/mindfulness
    • Ex – phone use
      • When do you use it
      • What do you notice about right before you pick it up?
      • Where do you use it
      • What routines can you play with that will interrupt your pattern
        • DECIDING to do something different/interrupting
        • Leaving it upstairs in the morning
      • Ex – getting mad at my teenager/taking her angst personally
        • When do you do it
        • What do you notice about right before you yell
        • Where are you typically when you yell
        • What routines can you play with that will interrupt your pattern
          • DECIDING to practice something different
          • Internal work of allowing HER to be responsible for her feelings and allowing ME to be responsible for mine
          • Creating a “one liner” that supports me in knowing/sharing where I am at
          • Taking care of myself
          • Offering my daughter opportunities to develop tools for taking care of herself – LIFE SKILL
        • Ex – being resentful that no one “helps”
          • When do you do it
          • What do you notice about right before resentment shows up
          • Where are you typically when you are feeling
          • What routines can you play with that will interrupt your pattern
            • DECIDING to practice something different
            • Creating routines around that particular time of the day
            • Getting face to face and asking for help
            • Smiling
            • Putting on music
            • Being an invitation instead of a nag

All starts with out DECISION to be different

• The voices in our head
  • “talking to ourselves”
  • true self talking with ego
    • true self has our back – ego THINKS it has our back but is really about what is easy, safe and /or familiar
  • Simple, but maybe not easy
  • The quicker we decide to act on an idea, the more likely we will follow through
    • Getting out of bed
    • 5 second rule
    • Melanie Robbins (hopefully a guest)
      • Example:
        • Snooze button
        • Exercise
        • Making a smoothie
        • Finishing this outline
        • Putting down my phone
        • Staying off social media

Challenge for you today:

• Be clear on the direction you WANT to be going, and WHY you want to go there
• Notice your patterns that are getting in your way
• Interrupt the patterns by doing something different
• Repeat all day long

Listen, we all thrive in community. We thrive when we are being supported and joined by a bunch of other people who are diving into the practices and the work that we are engaging in. Do yourself a favor and JOIN THE #JOYFULCOURAGE10 – this is EXACTLY what you need to step into your OWN flow of parenting. This is the jumpstart you need to manifest the family vibe that you desire. We are on a collective journey, and the #JC10 is the party bus you didn’t know that you wanted on – disco ball and all!!  Sign up RIGHT NOW, we start April 1st – www.joyfulcourage.com/jc10

:::::

#Joyfulcourage10

Get ready to commit to ACTION that will change everything!

#Joyfulcourage10 is a 10 day program to kick-start your work in growing awareness and bringing more intention to your parenting. Find out more at www.joyfulcourage.com/jc10

:::::

Mother’s Journey

Are you interested in bringing A Mother’s Journey to your community? Get in touch with me! All MJ workshops happening because people like you reach out and say COME! Fill the room with the mamas you love and enjoy a say of love and learning. Email Casey at casey@joyfulcourage.com to explore the possibility. 

:::::

All the goods at www.joyfulcourage.com/yes

Intention Bracelets

Back by popular demand!! The Joyful Courage intention bracelets are back in stock and I am THRILLED to have been able to have had the community vote on the reminders that are on them…. Breathe, Pause, Trust, Surrender, Kindness – what do you need?

DAILY INTENTION CARDS

What do you think about the Daily Intention Cards???  These cards are designed to support you in your conscious, intentional parenting practice.

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

:::::

Today’s guest is Kelly Flannigan Bos, MSW. Kelly is a clinical therapist focusing on individual, marriage, and family relationships. She helps people find meaning and joy in their relationships - with themselves and others. As a well-known relationship expert, she has appeared in a professional capacity in countless media markets as a guest and writer. Today we are discussing an article she wrote in November called, “I don’t want to write the script for my child’s inner critic.” Join us!

“We’re not always going to have the perfect reactions and we can certainly apologize when we haven’t kept our cool or done the right thing. There’s ways to model other things like resolution or forgiveness.” 

“Does a good brow beating make us feel better, more able to face the challenges ahead of us? Usually not. We often shame ourselves into inertia. Would we ever say these words to a friend? There is a better way. We can be kind to ourselves and get better results and I definitely want kind self talk for my kids." 

“It’s a constant journey but it’s one I know I want to be on so I just keep starting again and if I can be self-compassionate to myself, then I have something to give outside as well.”

What you’ll hear in this episode:

• The role of self-compassion in parenting
• The three tenets of self-compassion
• Moving past the isolation of the shame of not meeting our own expectations
• Over-identification with our problems and how mindfulness can make a difference
• Worry and the reality of the lack of accuracy of our future prediction
• Phases of parenting and worry
• Brain development and parenting – developmental challenges
• Getting out of the emotional whirlwind
• The role of self-comfort, recognizing and acknowledging our own suffering
• Self-compassion as a way to build capacity for parenting challenges
• Self-compassion and it’s relationship to compassion we can extend to others
• Self-compassion for avoiding depletion
• Making self-compassion part of common language in the family
• Family meetings as a vehicle for communicating self-compassion
• Separating the child from the behavior
• Problem solving to avoid over identification with problems
• Fear as a barrier to positive parenting
• Self care as self-compassion
• What to do when you have no room for self-care

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

I think this question is such a great one and it changes often a little bit depending on what we are talking about but I wanted to bring it back to a self-compassion idea. So, joyful courage, when we talk about it today, I’m thinking it really means being able to be loving to myself, even when I don’t feel very lovable, be loving to myself and find that sense of happiness and peace and joy. So being able to push on through things, to hold myself, and know that I’m going to get through this, and I can do something different tomorrow, or I can continue to do it this way, whatever it is, whatever the message needs to be, courageously give yourself that message and you push forward and you’re loving and kind, not judge yourself and finding that you’re a part of many, many people struggling today and you’re not the problem. You’re okay in this moment.

Resources:

I don’t want to write the script for my child’s inner critic

Where to find Kelly:

Facebook

Twitter

Instagram

Website

Youtube

 :::::

#Joyfulcourage10

Get ready to commit to ACTION that will change everything!

#Joyfulcourage10 is a 10 day program to kick-start your work in growing awareness and bringing more intention to your parenting. Find out more at www.joyfulcourage.com/jc10

:::::

Mother’s Journey

Are you interested in bringing A Mother’s Journey to your community? Get in touch with me! All MJ workshops happening because people like you reach out and say COME! Fill the room with the mamas you love and enjoy a say of love and learning. Email Casey at casey@joyfulcourage.com to explore the possibility.

:::::

All the goods at www.joyfulcourage.com/yes

Intention Bracelets

Back by popular demand!! The Joyful Courage intention bracelets are back in stock and I am THRILLED to have been able to have had the community vote on the reminders that are on them…. Breathe, Pause, Trust, Surrender, Kindness – what do you need?

DAILY INTENTION CARDS

What do you think about the Daily Intention Cards???  These cards are designed to support you in your conscious, intentional parenting practice.

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

:::::

Not a lot of show notes today…  I am sharing the feedback and follow through of the Parents and Politics show and talking about letting go of attachment and fear.

Enjoy!!

 :::::

 #Joyfulcourage10

Get ready to commit to ACTION that will change everything!

#Joyfulcourage10 is a 10 day program to kick-start your work in growing awareness and bringing more intention to your parenting. Find out more at www.joyfulcourage.com/jc10

:::::

Mother’s Journey

Are you interested in bringing A Mother’s Journey to your community? Get in touch with me! All MJ workshops happening because people like you reach out and say COME! Fill the room with the mamas you love and enjoy a say of love and learning. Email Casey at casey@joyfulcourage.com to explore the possibility.

:::::

All the goods at www.joyfulcourage.com/yes

Intention Bracelets

Back by popular demand!! The Joyful Courage intention bracelets are back in stock and I am THRILLED to have been able to have had the community vote on the reminders that are on them…. Breathe, Pause, Trust, Surrender, Kindness – what do you need?

DAILY INTENTION CARDS

What do you think about the Daily Intention Cards???  These cards are designed to support you in your conscious, intentional parenting practice.

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

:::::

Today’s guest is Rebecca Eanes, the author of two books for parents: Positive Parenting The Essential Guide and The Newbie’s Guide to Positive Parenting. She is back to talk to us about her newest resource for parents: The Positive Parenting Workbook. Rebecca leads a community of over a million on her Facebook page, Positive Parenting Toddlers and Beyond.  Join us!

 “I see and speak about parenting as a journey… and the journey is a continuous invitation to continue to practice being the parent we want to be as often as possible.”

“Parenting is one long personal development workshop.”   

“My kids are the best mirrors because in them I have seen my own negative attitudes and bad moods and emotional reactions in really every area that I needed to improve upon.”

“I think we definitely grow ourselves up in the process of helping our kids grow up.”

“Our kids are going to make mistakes every day. If they had perfect parents, they would not know how to get through this world.” 

“Be as gentle and respectful with yourself as you are trying to be with your kids. You are not perfect either and you don’t have to be. We are all growing, we are all learning, we are all flawed, and we all need grace. This is a journey and there’s not a destination yet that I’ve seen. It’s an ever going thing so be good to yourself along the way.”

What you’ll hear in this episode:

• Dealing with swearing and supporting kids in navigating different rules in different situations
• Positive parenting and what it really means
• The role of mutual respect in positive parenting
• Identifying underlying issues under disrespect
• Shifting focus: from disrespectful behavior itself to supporting learning that leads to respectful behavior.
• Leadership in positive parenting
• Non-negotiables and positive parenting
• The value in personal development and parenting
• Moving from behavior patrol to positive parenting
• The origins of the Positive Parenting Workbook
• Discipline as part of the parenting pie
• 7 Pillars of family culture as part of positive parenting
• Words of wisdom for parents working towards positive parenting

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

I think Joyful Courage means being brave enough to go against the grain to live true to you and confident enough to believe in yourself and to do so with joy.

Resources:

Positive Parents website
The Positive Parenting Workbook
The Newbie’s Guide to Positive Parenting
Positive Parenting: An Essential Guide
Positive Parenting In Action 

Where to find Rebecca:

Facebook
Twitter
Instagram
Positive Parents website
Pinterest
Creative Child Magazine 
Mother.ly

::::: 

#Joyfulcourage10

Get ready to commit to ACTION that will change everything!

#Joyfulcourage10 is a 10 day program to kickstart your work in growing awareness and bringing more intention to your parenting. Find out more at www.joyfulcourage.com/jc10

:::::

Mother’s Journey 

Are you interested in bringing A Mother’s Journey to your community? Get in touch with me! All MJ workshops happening because people like you reach out and say COME! Fill the room with the mamas you love and enjoy a say of love and learning. Email Casey at casey@joyfulcourage.com to explore the possibility.

:::::

 All the goods at www.joyfulcourage.com/yes

Intention Bracelets

Back by popular demand!! The Joyful Courage intention bracelets are back in stock and I am THRILLED to have been able to have had the community vote on the reminders that are on them…. Breathe, Pause, Trust, Surrender, Kindness – what do you need?

DAILY INTENTION CARDS 

What do you think about the Daily Intention Cards???  These cards are designed to support you in your conscious, intentional parenting practice.

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

:::::

Politics and Parenting - can we keep them separate?

Do we want to?

Issues:

• Birth
• Breastfeeding
• Spanking
• Schooling
• Homework

 I am recoding Thursday, Feb 22, a week ago, a community woke up to realize that the tragedy that had rocked their community the day before was not a nightmare. 19 year old Nicholas Cruz showed up at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida and killed 17 people. Kids, adults, 17 people who are now being grieved by friends and family….

I am done with this headline

I am also done with feeling like I can’t speak my truth for fear of offending people.

I dove into following the teens that have been energized into action.

I posted my thoughts on my personal FB page.

Wednesday, I posted on my IG account and linked the post to my FB Biz page.

I posted a meme that said “The children almost broken by the world will become the adults who save it.” Crediting Frank Warren for the quote. Here is the post I wrote:

So here is how I am feeling.... My kids aren’t broken, HOWEVER this school shooting/random acts of violence BS had got to stop. Humans are hurting, guns are too available, schools aren’t secure - there is a lot going on under the surface here. I will no longer complain about it, I will ACT. I will be IN ACTION. And with this action I will inspire others to see how THEY can act, including the two that matter most to me. 
:::::
Rowan and Ian, I love you. I will fight for you. I will get uncomfortable, and curious, and let go of what people think to fight for YOUR future and YOUR safety. You, and ALL kids deserve this from the adults that came before you.
:::::
Stay tuned.

I got one reply from one of my followers asking me to not get political. She acknowledged that wasn’t why she followed me and advised me to continue on as the resource I am in creating change. She was totally respectful in her tone, however, she was clear with her message. 

Sorry, not sorry. I will not be silent. I am a political being. I speak about things that relate to the public affairs of our country.  WE ARE RAISING ADULTS – future leaders and citizens of the world – how is that not political???

I don’t imagine that everyone who follows Joyful Courage share all of my views. I am guessing that you all realize that I am a flaming liberal – and if you didn’t, well, cats out of the bag.

• I support dignity and respect for all humans.
• Black lives matter to me.
• Immigrant lives matter to me.
• Woman having equal rights, including rights over their body matters to me.
• I believe that people have the right to gather and worship in a way that works for them.
• I believe in climate change and the duty we ALL have to honor the earth.
• I believe that people who are raised to feel connected, loved and as though they matter don’t show up at public or private events with the intent to kill.
• I do not believe that private citizens have the right to own weapons of war.
• I believe our schools should be safe and secure.
• I do not believe that teachers should have guns.
• I believe in a health care system that is proactive in supporting the mentally ill.
• I believe in compassion.
• I believe in civic action.

Some of what I just shared may turn you off to my work and my message. I hope it doesn’t, because at the most foundational level, I believe in love – living it, spreading it, being it. And that is what will save the world.

“Love thy neighbor as thyself” is a message of all major religions – and when THIS is our come-from, when THIS message is what we start to live, the world will be healed.

And I acknowledge that it isn’t easy. It isn’t easy to put ourselves out there and speak our truths

• we don’t want to offend
• we don’t want to argue
• we worry about what people think
• we want everyone to be comfortable

And right now the environment is so TOXIC! It is so challenging to talk about the issues that matter the most to us. It is scary to get vulnerable and say what we need to say, to lead from the front.

Today I declare that I am no longer going to worry about ruffling feathers. I will continue to share the content that you have come to love, and I will elevate it by pushing my fear aside.

I will bring more of myself.

I will bring more of my authenticity and truth.

I will leave behind wanting everyone to like me.

I am done with school shootings, and my guess is you are too.

It is time to have hard conversations.

It is time to look for solutions.

It is time to get involved, ask questions, reach out and trust that your voice is valued. 

Humans are hurting.

Weapons of war are too available.

Schools aren’t secure.

So lets do something about it.

Here is what I have done over the past few days….

• I emailed the admin team at my daughters HS to voice my concern and to educate myself around what is already in place. I also offered myself as a community member to partner with them to be in deeper relationships with parents and community about how they are keeping our kids safe, including fostering a sense of belonging.
• I put the monthly principal/parent meet-and-greets on my calendar so that I would go. I am not planning on being on the outside looking in anymore. I want those administrators to know me by name. I want to support them, challenge them and work with them to make my kids schools better
• I put in a call to our district “safety and risk assessment” person. I left a message and will follow up with an email. Again, I invited myself into the conversation and offered myself as a partner in the work he is already doing.
• I emailed out local “community coalition” about an idea of have for running a film festival in our town to highlight documentaries that invite conversations around teens and screens, toxic masculinity, the message our girls are getting, and anxiety. I am going to foster community conversations about the things so many of us have opinions and fears about but ARENT TALKING ABOUT.
• All of this on top of calling my representative and showing up to meetings and rallies for smarter gun laws….

This may not have been why you tuned into the podcast today. I thought I gave a pretty good heads up with the title “Parenting and Politics”.  The good news is there are over 100 other episodes you can turn to today for parenting tips and inspiration.

Today is about action.

Thank you.

Thank you for listening. I feel as though it is my responsibility to speak these truth, it is my responsibility to not pretend that all is well and good and that the world our children are inheriting is going to magically be peaceful.

We are in the creation of the world we live in. Everything we do is part of the creation.

• What we buy
• Who we vote for
• Whether or not we speak up when we get that intuitive hit that what we are witnessing is wrong

We are in the creation even when WE DO NOTHING. Even when we turn away because it is too hard, or too scary, or too vulnerable – we are STILL in the creation of the world we live in.

I choose to be in action. And I hope you join me.

:::::

Chaos to Calm

New offer from Casey!!

This is a four part video training that will support you in transforming the climate of your home.  More information at http://www.joyfulcourage.com/chaos

:::::

Mother’s Journey

Are you interested in bringing A Mother’s Journey to your community? Get in touch with me! All MJ workshops happening because people like you reach out and say COME! Fill the room with the mamas you love and enjoy a say of love and learning. Email Casey at casey@joyfulcourage.com to explore the possibility.

:::::

All the goods at www.joyfulcourage.com/yes

Intention Bracelets

Back by popular demand!! The Joyful Courage intention bracelets are back in stock and I am THRILLED to have been able to have had the community vote on the reminders that are on them…. Breathe, Pause, Trust, Surrender, Kindness – what do you need?

DAILY INTENTION CARDS

What do you think about the Daily Intention Cards???  These cards are designed to support you in your conscious, intentional parenting practice.

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

:::::

Today’s guest is Liz Haske, a mother, an international teacher and instructional coach and children’s book author. She has over 15 years elementary classroom experience in six different countries and is super passionate about empowering children to be their most courageous selves.  Her first book, When Worry Takes Hold, was released in November 2017 and aims to help young children cope with worry by using mindful breathing. Join us!

“It’s about a young girl who’s afraid to do different things and she realizes that she has the power inside her and if she puts her hands on her belly, she can be brave.”

“Stories help us be better people if we are reading the right books”

“We want to empower these little people to realize they can do it. They can develop the tools and they can be confident and they can face what is presented to them in healthy and positive ways.”

“Worry gets bigger and bigger the more that we do it.”

“We can be brave, and everyone has worries … whether it’s helping our kids be brave or us being brave to face whatever parenting challenge it may be.”

“Courage is just a deep breath away.” 

What you’ll hear in this episode:

• The basis & inspiration for When Worry Takes Hold
• Worry as a visitor and the power to ask it to leave
• Acknowledging & expecting worry
• Externalizing worry and setting limits
• Following the why – getting to the root of big feelings
• Manifestations and signs of worry
• Addressing underlying worry vs. addressing the behaviors
• Taking a wide view to problem solving worry
• How not to take worry related behaviors personally
• Why trying to talk kids out of their worries doesn’t work
• Managing worry as a practice
• Tools for managing worry and how they can be applied to other situations
• Mindful breathing vs. “Let’s take some deep breaths”
• The power of mindful breathing
• How to know when to get professional help (duration, intensity, impact, age appropriateness)
• Journaling worries to find patterns and icebergs
• Liz’s upcoming projects on the horizon
• The importance of exercising self-compassion

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

I’m going to answer it in two parts. I’d say the first way, which is for me personally, is finally having the courage to do something I’ve been dreaming about for over ten years and the absolute joy of going through the learning process of taking an idea and turning it into something that kids can hold in their hands and hopefully read and become better because of it. So that is absolutely Joyful Courage.

But I think it’s also in the context of kids the feeling that they get when they face their fear and they realize how empowered they are. It might not be breathing is their strategy, but perhaps When Worry Takes Hold might be a book that just starts a conversation with them and an adult in their life that, “Yeah, you know what, I do get a bit worried. Let’s try this breathing thing.” And, “You know what? This breathing thing isn’t working for me.” But then, there’s now this opening for more tools to be introduced because it’s something that’s been brought to the surface.

The book ends with, “Courage is just a deep breath away.” I think that when children can realize this, they’re empowered. There’s really a pure sense of pride and joy in being brave and finding courage and so that’s kind of what it means to me.  

Resources:

When Worry Takes Hold

Where to find Liz:

Facebook

Instagram

Website

Twitter

:::::

Chaos to Calm

New offer from Casey!!

This is a four part video training that will support you in transforming the climate of your home.  More information at http://www.joyfulcourage.com/chaos

:::::

Mother’s Journey 

Are you interested in bringing A Mother’s Journey to your community? Get in touch with me! All MJ workshops happening because people like you reach out and say COME! Fill the room with the mamas you love and enjoy a say of love and learning. Email Casey at casey@joyfulcourage.com to explore the possibility.

:::::

All the goods at www.joyfulcourage.com/yes

Intention Bracelets 

Back by popular demand!! The Joyful Courage intention bracelets are back in stock and I am THRILLED to have been able to have had the community vote on the reminders that are on them…. Breathe, Pause, Trust, Surrender, Kindness – what do you need?

DAILY INTENTION CARDS

 What do you think about the Daily Intention Cards???  These cards are designed to support you in your conscious, intentional parenting practice.

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

:::::

A solo show all about routines

There are a couple tools, that when put into place, make the whole parenting journey easier.  You have heard me talk about special time, that one on one time that is so important for building relationship and a solid foundation of belonging and significance for our kids.

Challenges coming up in the LLWJC group

• mornings, bedtimes, defiance, meltdowns, sibling issues
  • We find ourselves putting out fires
  • We find ourselves being overtaxed
  • We find ourselves slipping OUT of who we want to be and INTO crazy parent
  • This is also where we loose sight of the way that we are contributing to the chaos at hand….
    • We blame out kids
    • We fall into the trap of “it is always so difficult”
    • We forget that there is always a flow that comes after the ebb….

Yes, special time helps with the challenges mentioned about.

The relationship we nurture with our kids is what has the biggest impact on their behavior, absolutely.

AND, another tool that is super helpful to come back to, again and again, is co-creating routines.

Now, if you are someone with challenges in the morning, or after school, you may be thinking, but we have a routine, and it isn’t working!!!

GREAT.

Not all routines are created equal.

• Routines are made to be modified and changed up
• Routines designed to be HELPFUL for everyone will be the most USEFUL

Mindset matters

• This is not about getting your kids to do what you want them to do
• This is about helping your children feel like capable, contributing members of the family
• This is about the process, the opportunity that exists inside the challenge that is currently at the surface

Take a deeper look…

• Co creating routines means that you are CO CREATING
• Find a time of day when everyone is feeling good, connected
• Opening up the conversation to child about how they experience the challenging time of day, validate their feelings, listen and let them know you are taking their sharing to heart – this is not time to talk them out of what they are experiencing or getting them to “see your side”
• Clear out the space through taking accountability for your behavior. This is really important.
• Ask for their help to make that time of day easier/better for everyone
• Brainstorm ideas/tasks
• Offer/counter offer if you need to
• Be open to their ideas
• Be firm/not rigid around your non-negotiables
  • “This is what is important to me, how could we make that work?”
  • “What is your idea for that?”
• Cross off anything that isn’t related/reasonable/respectful/helpful on the list
• Work together to create a visual reminder
• Try it for a week

But, but, but what if it doesn’t “work”

• Shifting to what is “helpful”
• Focus on the process
• TRUST the process
• Let the routine be the boss
• Revisit at the end of the week and tweak if necessary

So many routines….

• Housework
• Family Meetings
• Mornings
• Afterschool
• Bedtime

Take it slow – let go of urgency

How you show up matters

Be in your practice of curiosity and openness – catch yourself when you want to judge  (roshambo/coin flip) Currently in a new routine of turning screens off from 5-7.  This is a slippery place for us….

Recently posted a handout on the live and love page – will put it in the show notes – for walking through this process. Let me know if you have any questions!

:::::

Chaos to Calm

New offer from Casey!!

This is a four part video training that will support you in transforming the climate of your home.  More information at http://www.joyfulcourage.com/chaos

:::::

All the goods at www.joyfulcourage.com/yes

Intention Bracelets

Back by popular demand!! The Joyful Courage intention bracelets are back in stock and I am THRILLED to have been able to have had the community vote on the reminders that are on them…. Breathe, Pause, Trust, Surrender, Kindness – what do you need?? 

Joyful Courage SHIRTS

Women cut tanks and tees are ready for you to BUY NOW!!  Wearable reminders for how you want to show up in the world.

DAILY INTENTION CARDS

What do you think about the Daily Intention Cards???  These cards are designed to support you in your conscious, intentional parenting practice.

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

:::::

Julie Miller is on with us!

Julie is on a mission to live a delicious life and bring joy back to the family dinner table.  She is a Registered Dietitian Nutritionist and Certified Positive Discipline Parenting Educator who holds a Master’s Degree in Human Nutrition from Bastyr University.  She has over 16 years’ experience sharing food and nutrition philosophy with diverse communities throughout the Seattle area. 

Julie currently specializes in helping families find their own positive feeding dynamic so that food is less of a parenting chore and more of a nourishing experience.  She believes that connection between adults, children and food sets the stage for a lifetime of personal wellness, including healthy eating.  Julie knows, as a Mom, that the constant demand to prepare and serve food can get just a wee bit tiring and tricky.  She emphasizes reducing the drama and eating minimally processed foods, while ensuring that children and adults meet their nutritional needs to support growth, development and wellbeing.   

Content:

• Got into nutrition for personal reasons
• Had kids and discovered PD
• So much judgment in parenting – especially fierce around food
• Helps parents to make parenting around food a nourishing experience for everyone
• Most typical complaint? “I don’t like it”
• Second biggest? Picky eating
• Parental Fatigue – parents DON’T want to cook but DO want to feel kids good food
• PD says – “Eating, sleeping, pottying, you can’t make them do it!”
• You CAN work on belonging, significance and influence
• They need to be guided, not forced
• Division of responsibility – defining roles (Ellen Satter’s work)
  • Parent responsible for what, when, where AND maintaining connection
  • Child responsible for what they eat and how much
• Story about Rowan drinking caffeine
• Over 12 100mg isn’t terrible
• Under 12 no caffeine
• Guide THEM in using the information to make informed choices
• Until it is personally meaningful for them to feel the effects of their choices, behavior won’t change
• AND they learn what they live
• Before bed snacks….
  • Timing
• Thank you bites??
• What about suggesting…..
  • Serve food family style. Parents can mentioned all the items that are available, then the parents job is done….
• What about the salad??
• Short term vs long term goals
• Let go of judgement
• Invite kids into planning/cooking to bulk up their belonging/significance/influence
• Your job is to provide food, provide some structure and love them unconditionally
• Let go of self judgement/what others think/fear <3

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

Joyful Courage to me is the invitation to live boldly with your own truth, to hold tight to your own convictions and values for your family and your children, and to do it in a joyful way….

Find Julie:

www.harmonioustable.net
email at jmillernutrition@comcast.net
Live workshops in Seattle – reach out to hire Julie

 :::::

Chaos to Calm 

New offer from Casey!!

This is a four part video training that will support you in transforming the climate of your home.  More information at http://www.joyfulcourage.com/chaos

:::::

 All the goods at www.joyfulcourage.com/yes

Intention Bracelets 

Back by popular demand!! The Joyful Courage intention bracelets are back in stock and I am THRILLED to have been able to have had the community vote on the reminders that are on them…. Breathe, Pause, Trust, Surrender, Kindness – what do you need?

Joyful Courage SHIRTS

Women cut tanks and tees are ready for you to BUY NOW!!  Wearable reminders for how you want to show up in the world.

DAILY INTENTION CARDS

What do you think about the Daily Intention Cards???  These cards are designed to support you in your conscious, intentional parenting practice.

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

:::::

Content:

Solo show today – from the car….  Thank you for having grace for my audio quality this week!! Feeling inspired to share with you on my way to yoga class.

All about the Iceberg Metaphor

• Shout out to all the parents of teens out there who are showing up and sharing and willing to be vulnerable
• Connecting seeing an iceberg as a metaphor for children’s behavior
• Unwanted behavior is the “tip” of the iceberg
  • The behavior that we see
• Under the surface -
  • What’s opening the door to the behavior?
    • Perception of connection
    • Perception of influence
    • Perception of mattering
    • Trauma/adversity
      • Kids are ALWAYS making meaning with their underdeveloped brain – and forming beliefs from that place
    • Lacking skills for navigating the challenges/emotions that show up
  • Moving from a place of strengthening relationship as a way to understand what is below the surface, to help us influence the behavior at the tip
  • Episode 104 on Making Amends
  • Always be moving towards nurturing relationship
• What are some of the things YOU do to look under the surface? Head over to Live and Love with Joyful Courage and share!

:::::

Journey to Joy Ecourse

Journey to Joy is a 3-part offer. 

Each Module contains a video, audio and workbook to guide you in doing your work.

You will increase your awareness around the areas you are stuck (you know, the irritation that never seems to go away... the exhaustion, the guilt and shame that shows up so often after you have "dealt with" the challenges your kids bring on a regular basis.

You will spend time exploring new choices, new ways of being...  Inviting in the qualities that are missing.  Love, compassion, self-acceptance and non-judgement...  You will learn how to open up your body and allow these emotions in.

You will create a practice for teaching your body and mind a NEW pattern, making this new way of being more readily available when you need it.

SO EXCITED to share this with you!  Get more info and register at www.joyfulcourage.com/joy

::::: 

All the goods at www.joyfulcourage.com/yes

Intention Bracelets

Back by popular demand!! The Joyful Courage intention bracelets are back in stock and I am THRILLED to have been able to have had the community vote on the reminders that are on them…. Breathe, Pause, Trust, Surrender, Kindness – what do you need?

DAILY INTENTION CARDS

What do you think about the Daily Intention Cards???  These cards are designed to support you in your conscious, intentional parenting practice.

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on iTunes to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast on iTunes to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

:::::

Alright - My guest today is Liz Blackwell-Moore. I connected with Liz through my friend, and one of your fave podcast guests, Julietta Skoog from besproutable.com. I am so excited to have Liz on today to talk about an incredibly relevant topic – kids and drugs. GAH. I know. No one really WANTS to talk about this, but we have to.

Liz has been working in the field of substance use since 2000. Her current work involves working with community coalitions and organizations to provide training on prevention strategies as well as technical assistance to translate public health research into practice and implement a restorative trauma-informed approach to addressing public health problems.

So basically, Liz is going to break it all down for us in a way that is helpful.  She lives in Portland, Maine with her wife, two happy kids, and a puppy.

Content:

• Liz shares about her early work with people involved with substance abuse and was drawn to exploring prevention work
• How can we make “systems” (including the family) better for young people, with more support in their lives?
• What the “risk taking years” feels like, according to Casey
• Liz shares her moms’ analogy of the two boats
• Adolescent brain development
  • It’s like a house being build bottom up
  • Built through interactions and the environment kids experience
  • Reward center develops first – ready to go, “volume turned up”
  • Front, logical part of brain not fully developed, and not integrated
  • W/o the desire to try new things, how would they ever leave home??
• The perception and science of marijuana and adolescence
  • National Academy of Sciences – research on the research
    • Young people using
      • Impacts learning and memory
      • Significant effects on mental health
        • “Regular use” – once every 30 days
        • 2xs more likely to become depressed
        • 3xs more likely to have suicidal thoughts
        • Kids with MH issues are more likely to use/self-medicate
      • Initially make people feel calm/relaxed
        • Brain likes to do what’s easy so eventually wants more
      • What about vaping
        • Tobacco companies are SO LAME – trying to suck in kids
        • Some kids just the flavoring
          • Not regulated – we don’t know what is in it
        • Lots of kids ARE putting nicotine and weed into the vape
      • All drugs impact the reward center of the brain – putting young people at a greater risk of addiction later in life
        • Rewires/primes the brain for addiction
      • How do we get them to wait????
      • Relationship is the most powerful tool we have… Share our values…  AND – THEY HAVE CRAZY REWARD CENTERS!!!  GAH!!!
        • Be present, listen, develop a strong relationship
        • Set clear expectations – bring it up in a variety of ways
        • Continue to bring it back to what their goals are, how might risky behavior get in the way?
        • Help them to “see” the bigger picture
        • Restorative practices: Hold them accountable while offering support
          • What are you getting out of this?
          • What were you thinking?
          • How else can you get thrills?
          • Social connection?
          • Is this a mental health issue?
        • Having these conversations REQUIRES the adults to be in solid relationship with their kids
        • Also, our stuff shows up and gets in the way – fear, rigidity
        • Ok to say, “this is disappointing” “this is hard for me” – they need to know how they are impacting their parents
        • Teens aren’t great with nuance
        • SLEEP MATTERS!!
        • Natural consequences are powerful
        • Boundaries are MESSY
        • How do we balance nurture and structure?? It’s a dance
        • How do we know when it really is a problem?
          • Major changes in physical appearance
          • Personality
          • Participation
          • Peer group changes
          • Public image has changed
        • org – online resources
        • 20-minute guide – helping parents use motivational interviewing 20inuteguide.com
        • Find your people!
        • There is uncertainty and change AND we all have flexible, learning brains – we can be resilient!!

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

For me it means trying to see those amazing things that are happening as you move through adolescence – having the courage to stick with your values and follow our instincts…

Resources:
https://the20minuteguide.com/
http://www.drugfree.org/

Good reading on the teen brain:
Dan Siegel Brainstorm
Francis Jensen The Teenage Brain

Links for young people:
http://www.teen.drugabuse.gov/
*This is National Institute of Drug Abuse website for teens

http://www.protectwhatsnext.com/
*This is a website out of Colorado for young people specifically about marijuana use

Where to find Liz:

Birchlanestrategies.com (under-construction)
Linked in

:::::

Journey to Joy Ecourse

Journey to Joy is a 3-part offer. 

Each Module contains a video, audio and workbook to guide you in doing your work.

You will increase your awareness around the areas you are stuck (you know, the irritation that never seems to go away... the exhaustion, the guilt and shame that shows up so often after you have "dealt with" the challenges your kids bring on a regular basis.

You will spend time exploring new choices, new ways of being...  Inviting in the qualities that are missing.  Love, compassion, self-acceptance and non-judgement...  You will learn how to open up your body and allow these emotions in.

You will create a practice for teaching your body and mind a NEW pattern, making this new way of being more readily available when you need it.

SO EXCITED to share this with you!  Get more info and register at www.joyfulcourage.com/joy

:::::

All the goods at www.joyfulcourage.com/yes

Intention Bracelets

Back by popular demand!! The Joyful Courage intention bracelets are back in stock and I am THRILLED to have been able to have had the community vote on the reminders that are on them…. Breathe, Pause, Trust, Surrender, Kindness – what do you need?

Joyful Courage SHIRTS

Women cut tanks and tees are ready for you to BUY NOW!!  Wearable reminders for how you want to show up in the world.

DAILY INTENTION CARDS 

What do you think about the Daily Intention Cards???  These cards are designed to support you in your conscious, intentional parenting practice.

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on iTunes to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast on iTunes to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

:::::

Holding space for having a 15 YEAR OLD!!  WHOA!!

What is happening in the BIZ

• Membership is HAPPENING
• Alumni group calls
• Ecourses
• Coaching calls
  • What is happening in the collective is happening in the individual
  • I speak to the community and I am speaking to myself
  • TRUST – BIG PICTURE – MARATHON NOT A SPRINT

How to “hold the container”

• Jessica talking about “our job is to be the container”
• Present, available, confident – even as our kids are making mistakes
• I got you – I am unconditional

Our response matters

• Who we be comes before what we do
  • We can handle it
  • Everything will be ok, or not, either way, we stand by our kids
  • We trust that they can handle what life gives them, and we support them inside of that (the world’s consequences, etc)
• What to do becomes more clear when we practice being in the moment, vs in our emo/fear
  • Learn how to recognize we are there when we are there
  • Practice being with our overwhelm without letting it takes us over (observers)
    • Simple but not easy!!! Takes time!!
  • What we are trying to do is REWIRE the brain (Tina Bryson show 126)
  • Be witness to the presence of the emotional freight train, but let it idle
    • My book!!! Next Fall!!!  WOOHOO

Our kids make mistakes

• Lagging skills/ impulse/ brain development – DON’T BE SURPRISED BY IT
• Cause and effect
• Pushing boundaries to know where they are and who YOU are in the process
  • Making judgements about themselves and their peeps
    • Trust? Safety? Dependability? Can they handle this???

BUT WHAT DO WE DO???

• Alfie Kohn, Unconditional Parenting – “I am not going to sit here and pretend that I have all the answers to all of your problems. I don’t know you or your families…”
• What are the outcomes that you want? What are the skills that you are hoping that your adult child will one day embody?
  • What are the skills your child is showing you (through behavior) that they are missing?
  • What is a solution to the challenge that will help them learn those skills?
  • Is there something to “make right”?
  • How can you say less and listen more???
  • Remember – finding solutions to problems, including a “plan for next time” or a “plan to fix the mistake/make things right,” finding solutions are always consequences – HOWEVER consequences that we impose on our children are NOT always a solution to problems.
    • WHAT DO WE DO often is a request for “what do we do to them?”

Kids do better when they feel better. – Jane Nelsen

Kids want to succeed, they don't always know how. – Ross Greene

A Misbehaving child is a discouraged child. – Rudolf Dreikurs

Humans are always moving towards a sense of belonging and significance, am I connected? Do I matter? – from Aderian Theory

The most powerful tool you have for influencing behavior is the relationship that you nurture with your child. Choosing into the work of Joyful Courage, which really means being willing to grow and practice awareness, being present to your child and your experience, and hold space for your kids, no matter how they are showing up, THIS will nurture and preserve relationship.

So – what do you think? Does this make sense to you?? Do you have thoughts about this?

Come join the community discussion over in Live and Love with Joyful Courage. This is a closed FB group for listeners and parents that appreciate this conversation and are committed to learning and supporting each other on the journey.

Thank you so much for listening today – super DUPER appreciate all you moms and dads out there doing the work of making the world a better place through showing up well for your children!!

I will be back next week with Liz Blackwell-Moore talking about teens and drugs – GAH!!!  I know – it’s scary, but listen anyways because she is brilliant and the conversation is helpful!!

Big love!!

:::::

Journey to Joy Ecourse

Journey to Joy is a 3 part offer. 

Each Module contains a video, audio and workbook to guide you in doing your work.

You will increase your awareness around the areas you are stuck (you know, the irritation that never seems to go away... the exhaustion, the guilt and shame that shows up so often after you have "dealt with" the challenges your kids bring on a regular basis.

You will spend time exploring new choices, new ways of being...  Inviting in the qualities that are missing.  Love, compassion, self acceptance and non-judgement...  You will learn how to open up your body and allow these emotions in.

You will create a practice for teaching your body and mind a NEW pattern, making this new way of being more readily available when you need it.

SO EXCITED to share this with you!  Get more info and register at www.joyfulcourage.com/joy

:::::

All the goods at www.joyfulcourage.com/yes

Intention Bracelets

Back by popular demand!! The Joyful Courage intention bracelets are back in stock and I am THRILLED to have been able to have had the community vote on the reminders that are on them…. Breathe, Pause, Trust, Surrender, Kindness – what do you need?.

Joyful Courage SHIRTS

Women cut tanks and tees are ready for you to BUY NOW!!  Wearable reminders for how you want to show up in the world.

DAILY INTENTION CARDS

What do you think about the Daily Intention Cards???  These cards are designed to support you in your conscious, intentional parenting practice.

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on iTunes to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast on iTunes to help me spread the show to an ever larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

:::::

Welcome, thank you for showing up! 

Tina Bryson is BACK ON the podcast today!!  You all remember Tina from Eps 100 – which happens to be THE most downloaded show to date of this podcast.

Tina co-authored two of MY fave parenting books, the whole brain child and no drama discipline with Dan Siegel and she is BACK on the podcast today to talk about her NEW book, the yes brain.

I am THRILLED she is back on….

Content:

• The Yes Brain is available NOW
• Tina is a mama to 17, 14, and 11 year boys
• Yes brain and no brain approaches
  • A “yes brain” is a mindset of saying yes to the world, open – neurological state, our brain is integrated and linked up… Over time it becomes hardwired
  • A “no brain” is fearful, reactive
• Prompted by “what are the skills my child needs to be successful?” – Tina and Dan Siegel wanted to go beyond academics and gold stars
  • They need an integrated brain that has a strong/functioning prefrontal cortex
• Yes Brain has 4 Components:
  • Balance
  • Resilience
  • Insight
  • Empathy
• Developmental brain/age/temperament matters
• Tina shares a story about her own son who seemed to be lacking empathy at a young age
• Brain develops through experience - What we emphasize (as parents) in our interactions create new linking connection in the brain.
• Use books, shows, and real world experiences to model and draw forth empathy in our kids
• Trust development, trust that what you are doing will pay off
• Supporting our children in feeling their feelings – support them as they practice tolerating difficult feelings
• Normalize difficult feelings…
• 2-3 tools to put into practice:
  • Sleep!!!
    • When we sleep the brain LITERALLY freshens up
  • Survive emotional dysregulation
    • When kids are at their worst is when they need us the most
    • Co-regulaton – a soothing presence to communicate “you’re safe, I’m here”
    • Build/teach skills to help them regulate themselves – GREEN ZONE
    • Check out Eps 100 to hear Tina dig deeper into this
    • Teach them to understand themselves
  • Rethinking success
    • Our children having an authentic self that they can trust
    • It’s about the journey and not JUST the destination
    • BIGGER than gold stars and academics
  • Eudaimonia – happiness comes from meaning, connection and peaceful contentment

Tinabryson.com

:::::

Journey to Joy Ecourse

Journey to Joy is a 3 part offer. 

Each Module contains a video, audio and workbook to guide you in doing your work.

You will increase your awareness around the areas you are stuck (you know, the irritation that never seems to go away... the exhaustion, the guilt and shame that shows up so often after you have "dealt with" the challenges your kids bring on a regular basis.

You will spend time exploring new choices, new ways of being...  Inviting in the qualities that are missing.  Love, compassion, self acceptance and non-judgement...  You will learn how to open up your body and allow these emotions in.

You will create a practice for teaching your body and mind a NEW pattern, making this new way of being more readily available when you need it.

SO EXCITED to share this with you!  Get more info and register at www.joyfulcourage.com/joy

:::::

All the goods at www.joyfulcourage.com/yes

Intention Bracelets 

Back by popular demand!! The Joyful Courage intention bracelets are back in stock and I am THRILLED to have been able to have had the community vote on the reminders that are on them…. Breathe, Pause, Trust, Surrender, Kindness – what do you need?.

Joyful Courage SHIRTS

Women cut tanks and tees are ready for you to BUY NOW!!  Wearable reminders for how you want to show up in the world.

DAILY INTENTION CARDS

What do you think about the Daily Intention Cards???  These cards are designed to support you in your conscious, intentional parenting practice.

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on iTunes to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast on iTunes to help me spread the show to an ever larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

:::::

Welcome, thank you for showing up!

Content:

Super happy new year

• Love that everything is possible
• Fresh opportunities
• Embodiment of excitement/anticipation

 The work of parenting….

• Really the work of human-ing
• Being in relationship with self/others
• Recognizing our own conditioning and breaking through to our souls desires
• Honored to support

Todays topic – what it means to hold the container and get the results you WANT

My experience of big goals and daily intentions/practices – a bit from my conversation with Edna – areas of growth for me around supporting my clients in declaring and creating results in their lives.

• Overarching goals “What do you want at the end of our work? How will you measure success?” This can be anything from potty trained toddlers (Katie’s reflection)/easier bedtime/deeper relationship with teens (Lorrianes feedback)/less yelling and more loving…
  • Some is easy to measure, some, not so much….
  • PLUS it is a pendulum swing
• Many. Small. Steps.

It is so important to set goals – that way you know where you are going.

• Cruise control vs being intentional
• Being intentional DOES require you to face some hard truths sometimes, to bump up against thoughts/ beliefs / emotions that maybe you have become really skilled at avoiding
• AND to live the fullest, most authentic life, we must make room for ALL of it – even the stuff that is hard

 Setting goals

• I have weekly, monthly, quarterly and annual goals
• They all feed into each other
• The baby steps I take during the week set up my for the monthly goals,etc
• The ANNUAL GOALS are the container (remember, I mentioned that earlier?)

 Living the practice

• It’s not even really about the goals, it is about the journey TO the goals.
• It is about going 100%
  • Reference Krista’s blog post about 100% is easy
  • https://boldlyembodylife.com/bold-notes/.
• It’s every moment of saying yes to the practice we have decided to commit to.
• “To be responsible, keep your promises to others, to be successful, keep your promises to yourself.” – Marie Forleo
  • what this means to me….
  • Yes to myself for myself
  • How that then influences the entire ecosystem around me
    • What do I mean by ecosystem?
    • What happens in a healthy environment? Everything is influenced

My goals for 2018

• Biz
  • Ok – you all know how completely passionate I am about Joyful Courage
    • Elevation with programs and podcast
    • Being my OWN sponsor
    • Continuously working to streamline the exchange of service <3
  • Family
    • SPECIAL TIME
      • Family meetings - VIGILANT
      • Small weekly “dates”
      • Monthly bigger “dates”
        • CONNECTION CONNECTION CONNECTION
      • Personal
        • HEALTH
          • Sacred mornings
          • Whole 30/ fueling my body with what it NEEDS
          • MOVEMENT – yoga every day

 Mistakes and compassion

• Ebbs and flows
• Stumbling blocks challenges
  • ALL OF THIS ^^ is a PART OF THE PATH
  • Wake up calls to more intention!
  • Things to CELEBRATE

Always moving forward

• What are your goals for 2018?
• What will you be practicing daily?
• How will you support yourself in this important work?
• Do you want a community?
  • SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS HERE

OH – also wanted to share my WORD OF THE YEAR!!!

• GRATITUDE
• Get yours at https://boldlyembodylife.com/word-of-the-year-2018/

:::::

Journey to Joy Ecourse

Journey to Joy is a 3 part offer. 

Each Module contains a video, audio and workbook to guide you in doing your work. 

You will increase your awareness around the areas you are stuck (you know, the irritation that never seems to go away... the exhaustion, the guilt and shame that shows up so often after you have "dealt with" the challenges your kids bring on a regular basis.

You will spend time exploring new choices, new ways of being...  Inviting in the qualities that are missing.  Love, compassion, self acceptance and non-judgement...  You will learn how to open up your body and allow these emotions in.

You will create a practice for teaching your body and mind a NEW pattern, making this new way of being more readily available when you need it.

SO EXCITED to share this with you!  Get more info and register at www.joyfulcourage.com/joy

:::::

All the goods at www.joyfulcourage.com/yes

Intention Bracelets

Back by popular demand!! The Joyful Courage intention bracelets are back in stock and I am THRILLED to have been able to have had the community vote on the reminders that are on them…. Breathe, Pause, Trust, Surrender, Kindness – what do you need?.

Joyful Courage SHIRTS

Women cut tanks and tees are ready for you to BUY NOW!!  Wearable reminders for how you want to show up in the world.

DAILY INTENTION CARDS

What do you think about the Daily Intention Cards???  These cards are designed to support you in your conscious, intentional parenting practice.

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on iTunes to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast on iTunes to help me spread the show to an ever larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

:::::

Welcome, thank you for showing up!

Content:

My guest today is Lori Petro.  Lori is passionate about conscious parenting and was a guest on Episode 62. She is an advocate for children and families, a parent educator, mama and founder of Teach Through Love.

• Lori’s journey began as being a misunderstood kid… Followed by HAVING a child and wanting to provide her with something different than what she experienced
• Lori is a creator/artist at heart wanting to created compassion and understanding in our communication with each other
• Inspired to create a better world for her kid and everyone else to live in
• Conscious communication cards
  • Conscious communication – supporting parents in taking their understanding of conscious parenting into the language and way of being they bring to their relationships
  • Staying present and leaving the blame, shame, judgment and guilt behind
• Communication includes messages we deliver with what we SAY, as well as what we DON’T say, our tone, our body language – we are always sending messages
• Parents do TO the children to get them to be what we want them to be…. It’s about allowing our kids HAVE THE EXPERIENCE and learning from there
• SEEING our children in their emotion/experience
• They are there to provoke us in our own self awareness
• Listening to understand…. Lean in to understanding our children’s experience and what it is like to BE them… (Lori shares lip gloss story) Otherwise we miss the fullness of what is their life (Casey shares crop top story)
• Not about saying the perfect right thing, it’s about continuing the conversation with our kids around the places where we want a deeper understanding
  • Tell me more about that…
  • It’s bigger than the make-up and the crop top
  • Opens up conversation
• Conversations to understand vs conversation that are ultimately begun to convince our kids that we are right and they are wrong
• 20:40 Aware of when our agenda of fear is clouding their experience of growing into their own maturity
• Conscious parenting is not one long negotiation
  • Being firm is a piece of it
  • Be ok when kids don’t like the boundary
• Conscious communication cards
  • Came from ideas that Lori posted on line every week
  • Developed into a model for her parenting program
  • Stress/skills/support
    • Am I looking to help my child regulate? (stress)
    • Am I trying to help my child build and emerging skill? (skills)
    • Am I trying to mend/repair relationship? (support)
  • Divided into two section
    • Behaviors/words to avoid
    • Examples of what to say/directions to go in
  • Target cards
    • What you can look for to find the root cause of behavior
    • 5 steps for peaceful resolution
  • Parents use the cards in many different ways
    • Post them in their world
    • Sit with them at the end of the day and review them
  • IT’S A PRACTICE
    • Daily
    • Progress not perfection (even for Lori)
  • Our brains never stop developing and we can always learn new skills
    • We still have not great parenting moments but we OWN IT
  • Lori shares about her personal practices
    • Finding work/life balance
    • Meditation
    • DAILY mindfulness

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

Not doing things that my heart doesn’t want to do – to not do anything because I was guilted into it, then I am not doing it because I want to , but because I feel less of myself. And I am trying to move out of any victim thinking, or less than thinking…  Up our self worth as parents then offer that to our kids.

Where to find Lori: 

Website l Facebook

Conscious Communication Cards

::::: 

LIVING JOYFUL COURAGE MEMBERSHIP 2018

YES!!. Doors are OPEN for 15% off the price if you are READY to be a yes to the 2018 LJC Membership Program - DISCOuNT ONLY GOOD THROUGH DECEMBER 2017!!

On my journey of strengthening my awareness and practicing conscious parenting, LJC is the support and inspiration I NEED to put the knowledge and tools I have to work in real life, every single day. I am deeply grateful for this group of incredible women and for Casey.  - Mama Lauren

Sign up now http://www.joyfulcourage.com/living-jc/

:::::

All the goods at www.joyfulcourage.com/yes

Intention Bracelets

 Back by popular demand!! The Joyful Courage intention bracelets are back in stock and I am THRILLED to have been able to have had the community vote on the reminders that are on them…. Breathe, Pause, Trust, Surrender, Kindness – what do you need?.

Joyful Courage SHIRTS

Women cut tanks and tees are ready for you to BUY NOW!!  Wearable reminders for how you want to show up in the world.

DAILY INTENTION CARDS

What do you think about the Daily Intention Cards???  These cards are designed to support you in your conscious, intentional parenting practice.

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on iTunes to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast on iTunes to help me spread the show to an ever larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

:::::

SOLO SHOW

Context – we all have the power and the skills to be the parent we want to be 

A recent post from the Live and Love with Joyful Courage community:

Can we talk about sharing our big feelings with our kids?

My kids are 2.5 and 4.5yo, and I don't know how to share my big feelings in front of them without freaking them out. I want to be able to be my full and authentic self with them, in an age appropriate way. And I realize, the fact that they are upset when I am upset means that they are afraid of my big feelings and may be afraid of their own big feelings. We try to welcome their big feelings (tantrums, disappointment, etc.) but I think we do a miserable job at it.

Compounding this, I am someone with explosive emotions. I tend to feel things very deeply and it takes me time to calm down. I have worked hard to make sure I don't express those emotions in a negative or scary way. But instead I most often bottle them up, which isn't good either.

Celebrating awareness. Celebrating emotional intelligence. Celebrating authenticity. Celebrating personal responsibility.

Misconceptions (in general):

• not ok for our children to see us upset
• not ok for our children to FEEL upset
  • they’re being naughty
  • they’re manipulating
  • they’re learning “bad behavior”
• welcoming big feelings is the same as condoning hurtful behavior

This is a POWERFUL example of what I think is the PURPOSE of parenting:

• to grow into our best selves

Children are mirrors

• not mimics
• instead, provide a reflection of how we effect the world, what our impact is, what we are inviting

Children/parenting journey is an invitation

• recognizing conditioning
• recognizing what our “driver” is
• recognize commitment vs attachment
  • Committed to being a connected parent vs attachment to what that looks like (slippery, perfectionism, comparison) 

Children/parenting journey is unrelenting

• The lessons come every day, moment to moment
• The growth is like peeling an onion
• There is no where to ARRIVE

Child/parenting journey is an opportunity to grow

• I can’t say this enough
• Where are your hard edges?
• Where is there room for self growth?
• Where can flexibility show up inside of rigidity
  • “I am someone with explosive emotions.”
  • We are ALWAYS evolving
    • What can we learn about ourselves?
    • What can we practice that will be more helpful and less hurtful?
    • How can we deliver our experiences and be heard?
    • How can we create a PRACTICE that honors us and our experience while also models the life skills we want our children to one day embody?
      • Practices are UNIQUE and INDIVIDUAL
      • The myth of “balance”
      • Assumptions about our “roles”

Taking care of ourselves and our own self-regulation, in the end, will do more to teach our children and influence their behavior than any tool you can find in a book or the internet.

You’ve got this!

:::::

Intention Bracelets

Back by popular demand!! The Joyful Courage intention bracelets are back in stock and I am THRILLED to have been able to have had the community vote on the reminders that are on them…. Breathe, Pause, Trust, Surrender, Kindness – what do you need?. Find them at http://www.joyfulcourage.com/mantra-bracelets/

Joyful Courage SHIRTS!!

Women cut tanks and tees are ready for you to BUY NOW!!  Wearable reminders for how you want to show up in the world.

Get yours now à http://www.joyfulcourage.com/jcshirts

DAILY INTENTION CARDS

What do you think about the Daily Intention Cards???  These cards are designed to support you in your conscious, intentional parenting practice.

Get yours now – http://www.joyfulcourage.com/intentioncards

:::::

LIVING JOYFUL COURAGE MEMBERSHIP 2018

YES!!. Doors are OPEN for 15% off the price if you are READY to be a yes to the 2018 LJC Membership Program.

On my journey of strengthening my awareness and practicing conscious parenting, LJC is the support and inspiration I NEED to put the knowledge and tools I have to work in real life, every single day. I am deeply grateful for this group of incredible women and for Casey.  - Mama Lauren

Sign up now http://www.joyfulcourage.com/living-jc/

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on iTunes to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast on iTunes to help me spread the show to an ever larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

:::::

Hey everybody, welcome to the Joyful Courage Podcast, a place for information and inspiration on the conscious parenting journey. I am Casey O’Roarty, Positive Discipline Trainer, Parent Coach, and honored to be your guide in the work of showing up as your best for yourself and your family.

If you feel as though parenting is one long personal growth and development workshop, you have come to the right place. The conversations you will here on this podcast are all intended to offer you tools for moving forward, for expanding your lens, and for shifting your narrative to one of possibility, connection and empowerment.

You CAN be the parent you want to be. 

We are influencing the world with how we raise our children. When we bring deep listening, acceptance, and courage to our relationships, we are doing our part to evoke it in the world. I am thrilled to partner with you on this path.

:::::

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:::::

Welcome Mercedes Samudio.  For almost a decade, Mercedes has been working with families  to help them develop healthy communication skills, manage severe emotional issues, develop coping skills to manage behaviors, create dynamic parent-child relationships, and navigate social media & technology as a family.

Throughout the course of her career she has worked with adoptive families, foster families, teen parents, parents navigating the child protective services system, and children living with mental illness.

In 2014, Mercedes began to transition into her private practice where she focuses on parent coaching and guiding families to reducing unwanted behaviors, developing effective parenting strategies, creating healthy communication habits, and designing social media/tech plans for their household.

Content:

• Mercedes talks about her background experience with teen parents
• Supporting parents in being confident in their ever evolving parenting identity
• Where #endparentshaming came from
• Others/media offering mixed judgments – no one changes when they feel shame/unsafe
• Movement to get people to see that even when others are doing things you don’t agree with, how to step into empathy to see where they need support
• People doing the best they can with the tools they have
• Shame as a defense to our own discomfort
• “Raising a human while trying to be authentically human yourself”
• You are bigger than your parent role
• Take time to focus on self and partner as a tool for surrendering to what your child’s current challenge is
• When we focus solely on our child’s mistakes, all we see are their mistakes
• Bring the skills/areas of other parts of our life into the parts that feel a bit shakey
• 10,000 feet view
• We have our own shame conversations….
  • Reframe the expectations you have of yourself
  • Example: how do you deal with things when you are angry?
  • What do I need, what can I do for myself?
  • How can I use my support system to help me?
• The misperception that conscious parenting shouldn’t be hard
• Conscious parenting requires us to be conscious parenting
• 18:30 quote
• People are attached to their shame – the stories feel familiar
• Figure out what your stories are that take you to shame
• People grow and change in space that is free from shame and judgement
• Considering FOO – Family Of Origin
  • Write down why these relationships matter to you
  • Still want connection…
  • Let them know WHY you want to stay connected (be specific)
  • Then, share what it is that you are going to be practicing and invite the family member into supporting you
  • Ask for alignment
• CONNECT BEFORE CORRECT (not just for kids J )
• Set you boundaries to keep YOUR bucket full for YOU family
• Shameproof Parenting by Mercedes
• How to build support with other parents and non parents
• A shame proof village!

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

Being able to find joy even in the times when it’s not happening... I’m still showing up.

Where to find Mercedes: 

Website l You Tube

 :::::

Intention Bracelets

Back by popular demand!! The Joyful Courage intention bracelets are back in stock and I am THRILLED to have been able to have had the community vote on the reminders that are on them…. Breathe, Pause, Trust, Surrender, Kindness – what do you need?. Find them at http://www.joyfulcourage.com/mantra-bracelets/

Joyful Courage SHIRTS!!

Women cut tanks and tees are ready for you to BUY NOW!!  Wearable reminders for how you want to show up in the world.

Get yours now à http://www.joyfulcourage.com/jcshirts

DAILY INTENTION CARDS

What do you think about the Daily Intention Cards???  These cards are designed to support you in your conscious, intentional parenting practice.

Get yours now – http://www.joyfulcourage.com/intentioncards

:::::

LIVING JOYFUL COURAGE MEMBERSHIP 2018

YES!!. Doors are OPEN for 15% off the price if you are READY to be a yes to the 2018 LJC Membership Program.

On my journey of strengthening my awareness and practicing conscious parenting, LJC is the support and inspiration I NEED to put the knowledge and tools I have to work in real life, every single day. I am deeply grateful for this group of incredible women and for Casey.  - Mama Lauren

Sign up now http://www.joyfulcourage.com/living-jc/

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on iTunes to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast on iTunes to help me spread the show to an ever larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

:::::

Hey everybody, welcome to the Joyful Courage Podcast, a place for information and inspiration on the conscious parenting journey. I am Casey O’Roarty, Positive Discipline Trainer, Parent Coach, and honored to be your guide in the work of showing up as your best for yourself and your family.

If you feel as though parenting is one long personal growth and development workshop, you have come to the right place. The conversations you will here on this podcast are all intended to offer you tools for moving forward, for expanding your lens, and for shifting your narrative to one of possibility, connection and empowerment.

You CAN be the parent you want to be. 

We are influencing the world with how we raise our children. When we bring deep listening, acceptance, and courage to our relationships, we are doing our part to evoke it in the world. I am thrilled to partner with you on this path.

:::::

Intro Sharing:

• Visioning about supporting all of you!!
• E-League
• The conversations I want to be having on the show… Minding the gap, supporting you ALL in being the parenting you want to be when it is hard to do!
  • If you want to show up different you MUST practice doing the work, leaning in, choosing YES

Content:

What it means to be intentional

• Bringing qualities to OUR body and OUR experience
• Present moment is key
• Awareness is grown through practice 

Getting hooked

• Our kids behavior as bids
• The lob
• Passing on the uncomfortable energy to someone else that can hold it
• Development

Listening, Acceptance and Courage

• Others – what is being said, isn’t being said, body, etc
• Self – get still and listen to our inner voice, NOT THE EGO, but the voice that is deeper
  • What is your current story about yourself and your family?
  • Is it true?
  • Byron Katie – turn it around
  • Is it true
    • Finding evidence
  • Accept that this is where you are at.
    • Noticing urgency/frantic energy
      • Unless there is an emergency, this is not helpful
    • BBB
      • Breath
      • Body
      • Balcony
    • Courage to trust
      • Follow your intuition
      • Let it go/surrender
      • Trust the people in your life
      • Trust the process
      • Trust that the people in your life want to live their best life too
        • Making decisions for ourselves VS against the other person/expectation

:::::

Intention Bracelets

Back by popular demand!! The Joyful Courage intention bracelets are back in stock and I am THRILLED to have been able to have had the community vote on the reminders that are on them…. Breathe, Pause, Trust, Surrender, Kindness – what do you need?. Find them at http://www.joyfulcourage.com/mantra-bracelets/

Joyful Courage SHIRTS!!

Women cut tanks and tees are ready for you to BUY NOW!!  Wearable reminders for how you want to show up in the world.

Get yours now à http://www.joyfulcourage.com/jcshirts

DAILY INTENTION CARDS

What do you think about the Daily Intention Cards???  These cards are designed to support you in your conscious, intentional parenting practice.

Get yours now – http://www.joyfulcourage.com/intentioncards 

:::::

 LIVING JOYFUL COURAGE MEMBERSHIP 2018

YES!!. Doors are OPEN for 15% off the price if you are READY to be a yes to the 2018 LJC Membership Program.

On my journey of strengthening my awareness and practicing conscious parenting, LJC is the support and inspiration I NEED to put the knowledge and tools I have to work in real life, every single day. I am deeply grateful for this group of incredible women and for Casey.  - Mama Lauren

Sign up now http://www.joyfulcourage.com/living-jc/

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on iTunes to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast on iTunes to help me spread the show to an ever larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

:::::

Guest Intro:

Dr. Robin McEvoy is a developmental neuropsychologist practicing in Denver, Colorado.  She evaluates and diagnoses a wide range of learning disabilities and learning needs in children, adolescents and adults. This includes the identification of reading disabilities such as dyslexia. She then works with the family to develop a treatment plan to remediate the weaknesses and accentuate strengths. In addition to her private practice, Dr. McEvoy is an assistant professor at the University of Colorado Health Sciences Center. Dr. McEvoy has authored a children’s book, Buddy: A Story for Dyslexia  (illustrated by her daughter).  She is the co-author/editor of the recently published book, Child Decoded: Unlocking Complex Issues in Your Child’s Learning, Behavior, and Attention.

Content:

• Child Decoded – inspired by the tough expectations and increase in labeling/diagnoses of academic/social development.
• Using a master checklist as a guide for finding what it is they need
• Checklist is a triage
• Looking under the surface – physical/biomedical limitations
• Diet and gut and neurons
• Parents navigating all the services for their children with complex issues – and feeling as though no one else can “see” their child the way that they can
• Gather evidence with video and photo to share information about your child
• Child Decoded fills that gap for parents to go from “I have worries” to restarting when parents feeling stuck in the treatment/not sure what to do or where to go next
• Modify the environment vs supporting our kids in living in the “real world”
• Paradigm shift – we can be seeing every child in a more holistic way, look at every child as an individual… Mind AND body
• Current lens – we tend to treat at the symptom level with the “quickest” approach (lots of times with meds)
• Sometimes the answer is really simple
• Complimentary/Alternative medicine
• Both/and mindset… so many solutions in both western and eastern medicine
• Putting together the team – who is needed?
• How do you support parents with overwhelm and loneliness as they advocate for their kids…? Find support on the internet/social media – be proactive in seeking out support
• Breathe – complex issues or not, you are in this for the long haul

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

“Know that you have more experience with your child than anyone else…  You know your child the best. Have faith in your child, have faith in yourself.”

Robinmcevoy.com l Childdecoded.com

Blog l FB – Dr. Robin McEvoy

::::: 

Gratitude for my listeners!!

FEEDBACK THURSDAYS ::: Share your thoughts on the most recent podcast you’ve listened to – Live and Love with Joyful Courage 

IG l FB l EMAIL - casey@joyfulcourage.com

Sign up for the newsletter

Thanks Chris!! 

:::::

SHOP:

Discount - $10 off with the coupon code GRATEFUL

Joyful Courage SHIRTS!!

Women cut tanks and tees are ready for you to BUY NOW!!  Wearable reminders for how you want to show up in the world.

Get yours now à http://www.joyfulcourage.com/jcshirts

DAILY INTENTION CARDS

What do you think about the Daily Intention Cards???  These cards are designed to support you in your conscious, intentional parenting practice.

Get yours now – http://www.joyfulcourage.com/intentioncards

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on iTunes to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast on iTunes to help me spread the show to an ever larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!